Advice for lovers and spouses

[khashka]

My ex-wife did this.... and for more than twenty years it's been special. She made a set of flash cards and on each one was a reason she loved me.

It's a great idea... if you love someone do the same.


Khash.

[RetroLounge]

1. Nice idea

RL

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. What a terrific idea...my dear Khash......

You have such a great head on your shoulders, you know that, right?

You DO.......

I am going to do this.......



:loveya: :hug:

[tjwmason]

3. I'm waiting......

:P

[khashka]

18. You should be so lucky!

But how can I deny you anything?


1. You make me feel good when I feel at my worst.
2. Although I've said it before, you never cease to amaze me and I admire you for that.
3. You are so damn gorgeous (OK that doesn't count, you can't help it)
4. I can say anything to you and even if you get pissed off - you'll forgive me and try to understand.(Eventually)
5. You understand my rather ugly sense of humour.
6. You go out of your way to share the things you enjoy with me so I can enjoy them too.
7. You actually read my posts and have entertained me with many explanations or related topics about what I mentioned.
8. I'm not stroking your ego any more, boyo :) At least not in this post....


Khash.

[WCGreen]

4. Aw, that's cute.....

[supernova]

5. That's sweet

It would be nice to have some one do that for me, or someone I can do that for.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. yes it would

:(

[GCP]

6. So what happened?

Why is she your ex-wife? :shrug:

[khashka]

7. Long story, but here's the short version:

I'm gay, she's bi. Still we fell in love.
We decided if by age 35 if we weren't in committed relationships, we'd marry and have a family.

Didn't work out that way, she got pregnant by some yahoo who ran as far as he could, I "made" her marry me. She miscarried. (That was rough. And we were very young.)

Both of us are polyamorous - she married another two men with my total agreement. Plus we all shared the same girlfriend. Mary and I had a daughter. Husband #2 decided he didn't like the arrangement after several years. Mary and I divorced to attempt to avoid legal problems for her (after all she was the bigamist).

It got ugly. Husband #3 was Irish with appropriate citizenship - when things started to get really, really ugly (thanks to husband 2 and the law), they moved to Ireland, suddenly, with my daughter. That was OK. It kept my wife (now ex) out of jail and they couldn't take the kid away. And Marc was/is a great Dad. I can't fault him on anything (except he's a communist and I'm a Libertarian - but it made for great discussions!).

But Mary and I have never quit loving each other or feeling the same things we've always felt.....

Odd and complicated, I know. But we got fucked by the law and one man we misjudged. I know that our situation isn't everyone's cup of tea. But it worked for the five of us adults and gave our kids someone who was always there for them. (Well, in the end, 4 of the adults.)

I still abide by the philosophy that resulted in our family. But one angry possessive man and the law interfered. I call her my exwife (legally she is), in my heart nothing will ever stop her being my wife - unless she decides not to be....


And that was the short version!

Khash.

[Shell Beau]

8. Write a book! Seriously, you sound as if you have

a very interesting life. But the idea about the cards sounds like a wonderful thing to do. I might just get busy making some!! :)


:hi:

[khashka]

10. I am writing a book....

Although I was recently told my life was not "interesting" but "a soap opera". True, but it has been unusual (but then if you are honest with yourself so has everybody's.)


Definitely do the flash cards - but include the nonobvious things!

"kind", "understanding", etc. Well, duh! What is unique to that person that makes them stand out from all the other nice decent lovable people?


Khash.

[WCGreen]

9. Write a book.......

I would read it.......

[khashka]

11. You don't fool me!

You just wanna read the dirty parts - like having sex with older women in public when I was a teenager.


Bad, Chris!


Khash.

[WCGreen]

12. Been there... Done that........

[swimboy]

13. Hey, Khash--

I have a friend from school whose marriage is ending in similar circumstances. They really care for each other and knew everything honestly going into it, just came a time that things needed to be addressed in a different way. I hope they can stay as happy with each other as you and Mary have. :hug: :loveya:

[HEAVYHEART]

14. Great idea indeed!

I think I might do this on valentine's day. Thanks!!! :bounce:

[khashka]

17. Don't wait 'til then

Do it now! A Valentine gift is a gift..... but a gift of love for no reason at all - priceless.

You expect something nice on Valentine's Day..... but on a random Wednesday (or any other day of the week) - it just makes it so much more special. Especially if he or she finds it randomly - dropped into his briefcase, stuffed in her purse. (You can figure out other random places!).


Just a random expression of love and appreciation - something tangible, your words and thoughts, that they can keep. No reason is the best reason of all....


Khash

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. thats sweet

[bliss_eternal]

19. Today's my wedding anniversary--thank you

for the great idea!!!

I needed something else to go with my gift! :hi:

[av8rdave]

20. What a great idea...I did something similar

On my wife's 40th, I gave her a journal with 40 entries....each a reason I love her. Every birthday, I add one.

av8rdave

[Pale Blue Dot]

21. Ah... I got it now.

I'll need a big deck. :loveya:

[SarahB]

22. But your deck is perfectly sized!

:evilgrin:


I am so sorry, but I couldn't resist that one!

[Pale Blue Dot]

23. !!

:rofl::spank::loveya: