My 16 year old was jumped in school today...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

Apparently there was some kind of gang-like vendetta against another blond-haired, Goth-dressing white kid; and not knowing exactly who they were looking for, these guys started beating up all the bond-haired, Goth-dressing white kids they could find. Two other kids were beat up as well.

My son has a sprained finger, a bruised cheek, and a nasty abrasion on the back of his head. Nobody at the school called me; and when I tried to call, 20 minutes after classes had ended, nofuckinbody answered the phone.

I'm so pissed I can't see straight (so you can imagine how my kid feels) and I want to press charges against the bastards, and I don't want my son to go back to that cesspool. But other than homeschool, which my son hated, I'm not sure I really have any options.

:grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr::grr:

[TXlib]

1. Seek legal action against the school

Get a lawyer to send them a nasty letter, and tell them that as long as the perpetrators are dealt with appropriately, you will take no further action.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. My son said he thinks the two that jumped him were expelled...

and the kid they were after was suspended a few days "for his protection".

I don't feel expulsion is enough in a case like this; where they deliberately set out to smack around as many kids as fit the description.

I'm also concerned about what could happen if these guys find my son off school property.

[THUNDER HANDS]

2. well, what can you do?

I got the shit beat out of me every day from second grade to 9th grade.

That's school.

(note - that's not excusing the behavior, but kids WILL get beat up in school, especially if they look different).

[nadinbrzezinski]

6. This is why the attitdue continues

You were a victim of it, (so was I) and we are suposed to take
it?

When I have kids and they go to school, soemthing like this happens
there will be hell to pay

We have zero tolerance for lunch plastic knives but the real
issue are never dealt with?

[THUNDER HANDS]

10. because they CAN'T be

Kids are evil. Inherently.

Especially the popular ones.

You could have all the zero tolerance policies you want. Kids are still going to get the shit beat out of them for looking different.

Nothing is gonna change it because it's human nature, especially for kids and teenagers.

Can you tell I have a lot of repressed childhood issues? :D

[Blue_Chill]

12. It's not about zero tolerance

It's about teachers giving a damn. If they see a kid being bullied they should immediately alert all parents involved and drag them in for a sit down. If this doesn't work then you seperate the jerks or send them to a troubled youth school. This used to be standard procedure.

Now no one does anything until a bullied kid goes crazy and shoots up the school.

[DebJ]

48. teachers do give a damn and do respond WHEN>>>

the kids will open their mouths and tell someone they are being bullied and by whom. My friend is a teacher at an inner city school, the kind with no resources (teachers pay out their own money to photo text books for up to 30 students, among other things..), where the parents are drug addicts, felons, prostitutes....very rough neighborhood. The school started an anti-bully program last year. The major problem is that KIDS WON'T TELL ANYONE WHEN THEY ARE BULLIED AND BY WHOM...fear of reprisals, I think. The school is trying its best to get the kids to speak up with this program. I know about 10 of the teachers at this school, the ones who teach the most difficult kids....and you would not believe the hours and hours and hours they put in every week to do special things for their kids...and to run to Staples to pay for photocopies of learning materials....to volunteer on committees like the antibully committee.
They get no parental support, and no community appreciation. They do it because they are good people who care. I hate hearing people slam teachers.

[JVS]

14. Only when we give the principals iron fists can this stuff be quelled.

[xcentrik]

26. Iron fists won't help

The real tragedy is that many school administrators look the other way at this sort of violence because, well, they approve of it.

[JVS]

59. That is defeatism. The Iron fist will carry the day!

[Bake]

35. You mean like that guy in SC?

Who brought in the cops with guns drawn?

<sigh>

Bake

[LiberalVoice]

8. Ditto

K-9th I got my ass beat everyday...It started out with the administrators trying to something...It got to the point where the dean looked down on me because apparently I was such a wimp.

9th grade five guys jumped me and I couldn't walk for two weeks. The broke my nose cracked my skull and gave me one hell of a contusion. You get on the schools ass until those kids are dealt with right. It wont stop if we continue to allow them to do it.

I think I kinda rabled into a frenzy. Maybe, just a bit.

[MisterP]

13. I never was beat up;

don't just sit back!

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. Call the police now

so they can record all injuries

Also once you go to school tomoorrow wiht a detective in tow

Hopefully

And the threat to sue

The school will have no choice but to pay attention

[commander bunnypants]

4. What Txlib said

Man

DDQM

[WindRavenX]

5. Is transfer an option?

If there are any other schools nearby, look into transfering. It's clear that this school's enviroment is not supportive for your kid.
Good luck, and give your kid a hug!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

27. He had transfer opportunities taken away

He took a knife to school last year because he was afraid of a particular student with whom he'd had a shoving match. It fell from his pocket, and a teacher saw it; so he was expelled.

He had the expulsion rescinded; but they said he couldn't transfer to a school out of his area. Considering this incident, though, I might be able to use the fact that the school didn't call me when he was injured as leverage to get him into some other place.

The only problem is that there is only one decent high school in this county; and I'm not sure that I can get him transferred there because they're so overcrowded.

I wish I could move right now...

[mobuto]

42. Due Process

I would think that if he was denied access to due process, his transfer rights should still exist. You might consult a lawyer.

[henslee]

7. something like this could be very traumatic for a kid....

especially a nice one that was raised "gently". I remmeber when I got mugged as a kid. I would make sure that those kids get the book thrown at them and their parents if pissible contacted.

[Loonman]

9. Learn to fight

I did.

I took a lot of beatings too, but like Henry Hill says, "everybody's got to take a beating some time".

I ran with the death-punk crowd.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

29. Unfortunately,

If he fights back, he'll be automatically expelled because of his history. He was expelled last year for taking a knife to school to protect himself.

Also, these kids jumped him from behind...he didn't expect a blow to the back of his head. The kid they were actually going after is suspended for taking an active role in this and "for his protection".

These guys sound like a street gang to me...I think messing with them can only lead to escalated violence. There's got to be a non-violent solution.

[soleft]

11. My sister is a teacher who's dealt with attacks in school, but also

a Mom too - she never got backed by the priniciple in her old school - I'll ask her for her take.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

30. Thanks...

and thanks to her! :-)

[Blue_Chill]

15. Involve the police and the school

These little monsters are why schools get shot up and if people let it slide then bad things happen.

It wouldn't hurt to send your kid to a self defense class. Most likely if you do he will never need to actually get in a fight and will feel great about himself.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

33. I'm hoping he'll take my suggestion

and take some karate lessons. My impression's been that people who take karate emit such a self-confident appearance that would-be attackers tend to not want to mess with them.

My only concern is that my son's present thought track is focused on revenge. I really want to discourage that.

[Blue_Chill]

40. revenge?

Self defense teaches you to control such emotions. If your son is a level headed individual his anger will fade.

You just have to let him know that everyone gets their ass kicked (every male at least) at least once. And while it is unfair, humiliating, and just plain shitty it's best to get over it or take steps to avoid such conflicts in the future.

One of the best ways to avoid it is self defense. People don't want to mess with you and being that you have confidence in yourself you know when to walk away and avoid a fight.

[Nay]

45. Forget karate. Takes too long to learn useful techniques. Try

KRAV MAGA, Israeli self-defense -- can use the techniques right away.

Oh, and call the cops or go to the police station immediately so they can take photos of your son and take your report. Then get a lawyer. Immediately. Esp. if the school is saying your kid can't fight back or he will be expelled -- WTF?? You need a lawyer very badly.

[Name removed]

16. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[StuckinBuffalo]

18. I had that problem

Used to get my butt kicked almost everyday. My dad got tired of buying me new glasses so he signed me up for taekwondo camp between 4th and 5th grade. First time the moron attacked me after school started I swept his legs and put him in a very painfull joint lock. never had a problem ever again. I started my son in the art last year. he's in 2nd grade now.

[JVS]

20. Yeah. Teach the kid Samoan Bone-crushing Arts

That ought to get kids off his back fast!

[demnan]

23. I was going to suggest something like this

I know a lot of women as well who have signed up for martial arts defense courses. It's sad that it's needed but one thing is for sure, once you start hitting back your chances of being clobbered again diminish.

Welcome to DU, stuckinBuffalo!

[SlavesandBulldozers]

19. 2 things

1)generally the goth kids are pretty well organized, and have a pretty solid hierarchy, all your kid needs to do is consult the head goth/headbanger and have a field day on one of the kids who jumped your son. also, your son should be taught how to fight and take cheap shots/sucker punches at the kids who beat the hell out of him. tell your kid its okay to fight these people, because it is. Revenge is the word of the day, do all that you can to ensure your son has his. Let him know that weapons are not cool, but anything he can do with his fists, elbows and knees is allowed. I encourage you to look into Muy-Thai for a very quickly learnable method of effective self-defense. It emphasizes knee attacks, believe me, your son pulls the Muy Thai clench on one of these kids, nobody will ever f with him again.

2)find out who did it and press charges against them. let the school know you are pressing charges against them as well for inaction.

[ProudGerman]

49. Do you want her son to end up dead?

Because your first suggestion will do exactly that. Vengeance serves nothing. Didn't you notice that vengeance was the reason her son was attacked, the vengeance was misplaced, but it was vengeance nontheless. Beating up one kids will only make that one kid not mess with him anymore...maybe. GoG's son was attacked by a group, he messes with any one of them, and he will get attacked by an even bigger group.

GoG, tomorrow, if you already haven't, press charges. Get with a police officer, and don't let up until they throw the book at these thugs. They should be charged with every stinking law they broke (there's the assault, and at least some conspiracy charges).

Fuck the school and the school board, go straight to the police, and then to a lawyer. Make the school system give you everything you want, and if they don't, let them know they will have a nasty court battle to deal with. Kids getting bullied mercilessly while the school looks the other way is exactly why schools get shot up nowadays. IIRC, nearly every incident of school shootings, the perps were bullied everyday.

[MissMarple]

21. As mentioned above, call the police, a schoolboard member and

the principal. The latter two will have at least e-mail adresses if not phone numbers listed on line at the school's and the district's websights. Also, is there a security number for the district you can call? If you can't move him to another school, you may need to move. Your son is your first responsibility. Many districts here in Colorado have developed alternative schools and charter schools to work with the diversity of students. Some are online, one is at one of the malls. Another alternative might be to have him get his GED and enroll in a community college. Check out your options.

I wish I could wave a wand and make this better. But reality continues to look grim for diversity.

:hug:

[geniph]

22. It'd be interesting to see them try that on my two stepsons

both blond, Goth-dressing white boys - with an aggregate weight of over 500 pounds between the two of them. I think the older boy can bench press 300 pounds. Like to see those punks try it with these two!

Getting attacked by a group sucks so bad. I fought a lot in school, but I was the youngest of 13, so kids my own age were hardly even a challenge. I could defend myself against my much older, larger, meaner siblings, so even being the youngest and smallest in my class didn't matter. You could beat me up if you attacked in a group, but it never was fun for anyone, and no one wanted to repeat the experience. It's always frightening, and makes kids want to avoid school. It should be kept under better control by the school; if they can identify kids who are attacking others, those kids should be tossed out on their keisters.

[StuckinBuffalo]

24. I had that problem

Used to get my butt kicked almost everyday. My dad got tired of buying me new glasses so he signed me up for taekwondo camp between 4th and 5th grade. First time the moron attacked me after school started I swept his legs and put him in a very painfull joint lock. never had a problem ever again. I started my son in the art last year. he's in 2nd grade now.

[cally]

25. First of all major hugs

coming your way. Go off alone and cry it out and then you have to stand up for your child. I know what the 16 year old says, but you, as a parent, need to make a stand for him. It's time to start writing letters and keeping copies. Send a letter to every school board member explaining the attack, the injuries, the facts-not the rumors-that your know, and evidence of the injuries. Send a copy to the local media. your state representatives, and the state education department. Ask how you can be assured your son is protected and allowed to pursue his education without fear. Make the school offer the alternatives.

I watched while my kid was beat up by the daughter of the PTA President. (I couldn't get there in time to stop it.) I watched while nothing happened to the child. I wish I had sent more letters. I know the helplessness you are feeling.

Lecture mode: Make sure your child knows that you think he is brave, handled it well, and let him help writing the letters. He needs to know that you think he is tough, brave, and strong.

[GinaMaria]

28. That behavior is not tolerated

in society and shouldn't be tolerated in schools or our homes. You are dealing with criminals. Either the school aknowledges that or it doesn't. Press charges regardless of the school's response. My guess is This isn't the first time this group of kids has caused trouble or broken the law. This is usually an established pattern. They need to incorporate the consequences of their choices into these patterns. Their behavior will escalate, especially if there are no negative consequences. Unfortunately, they should have been taught this already.

In a few years these jd's will have graduated to criminals and they will be out in the world. Do them a favor. Provide the opportunity for them to confront themselves and make sense out of their choices. Don't deny them the opportunity to grow. They may not learn from this but not because they weren't given the opportunity.

[Character Assassin]

31. Was their race an issue?

What was the color of the perps?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

37. It's not clear...

There doesn't seem to be any evidence that this occurred because of racial differences (the attackers were African-American); but I'm deeply concerned that racial tensions may escalate as a result. Whites are a minority there, as they are elsewhere in the county.

[Heddi]

39. regardless of their race

you need to take them to court for damages.(Medical bills, etc)

Call the police and file a police report against them for assault and battery.

Having been a victim of relentless bullying during my youth, I have come to realize that expulsion/suspension does NOTHING in the way of 'teaching a lesson' to the trash bullies/ass-kickers who rule the schools.

They see expulsion/suspension as being an early vacation. They're not interested in grades, so the fear of not graduating on time, or having to repeat a class doesn't phase them in the least.

Get them where it hurts them (and their parents)--in the pockets, and in the legal system.

I wouldn't be surprised if these youth don't already have priors on their records for violent behaviour. Have them arrested. Call the police NOW. File a report NOW. Take a picture of every imaginable wound your son has from every angle.

Take him to the doctor--get a doctor's report EVEN IF his wounds aren't 'serious'---if you take these kids to court (criminal or civil), a judge will often wonder why you weren't worried enough to have your kid checked out by a Dr, but are 'money grubbing' enough to sue the kids in court. Have a Dr's report JUST TO BACK UP the pictures of the wounds you have.

Document! Document! Document!

The filth that did this to your son need to be punished in every way possible. Considering they have no compassion or concern for human life, and probably have even less for their academic future, you MUST hold them LEGALLY responsible for their actions.

If you don't file a police report, and if you don't hold them financially accountable for their actions, then you're basically telling them "Hey, you can beat the shit out of anyone you want, whenever you want, for whatever reasons you want, and nothing will be done to you."

I'd also talk to a lawyer with regards to why you weren't called by the school after your son was assaulted.

Strange how the school finds the need to call you when he has a knife, but they don't see the urgency of notifying a parent when the shit is beat out of them :shrug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

47. Thank you...

This is excellent advice. I just took a bunch of pictures, and I'll be taking my camera with me to the doctor's office tomorrow, too. :-)

[Heddi]

56. good job! Also, if you can

Ask the doctor to write in his report how your son's injuries are CONSISTENT with injuries caused by physical beating (just so the punks involved can't say that your son hurt himself playing basketball, or skateboarding, or whatever, to try to 'get off' ((not that it would work anyways)))


Did anyone else see this happening to your son? You say that other kids who looked the same (blonde haired goths) were also beaten down by kids associated with the group that assaulted your son---is there any way HE (your son) can either convince those other kids to file charges as well? Or at least if they won't file charges, have them testify, or make a statement to the fact that they, too, were also targeted and assaulted by this group on the same day, and that it was a TARGETED beating -- not radom, as they specificially sought out and beat up kids who had the same physical features (blonde haired goths)

I am so sickened by bullies.

In high-school, my friends were the goths--we were two pegs down from the Nerds, who I thought had it worst. Of course, back in the 90's we weren't called "goths", we were called Head-Bangers or whatever.

Leather Jackets and Long hair ruled our crew, and we were picked on mercilessly.

My school, as well, had a very large racial gap, so the white kids were often targets of the gangs who ruled our school. We had gang-fights on campus weekly, and teachers were often beaten-down along with students.

Nothing was ever done. A friend of mine played electric guitar in a school talent contest. He was the only white performer, and the only one who didn't do a Stomping or Rap routine.

Because he DARED play electric guitar at the talent contest, he was beaten unconscious the next day.

He was routinely beaten up for no other reason than DARING to have long hair and wear a leather jacket.

Of course, NO ONE who was ever beaten up actually DID anything to deserve the beatings. Another friend of mine got two of her front teeth punched into her throat and she nearly choked because she was on the honor role :-/

We all lived our high-school lives in fear. Fear that we would be beaten across the back of the head for no reason. None of us dared to go into the bathrooms by ourselves--had to go in a group of three or four, with one person watching from the outside because beatings in the bathrooms were so rampant.

It was horrible---Not much learning went on when you were afraid to raise your hand for fear of getting the shit beat out of you after class for DARING to ask a question.

And the amazing part, is that reading this, it sounds like I was in an inner-city school. Not so. It wasn't a great neighborhood, but it wasn't the ghetto---

THe teachers and administrators were just as frightened of the gangs as we were. They didn't dare do anything except standard expulsions. Teachers would stand by and watch kids getting beaten, because they knew if they intervened, they'd be beaten too.

Girls and boys were routinely raped and otherwise sexually assaulted on the busses on the way to and from school. Nothing was done. IN the 4 years I spent at that hellhole, 4 girls were raped in bathrooms. Nothing was done...
The day I graduated was the happiest day of my life---I was finally able to LIVE without fear

[GoddessOfGuinness]

60. Oh my god!

What you describe sounds more like a prison than a school!

Where was this?

[myrna minx]

32. I am so sorry this happened to your family.

There is so much hate out there, it makes me want to weep. PLease take care.

[Lady Freedom]

34. I got the tar beat out of me alot!

I also went to school wher the teacher talk of how a kid that she had some diffrence of oppinion got "handled" by some of her "better" studence.

[Maddy McCall]

36. I'm a mother of a son; I would press assault charges against the boys

and give notice to the school that if my son's safety is ever violated again, they will face a lawsuit.

I would also send a letter to the school board putting them on notice.

Can you get a transfer for your son based on this?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

41. I'm livid that they didn't call me!

They asked my son if he wanted to go home, and he said no...he wanted to finish up the day. While I'm happy to let my son make that decision, I feel the school should have called me immediately.
:wtf: Last time I checked, parents were still the legal guardians of kids under the age of 18...

If I can't get him a transfer, I'm going to see about sending him to a school in another county. It'll probably cost around $2,000; but that seems a small price to pay for his sanity.

[Lars39]

51. Did a school nurse check him out?

'Cause if not, they were just going on a juvenile's decision to stay in school. Your input/evaluation as a parent was needed at that point, medically. You should have been informed. Isn't it amazing how this stuff happens, and no one is at the school to answer questions?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

55. She gave him ice for his finger, but

she didn't know about the blow to the back of his head; and I guess she didn't look at his cheek very well. It's pretty swollen...and there's a cut on his other cheek that she didn't treat.

[JohnKleeb]

38. GoG I am sorry to hear that

:hi: I am 16 myself. I would like to send my sympathies and hope you feel betters to your son. I hope the others and your son are ok. I dont have any recommendtion really what to do, in that I havent got beat up ever or in a fight.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

43. You're in VA, aren't you?

We're in Prince Georges County, MD. My husband and I both grew up here, and watched helplessly as the school system deteriorated. The tax cap (TRIM) that people refuse to rescind almost every election insures that the school system is under-funded.

[JohnKleeb]

44. Yes I am in VA

Fairfax County. :shrug: I dont know much about this stuff. Hope your kid is all right. 20 bucks says it was preppy assholes or fucking jocks that did to your son. Sorry to hear that about your school system. As I said, I really have never been targeted, I am not really of any school group, I dress a wee bit preppy but I kinda look like a skater today and other days, and I have friends on all sides. School culture is interesting. I hope your kid is all right, I am lucky I havent gotten targeted yet, I am too quiet heh is why but kids can be assholes lemme tell you.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

61. Fairfax has a good reputation...

I have friends who teach in that system, and wouldn't touch a PG County contract with a 10 foot pole. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a school without problems like this; but I suspect most schools' administrators know how to handle them.

Thanks for your kind concern, John. It made my son feel better to know that there are people like you here, lending support to people they've never seen. :hug:

[DebJ]

50. I graduated from PG County schools in 1973...guns came into the school

the next year. So sad. I got a FANTASTIC education from wonderful dedicated teachers there.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

53. My brother graduated from Northwestern in "73...

Where were you? :-)

[catzies]

46. Very sorry to hear that. I second the responses that say to document

and contact the authorities. Maybe they have some kind of a "gang task force" that should have this information.

I'm glad he'll recover from his injuries. Thank God it wasn't worse.

[DebJ]

52. I am so sorry this happened to my son too....filing charges solved the

problems. My son was over 6' even in 7th grade (6'10" or so now) and was also very large. The tough kids in the neighborhood thought it entertaining to jump a guy who was a big gentle bear and would never fight back. He was jumped twice by a gang of about a dozen very small kids, and once by a young adult in his twenties. We filed charges with police every time and this stopped the problems. And yet, even at age 21, sometimes I worry for him. We were in a Target store one day and two guys were talking about my son. "Who does he think he is being big like that? I'll show him", is what I overheard them saying.

[idontwantaname]

54. im not really helping the situation but...

beating up weird kids is just too much fun.

im sorry to hear about your son...
unfortunately it happens.

some kids are nice and some arent... just let you kid know there is no shame in RUNNING!!!!!... an eye for an eye is only good for hollywood films.
if you want the prejudicial attacks to end have your kid dress more "normal" like magic rat suggested... or transfer him like jchild suggested.

fights because a person looks different doesnt stop when you get older.

[roguevalley]

57. Please read this, honey

Most states have a teaching practices commission with a
statutory listing of things they must do for kids. You
should check the state listings or call your state ed
numbers for the number of this commission. Get their lit
and fill out a complaint.

This will bring outside powers into play. Also document
EVERYTHING that has happened, before and now and after,
and call to make an appointment with a school board
member. You have the right to have your son educated in
a safe environment and they have the duty to make it so.

Talk to the principal and bring a witness. Document
everything. Then go up. Tell them you won't be put off.
Period.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

62. Thank you for this advice!

I will look into the teaching practices commission tomorrow. I'll also contact my school board rep. :hug:

[HEyHEY]

58. Too bad, that really sucks

Well even if they were expelled who cares....honestly either press charges. Or get some payback.