I did something real shitty

[Dirty Hippie]

Last night I hurt the feelings of a kind, loving elderly woman. She is my partner’s mother and was over for dinner. Unfortunately, she brought her big, out-of-control labrador with her. He was all over the house. If we put him outside he would fling his body against the door trying to get in. I caught him trying to chew our leather recliner and at one point he went for my expensive shoes. What finally put me over the edge was when he followed me into our bedroom and promptly peed on the floor. I lost it and shouted to my partner to clean it up. Her mother heard the aggravation (to put it mildly) in my voice.

The elderly mom got the dog 18 months ago. We begged her to get something small. We own a lab and we are very aware of the attention it takes to train a dog, especially a high-energy breed.

I feel shitty anyway. This woman is like a saint and I know I made her feel unwelcome in our home.

[LynneSin]

1. I had a neighbor with a lab like that

Anytime he got excited, he'd pee on the spot and the owner worked like 12-14 hours a day and barely had the time to help train the dog.

Labs do need attention and this one needs tons of training. Why not offer to take the dog to Obdience school and get the dog the training and discipline it needs so that it's not chewing and peeing out of control.

Also, if she is unable to walk the dog enough, maybe there is a local teenager in the neighborhood that you could pay to walk the dog each day. I use to do that for one of my neighbor's dog for about a year or so until the moved away.

[catpower2000]

2. I don't think you did anything wrong, actually...

People who don't have the time/energy/stamina to properly train a dog (especially a high-strung breed like a lab), do themselves, the dog, and everyone in their lives a huge disservice by getting one anyway. It's just like people who have children when they're not willing/ready/able to take the time to train them properly. Everyone else around suffers.

Cat

[TXlib]

5. I agree

You both made it clear you didn't want her to get a lab, and you probably hinted you didn't want it over.

The dog was the unwanted guest, not the woman. Make that clear to her.

[Skittles]

3. call her and apologize

if you made her feel unwelcome; tell her you just got frustrated. Perhaps you could discuss the dog's behavior and give her some tips.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Well, if it's any consolation, the first faux pas was made by her

by bringing her dog with her.

And you were well within your rights to be angry over the situation.

But I can understand how, even when one is totally in the right, one can feel bad about it, especially when one yells at a loved one (or, in this case, obliquely yells at a loved one).

I think a phone call from you to apologize (though in many ways, you really don't need to) would build tremendous diplomatic relationships and make you look all that much more like a star, much better than waiting for her to call you to apologize for the dog; and in the conversation, you can gently let her know you realyl don't want the dog over at your place again.