Am I selling out? We're moving to Soccermomland!

[mkregel]

Wife and I are excited - we're buying a 5 bedroom, 3 bath brand new home in San Ramon for around $620K (ouch! I know - the bay area's expensive)

I think its great as does the wife. It's a bigger home, very nice and in a great neighborhood with good schools - high property taxes make it that way (1.6 - you gets what you pays for) but a small part of me is nagging that I'm selling out.

What are your thoughts?

[Kahuna]

1. If you..

can afford a 620K house, some folks would say you sold out a long time ago. Of course, I would never say that. Best of luck in your fabulous new home. :toast:

[DagmarK]

2. Ya know.......I am going to pipe in here...and risk getting flamed.....

But I came from a rather wealthy family. Grew up in the 60's and the 70's.....and out the door on my own in the mid-80s.

What I remember was: we were very privilged. But privilege back then meant that you simply didn't have to go "without"; you didn't have to chooose New shoes vs. new coat upon the coming school year. We got both. A lot of kids in school .....they didn't get anything.

And now I am thinking the generation that came up behind me.......were taught that privilege and money mean you can have everything you need PLUS a ton more. Always more, more, more.

I don't understand it, McKregel. You're a young guy...have 1 wife and 1 newborn. Obviously flush with cash. But FIVE bedrooms? Spending more than a 1/2 mill on a house. I would say.....move to soccermom land.......that's a good thing. Live in a good neighborhood. There are great kids for your kid to grow up with. And moms who stay home.

But must you take up the space that could be used for 10 people? We are talking impact on the earth. Use what you need, and leave the rest for future generations.

If I were in your shoes and had a nagging feeling about this house purchase (and this is just me), I would hope I would have the sense to realize that the nagging feeling was SHAME...shame that I was intending to use FAR MORE of everything than I could ever need.

Are you planning on having 4 kids? If so......get a HUGE ass house now.

But also keep in mind that our economy is showing alarming signs that we are moving into a depression. And our govt is making all the right moves to ENSURE it. You need to consult some history books on who is financially SAFE when the bottom falls out like it's due to fall. A few people kept their style of life......but not many. JP Morgan......those guys.

So, unless you have a huge magnate industry backing you up financially.........BE FRUGAL. Get something nice.....you dont have to live in a 2 bdroom in a crappy part of town.....but make sure that you can make it if you lose your ass financially. You've got a kid to think about now.

How much fuel do you think it will take to heat that house? (you could warm up a lot of bodies in that house for 2 adults and a baby...meanwhile there are whole families who are going to be very, very cold this winter.

And water to keep everything rolling along and the lawn in impeccable condition for your neighbors' approval?


There's my rant. I am just incredulous at some of the posts I have seen on DU today........and I am wondering how we totally trashed that puritanical policy of "Waste Not, Want Not" and totally went to living as "Waste........gee, I will never want, so waste some more."

Sorry.........

I know I am not going to teach you any values that your parents haven't. And I probably sound like I think ALL people should live like poor people. But that's not it. Live as well as you can.......but do it with some moderation and modesty. That comes from character. And it builds character.

[mkregel]

3. Understood

However keep in mind 620K is not an outrageous price in the bay area. Our current home, a decent but small 2 br will sell for 500K. We paid 318K for it - prices have jumped that much.

It is a 5br, but one of those bedrooms is actually the family room (or Den as they are now calling it) These days when you see a new home listed as a 5br, what you see is what you get. It will have 5 br, 3 bath and a kitchen. Maybe a livng room.

The fear is that if we dont buy it now, we will be priced out like we already are in so many places in the bay area (where I live now, in Fremojnt, the same place would command 700K, and in San Jose 740K. Don't even ask about San Francisco)


On edit: as for the lawn there is no lawn practically. You have about five steps until you hit streets. Another fact about bay area homes - they do not have yards. The lot size doesn't differ too much from the home size.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

4. Lucky dog!

I LOVE San Ramon!!! My sister lives in San Leandro, and whenever I visit her we head over there to shop. It's quite gorgeous, and I say if you can afford it, move there by all means.

[DagmarK]

5. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................................nevermind!

I didn't know you were in San Francisco! That's a whole other world. Yes, I am aware of the prices there.......it's INSANE!

Move to Portland........shoot.......for half that you could live like royalty!

Sorry about that.....I was thinking the REAL WORLD (and calif RE is unreal).

I can't believe anyone lives there......I guess the salaries reflect it. I would hope so.

For $620K in Portland, you'd be living pretty close to the head of Intel! I kid you not.

Okay,.........sorry about that mckregel...you're in the market that you are in.....and I didn't know where you were.

[mkregel]

6. I tried and tried and tried to

do Oregon. I'm an Oregon State Grad myself, and the wife is a Duck.

Still...no one wants to hire me. When I got laid off at Apple, I sent out a flurry of resumes to each and every job they offered in the Beaver State. No one called, no one responded. I even gave the address of my In-laws in Eugene on the resume.

I managed to find a job here at home in the bay area tho - one I like much better than the Apple one. Things do work out :)

[DagmarK]

8. Oh yeah.......things do work out.

God wanted you to have a baby and be able to offer shelter and food and comfort. That's the way it works! :-)

You are actually lucky to not be in Oregon. Even if a person has a job......they still suffer terribly about losing it. Our Unemployment rate is like 8.7%......but we know that number doesn't reflect how many people can't get unemployment benefits and who have to work a bunch of minimum wage jobs to pay the mort/rent.

A beaver and a duck got married? Maybe you guys could wage peace here. I am not from here......and the rivalry goes a little far for someone coming in later in life.

Well, good luck. If that's the price that you ahve to pay to have a basic house......go for it.........and enjoy it. You're supposed to be nervous .....if you weren't, you'd be in denial.

[Ellen Forradalom]

7. SF real estate is INSANE

You can't contemplate buying for less than a half million. Here in Chicago we got a nice four-bedroom condo for $235K.

San Francisco reported a population decline of 12,000 in the last year. I hope that relieves pressure on prices.

[DagmarK]

9. It is just nuts! the prices are unfathomable........

Hence, I thought he was buying a MANSION on rich man's drive.............

[Lydia Leftcoast]

10. My one question is

Is this an environment that will force you to drive everywhere? Can you walk to the store? Will you child(ren) be able to walk to school? Is there transit nearby? Or will you be spending hours a day in the car, not only inflicting the death of a thousand cuts on your physical and mental health, but also polluting the atmosphere unnecessarily?

How about a smaller house (3 bathrooms for how many people who are out of diapers?) in a more convenient neighborhood?

[mkregel]

11. Well

The commute won't be worse...it will only be 40 minutes (I work strange hours) The plan is to buy a Prius soon so that won't pollute. As it is I have a Saturn which actually has a decent Environmental record and still gets around 28-30 mpg.

Nate (my offspring) will be able to walk to a brand new school they are building...and will be able to walk to the Jr. High and High school they are building right now too. This is a new housing development with the schools being the focus of the community. It's a nice place, very pleasant with all new homes and young families.

The downside is that it is soccermomland. Everywhere are CRV's and Minivans. We are leaving Fremont, which is about the most diverse city on earth (eat your heart out San Francisco!) and i like Fremont, but there are no young families in my area and the schools and services have been gutted in this area. Too many retirees don't want to pass school bonds or raise property taxes.

[inthecorneroverhere]

17. my opinion

You are paying a truly outrageous price for a house and you are also worsening the divide between the young and the old in this country.

[Cocoa]

12. very crass

but I guess what's the point in having a 600k house if you can't brag about it?

:shrug:

[Kenneth ken]

13. my $.02

I would guess most every parent wants to provide the best environment for their children to grow up in. That's not selling out. The harder thing is to properly define "best."

From your subsequent post, it does sound like you're making a good choice in terms of schools, so I can't fault that. I will also guess you have some concern about losing the growth experience a diverse neighborhood would provide for your child(ren.) Like everything in life, there are tradeoffs.

It sounds like a new neighborhood, so maybe it will gain a lot of diversity in the next ten years; maybe not.

You make the best choices you can on the available facts, and go from there.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[Zorro]

14. Way to go

If you got a home in San Ramon for only $620K, you've done well.

I know it's not easy for people living elsewhere other than California to understand, but out here in the high-rent areas (LA, SD, SF, SJ, etc.) that kind of price is pretty common.

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. I completely understand the prices out there, my brother has a home in

Silver Lake (LA area) that he got for a steal for $700,000. This is the reason why I think my brothers are stupid. Hahaha I say that nicely...Compare...

Me
Detroit-Northern suburb of

Him
LA-Northern suburb of

Me

Brick,3 bdr, 2 bath,garage,basement, sidewalks, 1200 s.f.

Him

Clapboard,2bdr,1bath,garage,no basement,no sidewalks(only hills, hills and more hills, 800 s.f.

I paid $125,000 4 years ago

He paid $700,000

Too bad they can't have mortgage controls out in California, because it's outrageous.

On a positive side, their groceries are cheaper. We're paying out the nose for everything these days...even cherries for God's sake

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. Lord NO! You are not selling out!

Just live your life, take care of your family and try to do good works! Don't worry about all that shit. You aren't helping anyone by making sure you suffer!

[KCDem]

16. several points, hope I make sense.

First of all, congrats on the purchase. My sis lives in the area (Foster City, but before that, Berkeley and Albany), and it took them over 2 years to buy a house due to the crazy way ya'll do it out there (house goes on the market at 500, within hours, receives 10 bids, all over 500, they choose the highest). They are hardly wealthy, but they've got more money tied up in that house than is decent.

Second random point: are you at all worried that the housing prices are eventually going to bottom out? That's my big worry for my sis. They spent a shitload on that house, and I'm worried that they are going to get screwed come selling time. Oh well, I guess you really _can't_ worry about that, right? There's enough to worry about in the world.

Third point: my husband and I are sorta looking at houses. We had one before we moved to TX. Currently, several factors (ambivalance, etc.) are keeping us from buying one yet. But I've looked at neighborhoods. There's one that's _really_ nice--large homes, decent lots (like CA, lots here tend to be small--which, IMO, is a good thing), older so there are trees, etc. But, it's next door to a trailer park. Houston doesn't have any zoning ordinances, I guess, so you can have a mansion next to a Hardees. Part of me wonders... well, when my kids are in HS, and we live next to a trailer park, they might be exposed to all sorts of BAD things ( :smoke: :beer: ), you know, things i've never tried :evilgrin: . But, according to stats I read, the 'burbs have the _serious_ drug problems... heroin, cocaine, etc. Those things scare me. So, when it comes down to it, I think I'd rather have my kids in a mix of poor/middle class/rich, black/hispanic/white/asian, than in an area where it's all upper-middle-class whiteys. JMO.

So, is your wife SAH now? Be good to her, it's not exactly a walk in the park. Speaking from 4 years' experience. :hi: She needs lots of respect, lots of adult conversation, and plenty of time off.

[mkregel]

19. She'll be a SAHM until November

when she goes back to work. That begins the next nightmare, daycare. At least work lets us do flex spending for that.

This move + baby + day care might drive us insane - oh wait, too late for that. We're already there!

As it is our real estate guy reccomends that we sell in August, rent for 2-3 months and then move in in January when the house is built.

Funnnnn... I love living out of luggage!