Stop me if you've heard this before...

[BurtWorm]

An old Irish priest is assigned to teach catechism classes in an old Tuscan farming village. On the first day of class, he asks the group of boys in the room, "Who here believes in ghosts?"

Every hand shoots up.

"Okay," says the priest, "now, who here has ever seen a ghost?"

Half the hands come down.

After a pause, the priest says, "Now, who here has ever made love to a ghost?"

All the hands come down except one in the back of the room. The priest looks over his glasses and says, "Really, Luigi? You've made love to a ghost?"

Luigi looks puzzled for a second, then laughs. "Oh," he says. "I thought-a you said-a 'goat'!"

[yeti]

1. Have you ever heard the one about ...

...The time the pope was in town giving a speech, and the Seven Dwarves were in attendance?

Well, the speech was beautiful, every one was moved and inspired, and the pope surprised everyone by taking questions after the talk.

Most folks were too awestruck and intimidated by the pope's presence to raise their hands, but in the back, Dopey the Dwarf stood on his chair and raised his hand, "Mister Pope! Mister Pope! I have a question!"

The pope looked toward Dopey, "Yes, Dopey. What is your question?"

"Mister Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?"

"No," the pope replied, "There are no dwarf nuns in the Vatican." He looked around the audience for the next raised hand, but Dopey was still quite agitated.

"Mister Pope, I have another question, please!"

"Very well," the pope replied. "You may ask another question, Dopey."

"Mister Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The pope was a bit perplexed, but answered kindly, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome, either," and began to look for another questioner.

"Mister Pope! PLEASE Mister Pope! Just one more question, PLEASE!" Dopey's voice had an air of desperation.

The pope is wondering what Dopey is driving at, and the crowd is murmering and giggling, but the pope agrees to answer one more question for Dopey.

Dopey now chokes out "Mister Pope, are there any dwarf nuns ANYWHERE in the world?"

The pope doesn't understand what Dopey is driving at, but answers truthfully, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

Silence for a moment, then a murmur grows from behind Dopey. The murmer grown to a mocking chant, and its coming from the other dwarves.

"Dopey f*cked a penguin! Dopey f*cked a penguin! nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah..."

[BurtWorm]

2. That's cute

I did hear that one before, but it's still funny.

:toast:

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. A horse walks into a bar...

and the bartender looks at him and says,"Hey, why the long face?"

:hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: