My two cents on all this clique stuff.

[Mutley]

I've never in my life been a part of the "popular group", and I'm certainly not a part of the "popular group" on DU. But who cares? That has never stopped me from having a good time in the Lounge.

There are plenty of people here that I talk to almost every day, and even though I haven't met them in person I still think of them as my friends. Some of the "clique" people know each other in real life, and love each other very much. We can't expect them to treat everyone that same way -- it just wouldn't be sincere. Make your own friends. Start your own inside jokes. Form your own clique.

I don't think anyone should be mean to anyone else just for the hell of it, but if I see someone who is like that I just avoid that person. Easy enough. I don't get all upset about it and cause a scene.

I don't think shutting down the Lounge, or alerting on everyone, or complaining to the admins, or starting huge Lounge wars is the answer. Everyone is responsible for moderating their own behavior, and if someone does not like someone else's behavior, then ignore it. That is what we all do in real life. We don't go to our boss at work every day and complain that so and so won't be my friend, do we? I mean, I hope not.

We are all supposed to be on the same side here. We are all progressives. Our petty differences should mean nothing.

[PROMETHEUS UNBOUND]

1. Is there a problem here?

[Mutley]

3. It's a long story.

Long story. I don't know the whole thing myself, but... read through the last five or so pages and look at the locked threads to get an idea. That's what I did.

[PROMETHEUS UNBOUND]

27. I am sorry that I ask.

I found the answer to my question in a thread on page 6. :cry:

[Mutley]

39. Sometimes these things happen on DU.

I've been here about a year, and I've seen several humongous Lounge wars, some of them justified, some of them silly. Someone usually ends up tombstoned. I just wish everyone could get along. I'm a sap, what can I say.

[no name no slogan]

2. Took the words right out of my mouth

All this clique stuff is really getting tired. I'm the same as you-- I've never been popular, but since I've been an adult I've tried to get along with everybody, no matter who they are. Consequently, I have a lot of friends of differing backgrounds, political views and experiences.

I know some people better than others here-- mainly because I've met them face-to-face and have spent a lot of time with them. That doesn't mean I don't like anybody else.

This clique stuff is bullshit. People are acting like it's the most important thing in the world, like it's the fucking prom. Well, I never went to prom (didn't have the balls to ask anyone), and I survived alright.

I mean, it IS possible for everybody to act like civilized human beings, right?

[Mutley]

5. There might be "cliques". I wouldn't even call it that.

But, I couldn't care less about the "clique", or whatever. And for the most part, I have never felt ignored by the "popular" people. It just seems pointless to me to get all upset about this.

[AussieDave]

4. What you say makes much sense

I firmly believe there are some "cliques" here - but it's just friends kidding around with each other - no harm done and I certainly take no offence. One can have lots of friends, but one can't be friends with EVERYBODY.

I take the seagull approach - if I see a thread I like, I fly in, flap around a lot, drop a heap of crap everywhere and flap away again. If I get a response, great - if I don't, then maybe what I said wasn't quite up to the mark. Fine with me - I'm not the smartest or funniest person in the world but I like to contribute, whether it's here in the Lounge, or in GD or elsewhere.

[Mutley]

6. My sentiments exactly.

:)

[no name no slogan]

7. "seagull" approach

:rofl:

I haven't mentioned this before, but I love your posts! I like the term "seagull approach", too. Words to live by, IMHO!

[AussieDave]

8. Thanks mate - I really appreciate that

I don't post often (the time difference is a killer) but I don't want to waste everyone's time with junk. If I can come out with a bon mot occasionally it's a bonus.

:toast:

[ContraBass Black]

9. Bouncy Ball recognized me yesterday.

I feel popular now.

[WindRavenX]

10. ?

I hope you're being sarcastic.
What's your point?

[ContraBass Black]

14. My point is

A little personal recognition is lovely, and closer association or exclusive grouping unnecessary.

I've yet to have a problem with anyone, although there are people I just don't listen to.

[WindRavenX]

22. same here

I just don't see why people get so fucking worked up about this.

[ContraBass Black]

32. I don't see why my post warranted two defensive responses.

Please, explain my misstep.

[Mutley]

35. I can't speak for WindRaven

but for me it just sounded like you were mocking me. But as I said, perhaps I misunderstood.

[WindRavenX]

38. here's why

You said "I was finally recognized by X poster" which implies that poster X was 1)ignoring you 2) "better" than other posters. Neither of which are true. I got defensive because in previous "clique wars" certain posters were named to be "ignoring" newbie posters and they felt hurt. This wasn't done maliciously, but feelings were hurt. That's why I was wondering why you singled out that particuar poster.
No snarkiness was meant by my response to you.

[ContraBass Black]

53. "finally" is not in my post.

I mentioned her by name because she is the first one to make me aware of doing so.

[Mutley]

13. Okay.

I guess you're being snarky towards me?

[ContraBass Black]

16. Does that sound belligerent?

It shouldn't.

See my elaboration above.

[Mutley]

19. I did. But maybe I misunderstood.

I can see why some people are closer here than others. I don't think many, if any, want to socialize exclusively with their friends. Nearly everyone who (I gather from some of the posts today) is considered to be in the "clique" group has spoken to me at least once. I think some are just being oversensitive, and I am one to sometimes be super-oversensitive.

[ContraBass Black]

37. I don't even know who the clique is.

And what ever's going on, I don't think I would care terribly much if I knew.

Now, if whatever it is came around to bite me, I suppose it's entirely possible that I would change my tune completely and decry the injustice.

[Mutley]

41. But that's what I saying -- there is not injustice.

Not intentional, at least.

[sundog]

11. aliens

[Mutley]

12. my aliens

:D

They only love me.

[jonnyblitz]

15. the thing about the DU cliques is anybody is welcome to join in!

if people make an effort to participate they are most likely welcome in any DU clique, unless they are creepy stalker types with ulterior motives who pester the crap out of people and won't take no for an answer. :shrug: most of the DU cliques are regional anyways because people are close enough to meet each other. many people have travelled to gather for protests in the major cities and have met that way, too. It's not as if you have to be a certain coolness to be in any DU clique. all walks of life and types hang out together here. one can't expect to notice or talk to people who don't join in and participate! that's how i see things anyway.

[Mutley]

18. That's how it's been for me.

I just inserted myself into various conversations until I gained recognizability. I tried my best not to piss anyone off or act like an asshole. And most people here speak to me, at least occasionally. And if I, of all people, can not be bothered by this, no one should.

[jonnyblitz]

26. if you happen to live in an area with plenty of DUers, like Boston

you basically have an instant group of people to hang out with if you go to gatherings and it doesnt matter if you are young, old, gay , straight, dork, whatever, as long as you have some sort of basic social skills, ie. not be an asshole. i bet i was posting on DU for a year before i even received one PM. i believe you get what you give and, besides, there are so many people posting here you have to participate lots so people start recognizing your screenname often or it/you get lost in the crowd. :hi:

[Tab]

17. I'm not a lounge mod

but I'm not aware of any discussion (out front, or in the back rooms) of anyone "shutting down" the lounge.

That said, we do strive for civility here at DU.

[Mutley]

23. There was a thread that was locked...

that asked whether the admins should shut down the Lounge. That may or may not have been a joke, but several people in the thread did indeed agree that it should be shut down.

[southlandshari]

29. I AM a Lounge mod

And though I cannot speak in any official capacity on this matter, I do think folks need to know that there is no talk of shutting down the Lounge right now.

It has been a very long day here. And thread after thread is started poking fun at events - or people - from earlier today. Or rehashing locked threads.

None of it is really that funny or productive or friendly or pleasant.

I'm not picking on you, darlin' (if I was, I'd at least do it in Morse code - LOL).

Like I said, it's been a long day. I just wish folks would try to find a way to let things go for the rest of the night. The Lounge is not about to be shut down.

Big fat :hug: to you and everyone else here.

[Mutley]

33. Thanks shari.

I don't mean to rehash everything. I guess I just want to try and make peace. That is a part of who I am.

:hug:

[southlandshari]

45. Peace

is always a good thing, my dear friend!

:hug:

My only worry is that the message could be that those who use the alert function or raise issues with mods or admins are tattletales. Nothing could be further from the truth. Of course, my bias is obvious. But I don't think anyone really realizes what an unmoderated board of this size would be like. It would be a very unwelcoming place, methinks.

Still friends?

[Mutley]

48. Of course we're still friends!

:hug:


And I hope everyone reading this knows I was not trying to imply anything bad about anyone! I just want us all to get along.

[Tab]

43. Well, we wouldn't mind evacuating....

and cleaning the carpets once in a while...

but as far as I know, the lounge is here to stay..

Unless y'all get arrested for making too much noise, or cause our liquor license to get pulled...

[Mutley]

46. Or maybe we'll invade the Mod hot tub!

:evilgrin:

[southlandshari]

49. Just don't sit next to Blue Jay

For some reason, the water is always really warm around him...

;)

[Mutley]

51. Eww! :D

:P

Don't make me lock my own thread for bodily functions! :evilgrin: Wait, I can't lock threads. So, don't make me make you lock my thread!

[Tab]

54. Hey

There is no moderator hot tub.

And even if there was, it wouldn't have the big-screen TV, the margarita bar, or the wireless WiFi hotspots. Or the geisha girls for the male mods, or the Chippendale guys for the female mods (or combinations for whomever prefers something different).

Rest assured all moderating decisions are conducted in a purely sober, if not actually boring, fashion, by a team of democracy devotees that have no social life, but focus their attention on adjudicating dissensions on very personal matters in the lounge.

So, don't believe everything you hear.

Otherwise, everyone would want to be a moderator.

[Mutley]

56. *gasp*! Margarita bar!? Chippendales!?

Does DU accept part time moderators? :D

[AussieDave]

61. Right - that's it - if there's a margarita bar and Chippendales

I'm available for adoption by any mod who cares to take me under his/her wing

Or failing that I'll do a Jeff Gannon and rent myself at a bargain basement price (can you spell "desperate" ??)

[crispini]

20. Well, I am still not entirely sure what torqued everybody up today.

But well said, anyway. :applause:

As for me, I really do enjoy hanging out in the Lounge but for some reason I talk more in GD and some other forums. :shrug: I just can't seem to do the small chat that well. But it's all good. :D

[Mutley]

25. Thanks.

I don't know exactly what happened either. I went back and read several of the locked threads and gathered from that that the clique issue came up again, and at least one person was TSed.

I tend to hang out pretty evenly in GD and the Lounge.

[Clintmax]

21. Evening, Miss Mutley!

:hi:
We usually talk in the early mornings you and I! It's good to see you in the evening!

I've been watching the clique stuff too and I agree with YOU. I may be popular with the early morning crew, but EVERYONE is welcome in any thread I post. I consider all of the people I talk to every day my friends also. You included. So I guess we two are part of the same clique, huh? :hug:

[Mutley]

28. Yes, I suppose we are!

:hug: I'm glad you think of me as a friend. :)

I'm usually in bed by now, but the SO is working late tonight, and I have to pick him up. *yawn* I can't wait to be asleep, though. :D

[Clintmax]

31. I'm going to bed soon too.

But I'll be up at 5:00 as usual. The "Captain Clintmax / Miss Mutley Clique". Kinda catchy, huh? :rofl:

[Mutley]

34. The two person clique!

:D

I may sleep until 6, but I'll be in on your Good Morning, Everybody thread as soon as I get some coffee in me.

[Clintmax]

36. No, it's not just us...

I'm including everyone in the early mornings too.

[Mutley]

42. Of course. I was just making light of this situation a little.

[Clintmax]

50. Cool!

:hug:

[southlandshari]

47. There is a ray of hope tonight.

And its name is Clint!!!!

I am SO glad to see you here, darlin'!

I'm not sure I've EVER seen you here in the evening hours? What gives? Divine intervention?

;)

[Clintmax]

52. Miss Shari!!!

Hello, hello! :hug: I come in only once in a while in the evenings. But not like in the early mornings. I hope my presence in here tonight CAN be a ray of hope! So good to see you this evening also!

[skoppa]

24. I haven't been a member all that long,

and I don't get a chance to come on all that often. Regardless of that fact, no one has ever treated me badly on DU. I received, and still do, the most sincere welcome from a lot of long time DUers. This is even true of those that obviously have friends and people they are very close to on the DU, which is obvious from the way they talk to each other. So I really don't see what the problem is either, everyone here is awesome!! Just look at some of the threads people start when they are having problems and everybody is willing to give encouraging words and lots of hugs. So why can't we all do the same right now.

:grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug:

See, it's not to hard.

[Mutley]

30. No, it isn't.

:hug: :grouphug:

And a belated welcome to DU! :hi:

[skoppa]

40. Thank you very much!!!

And I truly LOVE it here (when I get a chance to come on).

[Mutley]

44. I love it here, too.

That's why I want to help keep the peace. I feel like this is my second home.

[skoppa]

55. No matter how my day is going...

...the DU is always here to make me smile. :D :D :D

[brainshrub]

57. I used to be a Lounge mod.

Do I get a cookie?

I don't belong to a clique, but my imaginary friends think I'm cool.

:thumbsup:

I'll let you join my clique if you say something nice about my website.

[Mutley]

58. Of course I dig your site!

I advertised it in my sigline for months, remember? I even have it bookmarked in my "good" folder. :D

[brainshrub]

59. You may now join my super-special clique.

It's awesome-super-cool. My clique is so exclusive, it makes the Senate look like public swimming pool.

[nini]

60. I could not care less about cliques

They're signs of weakness in my mind. But, I'm not talking about groups of friends who hang out together. I'm talking about the sense of superiority having this group around them that the members take on and in turn treat others less than decently. I'm always wary of people who get snarky because they have their buddies around. This in addition to the anonymity of the internet add to some issues around here.

I never cared to be part of a group mentality when I was younger or now. This is probably why I have loyal wonderful friends, many from my childhood. The bond was real not based on some bullshit personality contests.

So... if some here perceive some groups here as cliques then they're picking up vibes from them. Some may see it, others may not. Personally, it doesn't really matter because just like in real life we can choose who we want to associate with and ignore those we don't. I can't imagine I would worry about whether or not any group didn't want me around or not like me. I'd rather turn my attention to those that matter to me.

[AussieDave]

62. That's the best way to deal with a "clique" - indifference

Just being oneself is the greatest satisfaction.

[nini]

64. exactly..

I don't have time to worry about if others like me as I have many wonderful people in my life already. Much of this comes with age I think :D

[khashka]

63. It's ridiculous...

We become close to the people who are most like us or who have qualities we admire. This "I'm not special to so and so and his/her friends" argument is bullshit. You can't get close to everyone.

I don't know if I am one of the "popular" people or not and don't care. What matters is that certain people have offered me their friendship and trust.


But If I ever start the "Khashka Clique" (gods forbid!) - you will be part of it. I look forward to the common sense wisdom of your posts.

Khash

[spacelady]

65. I appreciate your warmth and welcome. n/t