Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

[BikeWriter]

SHE SAID I'M GOING OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS
MAGUARITAS AT THE HOLIDAY INN
OH MERCY...MY ONLY THOUGHT
WAS TEQUILA MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

I TOLD HER PUT AN EXTRA LAYER ON
I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHE DRINKS PATRON
HER CLOSETS MISSING HALF THE THINGS SHE BOUGHT
TEQUILA MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

CH....SHE'LL START BY KICKING OUT OF HER SHOES
LOSE AN EARRING IN HER DRINK
LEAVE HER JACKET IN THE BATH ROOM STALL
DROP A CONTACT DOWN THE SINK

THEM PANTYHOSE AIN'T GONNA LAST TOO LONG
IF THE D J PUTS BON JOVI ON
SHE MIGHT COME HOME IN A TABLECLOTH
TEQUILA MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

SOLO

SHE CAN HANDLE ANY CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH
BRIDAL SHOWER WITH BACARDI PUNCH
JELLO SHOOTERS FULL OF SMIRNOFF...
BUT TEQUILA MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

CHORUS

SHE DON'T MEAN NOTHING
SHE'S JUST HAVING FUN
TOMORROW SHE'LL SAY
OH WHAT HAVE I DONE
HER FRIENDS WILL JOKE ABOUT THE STUFF SHE LOST
CAUSE TEQUILA MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

[WCGreen]

1. I dunno.... wine works pretty well too.....

[BikeWriter]

4. A friend wrote and said it's "her" song. I had to post it here.

Joe Nichols is the artist.

[WCGreen]

10. Fun.....

[BikeWriter]

24. Yep, and brings back memories.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. This is hilarious, my dear BikeWriter!

Who wrote/sang it?

Remind me to stay the HELL away from tequila........


:rofl: :rofl:

[BikeWriter]

6. Joe Nichols is the artist. I HAD to share it with you all, my Dear.

:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. I am SO GLAD you did, my dear BikeWriter!

I am laughing out loud!


:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

14. Hee hee hee! It is cute. Here's a link to more of his lyrics.

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/nichols-joe/tequila-makes-her-clothes-fall-off-16179.html

[DanCa]

3. But did she swallow the worm ?

In the tequillia bottle that is psyche

[BikeWriter]

11. The worm is in mezcal. I have eaten the worm before.

[JVS]

5. This thread is useless without pictures

[BikeWriter]

13. True dat, but my account would be useless then.

:shrug:

[Ellen Forradalom]

8. You can't even imagine

the truth of that statement.

[BikeWriter]

15. Oh, I assure you I can remember it happening before.

:)

[Ellen Forradalom]

73. Were you at that same convention?

Quit pouring shots into me!

[In_The_Wind]

9. I never had that problem with all the Tequila I've consumed ...

:shrug:

[BikeWriter]

16. LOL! Maybe not that you can remember?

:)

[In_The_Wind]

18. I always went home with my clothes on.

I remember skilled fingers removing them ...

[BikeWriter]

22. LOL! I was told once by a Lady she didn't recall...

how her clothes came off.

[In_The_Wind]

25. Believe me! I Always Remember My Clothes Coming Off ...

Or for that matter ...

even being rearranged ...

Some things are too danged important to ignore.

[BikeWriter]

28. Sleight of hand is an art, Joan.

[In_The_Wind]

30. Of course it is ...

and a very tantalizing one at that ...

[BikeWriter]

31. That subject brings another song to mind, Sweety.

Slow Hand recorded by the Pointer Sisters
also recorded by Del Reeves, and Conway Twitty




As the midnight moon, was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes, lookin' into mine
Seeing what you wanted to see
Darlin' don't say a word, 'cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
I'm tired of fast moves
I've got a slow groove...
On my mind

I want a man with a slow hand
I want a lover with an easy touch
I want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand.

On shadowed ground, with no one around
And a blanket of stars in our eyes
We are drifting free, like two lost leaves
On the crazy wind of the night
Darlin', don't say a word, 'cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
If I want it all night
You say it's alright
We got the time

'Cause I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand.

If I want it all night
Please say it's alright
It's not a fast move
But a slow groove
On my mind

'Cause I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand.

http://www.geocities.com/merrystar3/allysongs/SlowHand.htm

[In_The_Wind]

33. You're reading my mind, my wants & desires ...

That man must be out there somewhere ...

I'm sure there must be more than one ...

The only trick is finding them ...

[BikeWriter]

34. Yes'm, finding someone is easy...

Finding the right one can be much more difficult.

[In_The_Wind]

38. I'm too old and picky for just anyone ...

If it isn't right ...

it ain't happening! I'd rather hug my pillow instead of the wrong man ...

been there, done that ...

hopefully not again ...

[BikeWriter]

43. That's the reason I've been so reserved for the last five years.

Oh, I had a Lady friend visit and spend a week. We got along wonderfully, wined and dined and everything else, until... I found out she'd told my best online friend beforehand she intended to beat her time with me. She didn't get invited back.
I've been seeing an old flame for the past two years, but I've kept that to just good friends. I've lived through too many committments breaking up to get into another lightly.

[Ouabache]

26. and of course you absolutely had no hand in it

I assume.

[BikeWriter]

29. Back in the day I was a wizard at zippers, buttons, and snaps.

:)

[GrpCaptMandrake]

12. Puh-leeeeez tell me there's a recording

of this! I must hear it!

:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

19. Here's his website. I'll see if I can find a recording online.

http://www.joenichols.com/music/

[BikeWriter]

27. Here's a site with a segment of it playing!

http://www.minibite.com/funstuff/tequila.htm

or download it here: http://www.elocutions.com/funchit/Joe%20Nickles%20-%20Tequila%20Makes%20Her%20Clothes%20Fall%20Off.wav

[GrpCaptMandrake]

63. What a hoot!

And he even refers to *good* tequila, not Cuervo!

:toast:

[BikeWriter]

68. Yep, Patron is my Brother's brand.

[DanCa]

17. Reno by Bruce Springsteen ha. haha hah

She took off her stockings, I held them to my face.
She had your ankles, I felt filled with grace.
"Two hundred dollars straight in,
Two-fifty up the ass," she smiled and said.
She unbuckled my belt, pulled back her hair,
And sat in front of me on the bed.
She said, "Honey how's that feel, do you want me to go slow?"
My eyes drifted out the window, down to the road below.

I felt my stomach tighten. The sun bloodied the sky
And sliced through the hotel blinds. I closed my eyes.
Sunlight on the Amatitlan, sunlight streaming thru your hair.
In the Valle de dos Rios, smell of mock orange filled the air.
We rode with the vaqueros, down into cool rivers of green.
I was sure the work and that smile coming out 'neath your hat
Was all I'd ever need.
Somehow all you ever need's, never really quite enough you know.
You and I, Maria, we learned it's so.

She slipped me out of her mouth, "You're ready," she said.
She took off her bra and panties, wet her finger, slipped it inside her,
And crawled over me on the bed.
She poured me another whisky,
Said, "Here's to the best you ever had."
We laughed and made a toast.
It wasn't the best I ever had,
Not even close.

[BikeWriter]

20. Aw hell, that brings back a few memories.

[DanCa]

21. The last line is priceless though aint it? :D

Ive been there myself.

[BikeWriter]

23. Yep, for sure.

[Wetzelbill]

32. that and a few well delivered compliments

:)

[BikeWriter]

35. Yep, I recall a beautiful little blonde, dancing and drinking shots...

:)

[DanCa]

36. Will my five dollar bill with a string attached work?

[Wetzelbill]

39. well, if you're looking for me

to give out answers on how to get laid, then you're already in trouble. :)

[DanCa]

41. Hey it's been so long for me - that I have priests laughing at me.

JK :D :bounce:

[Wetzelbill]

44. hahahaha

what am I laughing at? I'm in the same boat as you are. :)

[BikeWriter]

47. Oh, no! That's so sad!

[BikeWriter]

45. ROFL! That depends on who you're talking to, Pard.

[SeattleGirl]

42. You three boys are incorrigible!!

:spank: :spank: :spank: :evilgrin:

[Wetzelbill]

46. you want a margarita

beautiful princess? :evilgrin:

[SeattleGirl]

49. That's High Priestess, fella!

Mistress SeattleGirl, the High Priestess of Ethereal Pleasures, to be exact.

And, I'd prefer a Velvet and Coke. :evilgrin:

[DanCa]

51. All hail thee Seattle Girl

Kneels in adoration.

[SeattleGirl]

53. As it should be!

Here is your reward: :spank: :evilgrin:

[Wetzelbill]

55. Shot down again

dammit!

:)

[BikeWriter]

48. I don't think a paddle intimidates these guys.

:rofl:

[SeattleGirl]

52. I think you're right!

Perhaps the threat of withholding the paddle will work better! :rofl:

[BikeWriter]

54. Really! I think you're right, Dear. LOL!

[Wapsie B]

37. Vodka works for me.

Just sneaks right up on a person.

[Wetzelbill]

40. a woman pretty much just showing up works for me

}(

[Wapsie B]

56. Yeah I hear ya friend.

[BikeWriter]

50. Vodka can be a sneaky drink, for certain!

[Wapsie B]

57. Vodka and lemon/limeade and ice.

Dear god in heaven,that's the most wicked drink I've had. It goes down like you're drinking soda pop and you think nothing of it as you have more and more. Then pretty soon you have no spine at all. ;-)

[BikeWriter]

58. I'm sipping on a Fuzzy Navel...

Peach Schnapps, vodka, and orange juice. I like a sweet drink now and then, plus Mom always wanted us to have our vitamin C.

[Wapsie B]

59. Those aren't too bad.

As long as I sip I'm fine and not drink too much. If I can taste the hard liquor I'm fine.

[BikeWriter]

60. Oh, they do go down easy, sometimes too easy.

I go through spells of different mixed drinks. I'd have my Margarita spells, when we'd put a big bottle of Jose and a bottle of mixer in one saddlebag, what's her name's Captain Morgan in the other, and haul ass. She toted my twenty-something oz. 'Rita glass thousands of miles without breaking it. Damn, I miss those Margaritas!:cry:

[Wapsie B]

61. Been such a long time since I've had a Margarita

that I've forgotten how one tastes.

[BikeWriter]

62. It's been too long then. It's time I picked up a bottle, too.

I may have to throw a Margarita drunk... if I can find half a dozen or so backups to get me home.

[Kali]

64. Please use Cointreu instead of Trip Sec

signed the margarita police.

[BikeWriter]

69. Okay, I'll try to avoid arrest!

[Shell Beau]

65. I just heard this yesterday!

:evilgrin:

[BikeWriter]

70. Yes'm, it's a pretty good one. It must be playing in Canada...

That's where my Friend who mentioned it is living.

[WeRQ4U]

66. I couldn't believe this was an actual song when I heard it.

I though it was some kind of spoof. But then I remembered that Country Western also boasts such hits as "Let's All Get Drunk and Screw" and "All Jacked Up"

[BikeWriter]

71. Oh yeah. Country has some interesting titles. ;-)

[LSK]

67. is there a music video?

:evilgrin: :9

[BikeWriter]

72. All I've found so far is a wav clip.

http://www.elocutions.com/funchit/Joe%20Nickles%20-%20Tequila%20Makes%20Her%20Clothes%20Fall%20Off.wav