*sigh*... girls :/

[rockymountaindem]

Why do you ladies have to be so durn confusin' all the time?

So, there's this girl I might be interested in. Everybody I know says she's nice. I saw her at this party I was working at, and she asked me to dance (she had to ask because I was just standing there working, i.e. making sure nobody was passed out or doing anything untoward). That was nice. Today, I saw her in the dining hall and she talked to me while I was getting some chocolate milk. Then I sat down with her and her friends and she proceeded to ignore me. That's where the :/ comes from. When she left, she didn't even say goodbye to me.

What's up with that?

[WCGreen]

1. Get use to it.......

[LaraMN]

4. Uh-oh. Somebody's bummin'.

What's up? :hi:

[WCGreen]

11. Not as bad as the other night......

But I have found that women change their minds about relationships, possible or even on going, at the drop of a dime....

For this I am talking about back when I was actively dating.....

Looking back on a few of my, ah hem, "adventures", I can't figure out what I did or said that changed things so drastically.... And almost always with no explaination....

So I'm left standing there wondering what the fuck did I do....

And how am I suppose to learn what the fuck I did if no one will tell me what the fuck I did....

Obviously the lad in question is in college.... So he is apt to experience this more and more in the coming years....

Now that I am "Married", I have far too much information about what I did or didn't do.....

So how are you?

[LaraMN]

18. Eh, same old, same old..

But I bought a new jacket today and was quite excited about that. We went out for chinese tomight with my crazy Grandparents and my folks. Any day I get fried rice and an egg roll is a day worth waking up for. So how many years did it take you to figure out that if someone compliments your wife in front of you and solicits an agreeable response, you shouldn't give a half assed, "uh-huh." ??? I obviously don't have him trained nearly well enough.:spank:

[WCGreen]

21. Damn, that boy needs some social skills......

Even when I was dating, and I was having a horrible evening, if someone complimented my date, I would agree and take note....

That use to drive some people I was with wild as I would be so nice in public and then when we were alone.....

I would always act the gentleman in public.....

[LaraMN]

24. Yeah, he's just slackin' because I'm old-hat.

He never fails to pass on rude comments from his coworkers about my physical appearance, because he thinks he's just a big stud when "the guys" talk about me, but when it's a gal, well, that's not even worth acknowledging. It's all about the ego. Maybe I'll wear sweatpants and neglect my hygiene for a week or so, just to be extra-specially appealing. If I can get a laugh out of it, then I'm even.
:rofl:

[WCGreen]

26. Don't shave... And then come after him with stubble.....

[LaraMN]

27. I don't think he'd mind that.

He's not all that picky in that regard. :rofl:

[WCGreen]

28. The stubble gets me.... either shave or don't shave is my

motto.... that other stuff gives a guy razor burns....

And then we talk funny the next day while it heals.....

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

48. You sound like a great man.

It doesn't sound like either of us deserve what we've been through lately. And I'll agree with your assessment above regarding women.

[WCGreen]

86. It does get better the older ya get.....

[LaraMN]

2. Did she have some booze in her at the party?

She might be too intimidated to talk to you at length.:shrug:

[rockymountaindem]

6. Pfft, no =)

Nobody was drinking. That's what happens when the bar tries to charge $5 for watered down drinks in a plastic cup. Not to laugh at you, but I thought it was funny that the second post brought up what was basically the worst aspect of that party.

Were you there?

[LaraMN]

22. Pretty sure I was not there.

Pretty sure I.....well crap, I can't even remember what I did last night, but I know I didn't go anywhere. I think I went to the grocery store. Do you think that gal was ignoring you because her friends were there? Maybe she didn't want them to witness her discourse with you. Maybe she thought they would tease her and sing that "kissin' in a tree" song. :P

[aquaman]

3. I am glad I am married....

I don't have to deal with that stuff anymore.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

12. People who are having problems in their marriage ahould go

out and be single for about six months ......

[GreenPartyVoter]

61. So as to realize that they had it so good before?

[JVS]

5. Some people have no manners.

Now I'm going to sit back and watch the flamewar erupt.

:popcorn:

[rockymountaindem]

7. That's why I post these late at night.

Most of the flame-warriors have gone to bed. Or so I hope...

[JVS]

8. Did you regale her with tales of Quiz-bowl prowess?

I miss those days. Want to start a trash team for Ann B. Davis at UofM on MLK weekend?

[rockymountaindem]

10. No, I didn't get a chance to get those in.

I was trying to set up a tennis match with some of her friends.

Besides, people here don't seem that interested with my awesome stories about how I dominated at trivia bowl in high school. I don't know why... I mean, I think they're fascinating. As for tht trash team, I don't think I'm going to make it back down to the States for MLK weekend. I'll ask some other people if they're interested in traveling.

[radwriter0555]

9. She LIKES you and doesn't know if you like her. Ask her out for a coffee

so you can get to know each other.

She likes you.

[Guaranteed]

13. Find a prettier girl and parade that one around in front of her.

That'll teach her to play this stupid game.

[JVS]

14. BEST ADVICE EVER!

[rockymountaindem]

15. Ha ha ha!!!

Agreed, that is some pretty fantastic advice. Problem is, I'd have the same problems trying to get the other girl! And then, once I have her, what's the point?

[Guaranteed]

16. Just play them off each other. Doesn't

have to be anything official, or even physical. Just need the impression.

Light a fire under both of their asses...then...heh...

And, of course, play it off as if #1 is nothing when questioned about her by #2...

[WCGreen]

30. Buy a hooker for an hour or two,,,,,

[tainowarrior]

65. hahahah...

that's funny, just for the sake of it, but if you've got a prettier girl, who needs the original one? :)

[JVS]

72. Basic maxim of economics: more is better.

[tainowarrior]

hmm...yeah, i guess I can agree with that..

This last weekend I scheduled two "meetups" with potentially "sexual" women on the same date. Figured I'd go with the first one that showed more interest.

Now, it would have worked good, if BOTH of them didn't stand me up (was heated that day). I promptly leave voice mails on BOTH of their cellphones about how disrespectful that was, and have resolved not to go out with them again.

I've moved on.

[johnnie]

17. That's called "The Game"

It doesn't change as you get older either, it is just people playing the romance game. Anyone who says they don't play the game is a liar.

Of course I am still single, so maybe I am not the best person to answer the question. I think she likes you, but you didn't get the hint right off the bat and she is waiting for you to make the next move.

[tainowarrior]

66. or worse,

she thought there might be something, you didn't really turn her on, and she already moved on.

Don't worry about it. My advice, Move on to the next. It really is a numbers game. For every 100 women you meet, there's maybe 3-4 that will be in to you AND in the mood for a relationship AND not having personal problems that prevent them from feeling ready AND that you are compatible with and like from your end.

I went out with two women in the last two weeks. The first acted half-shady, half interested. We went on a dinner date, she chose a VERY expensive restaurant (by the way, a curse on all you wallet-sucking women!), and then, ended the night with a kiss on the cheek, and nothing more. No interest shown, no call the next few days, not even an email. I moved on, and I don't talk to her. Then I met another girl and she showed interest, but then would repeatedly stand me up, either by phone or in person. The last straw was her agreeing to see me at a mall at 5:00 and not showing up. It's over with her.

No matter how pretty the girl, there's always a prettier one, and there's no need to stand for bullshit, whether it be religious, attitude, body type, etc. Don't settle, there's no need to. There's enough girls out there for everyone.

My two best advice

1) Be yourself, Be Confident in your skin - enjoy your days by yourself. People enjoying themselves attract others who want to know why they are so happy and sunny.

2) Replace the attitude of "scarcity" with one of "abundance". Most men think that they need to go all out to prove to women how good they are because they fear losing a "chance" with X woman. Or they fear they won't get more chances with others. Or they overthink it. Replace that fear of scarcity with a feeling of abundance. Literally, "oh, you don't think I'm worthy of you...BYE. NEXT!"

[Wapsie B]

19. It's part of the games people play in relationships.

People just can't play it straight up. Believe me I've tried.

Ladder Theory anyone?

[Omphaloskepsis]

20. Try telling her how you feel.

You might not like the answer. At least you will know.

[tainowarrior]

67. if you straight out tell a woman how you feel

she'll get bored with you quick.

Telling a woman how you feel is good for a relationship that already cemented. That's why there with you, because they chose to hear such beautiful things from you.

If you do it too quick, that will be a turnoff.

My advice, be cool, be confident around her. If she don't notice, move on. It probably means she wasn't into you and you can't force it.

Remember, Attitude of Abundance, not an attitude of scarcity.

[mac56]

79. I agree. Women are attracted to confidence.

Fake it till you make it. If you can fake confidence, you've got confidence.

If she comes across in that kind of manner again: her loss, dude.

Years of experience talking here.

[alittlelark]

23. How old are you two?

How 'mature' is she. It sounds like HS. If it is I mean no offense - it's just a different paradigm to work with.

[ofrfxsk]

25. Have you ever thought that she might be shy?

She might not have wanted to make a production in front of her friends.
Why not meet up with her after the last class of the day and talk alone minus the friends? Invite her somewhere without her buddies. Just you two. Get to know eachother that way. Coffee or drinks or a hike in the woods. Anywhere outside of the college environment.

We're not all bitches, ya know. Most of us are quite nice people if you actually get to know us.

Give her a chance.

[wildhorses]

29. this is known as "The Dance"

She likes you but, she was embarrassed because of her friends...shallow, possibly. If you are really interested then try approaching her when she is not with her friends.

[SarahB]

31. She's immature or too insecrure.

Mature, secure people don't make people guess. They just say it, do it, or whatever. She doesn't know what she wants. Move on to greener pastures.

[NuttyFluffers]

32. easy. you moved too fast.

if i did the same thing to you, you'd be weirded out.

imagine if you saw me at a party, working, but pretty solitary. you ask me to dance to liven me up. think you did a good deed. don't know me from adam, still.

see me again at the lunch counter getting a drink. offer small talk. cementing casual acquaintence status. nothing big. i have my space, you have yours.

then after getting my drink i sit next to you and your friends. just out of the blue, no permission or anything. kind of invasion of space isn't it?

guys are the exact same way. the unknown "other" that moves too fast into the "in" group gets the "treatment". you gotta get permission first. best way to do that is wait outside for invitation and don't look or act so desperate.

don't do it again. if she does talk to you again, bring it up and say your sorry, even if you're not. she'll say "oh no, you did nothing wrong, i hope i didn't make you feel uncomfortable..." in an effort to not embarrass you further but she'll mean, "damn straight, what were you thinking. be more savvy from now on. you could be dangerous for all i know."

[tainowarrior]

68. i think nutty has it right on the money..

i've been self-criticizing myself for a "failure" with one girl who continues to stand me up, and I think it's probably because ever since she came to my office, I've been emailing her to go to lunch together (we have for the past 2 days). I probably "overwhelmed her", and that's why she stands me up. I ignored my own rules about giving women space and waiting for them to call because, surprise, I was lonely and I kinda fell for her.

Ease back. If someone wants you, they'll come for you. You're obviously into her, no? What do you do when are into someone? You go for them. Wait until she shows up.

[Book Lover]

33. One small piece of advice

If you want to date a woman, dump the "girl" moniker. The mental change will work wonders.

[kitten29]

37. agree !!!

:applause:

[Arugula Latte]

55. Welcome to DU, Kitten29!

:hi: :toast:

P.S. Love them kitties!

[kitten29]

57. i can't love em enough

i love furballs !!! :applause:

[tainowarrior]

84. i got a black 3 month kitten myself

I picked her up as a stray in New York, on a trip to New York City. Found her in the parking lot of a Subway Sandwich restaurant. Couldn't leave her there miauwing alone. Took her home.

Now she is Cleopatra...BLACK QUEEN OF MY HOUSE.

[rockymountaindem]

40. Well, you should understand something

When you're in college, "woman" means people your mom's and professors' age. Nobody, and I mean nobody uses "woman" in this context. Even the girls I'm friends with would say "you should go out and find a girl". It's just a contextual thing.

[Book Lover]

53. I make college textbooks

I'm on campus fairly often. I understand too well your position.

on edit: ever think of calling yourself a man?

[Name removed]

59. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Book Lover]

63. My goodness, we *are* immature, aren't we?

LMAO. The meaning was clear: grow up. That you didn't understand that make me laugh.

[Name removed]

93. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[tainowarrior]

69. depends on what he's after...

if he's after a short-term good time, a "girl" will be fun.

If he's after a long-term commitment, complete with life sacrifices, then a "woman" is good.

Sometimes men don't want a "woman" (and I've had two "women" in my life, both who were positively and negatively fulfilling).

In my particular case, I've made a choice not to be in a committed relationship...so I'm looking for girls. I'm looking for girls I can joke with, have a semi-stable dating relationship, the occassional stay over "have some fun in bed, and then watch TV" events, but always a distance." Some females are also in that mood. So, those that are, can come to me. Those that aren't, can go for the more "matured" men who want to have kids and a stable relationship.

There's no right or wrong. Choose what you want, and only accept those "girls" or "women" who fit the profile.

My personal opinion is that most men know what they want and are honest about it, and women say they want the nice guy, but want the bad guy. I learned that early on in high school. Nice guys finish last. Do you have to be an ass? No. Be chivalrous. But, don't give women any attention. If they want you, they'll come for you. Chasing them is a waste of time and boosts their egos, not yours.

[Pharlo]

34. "So, there's this girl I might be interested in."

Are you certain you're not giving out mixed signals yourself?

Maybe you're not the only one who's confused at this stage.

[OneGrassRoot]

35. Hi Guy......you're not alone in your confusion

At every age this dating "dance" sucks completely. Well, for many of us at least....I guess some are fortunate enough to enjoy the process....:)

Who knows why people do what they do? As long as you are always honest (and, most importantly, honest with yourself), you should be able to sleep well at night....albeit sometimes alone....:-(

I posted a similar question/musing myself this morning - "Where's My Happy Medium Guy"......*big sighs*

Good luck to ya.......;-)

[kitten29]

36. oh please

i've been married 23 years, this is par for the course... when i comes to ladies i love em but i give em a ........w i d e ...... berth... i haven't a clue why one minute mama's a queen then the next she's a monster from the lagoon... i just know that when they behave in an unexpected manner it's us guys who caused the dilemma... :dilemma:

i still love her to death even though the weather can change in an instant!!!

hang in there, your young and there's oh so many fish in the sea...

[tainowarrior]

83. sounds like you're one fish trying to jump out of that fishbowl...

come in to the sea. The water's nice!

[kitten29]

95. well

we've two in college and we're bleeeding money... in addition, mama worries so, more so then she should... i've a tough hide, i can handle the abuse... after all when we make-up WOW !!! thanks for the invite but i hooked a trophy !!! :hi:

[cassiepriam]

38. Cross her off your list. She is not interested in you.

Find someone else.

[henslee]

39. First off, be wary of advice from the women of DU. They are not always on

our side. Second... What do you mean she HAD to ask you to dance? This I do not believe. She likes you. Third, you being smitten is not a good thing -- we are never our best tripping over ourselves. My advice. Don't try so hard, let the game come to you. Be friendly but a bit aloof. Have plenty of other shit going on. Warning -- IF YOU GO ON A DATE, DO NOT SPEND RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF MONEY. This is a recipe for disaster and an often made mistake by smitten men. Most of all... LISTEN to her. It's been my experience that once you get a girl talking -- BLAH... BLAH-BLAH- BLAH-BLAH, they are yours. Unfortunately, they often end up running your life.

[Tallison]

42. What does "your side" represent?

If I'm supposed to have a "side" here, maybe defining yours will help me identify my own. :shrug:

[henslee]

44. Don't you try and confuse me with tough to answer questions.

Not gonna work this time.

[Tallison]

47. Then avoid posts you can't back up

if that's simpler for you.

If you choose to reconsider, I'm all cyber ears. :hi:

[tainowarrior]

i loved the last part...

running your life..gold!

hahah.

I agree, be yourself, don't pay a lot of attention to her, and be cool in your own hide.

A man who is busy with his things is a man that attracts women. Think about it...would you date the nerdy girl whose only friend is a cat (i'm gonna get it from females with cats now,,,hahahah...I got a cat too girls, don't kill me!), or do you go for the women who is the center of attention. Most often the not, the latter. Same works for women.

Don't take her to dinner dates. Paying money to buy food for her just shows you're just like the rest of them (worshipping her at the altar of the Goddess). Instead, invite her to a cofeeshop you frequent ANYWAY, or if you're an artist or musician, to one of your performances. The point is that you were gonna do it anyway, and she's invited, but NOT necessary.

Ignore the DU female advice about being nice and gentlemanly. Nice guys become the guys that are the "friends". you know, the ones that get to hear female friends complain about how X guy didn't turn out how they wanted them. I used to end up like that a lot (still have a few girls like that), but I never allow women I'm interested in to use me as the "emotional dump" guy.

[JVS]

81. What if you don't go to coffeeshops, but prefer bars?

Is it permissable to take women to dates at the bar?

I've done that a few times and it was fun!

[tainowarrior]

71. i loved the last part...

running your life..gold!

hahah.

I agree, be yourself, don't pay a lot of attention to her, and be cool in your own hide.

A man who is busy with his things is a man that attracts women. Think about it...would you date the nerdy girl whose only friend is a cat (i'm gonna get it from females with cats now,,,hahahah...I got a cat too girls, don't kill me!), or do you go for the women who is the center of attention. Most often the not, the latter. Same works for women.

Don't take her to dinner dates. Paying money to buy food for her just shows you're just like the rest of them (worshipping her at the altar of the Goddess). Instead, invite her to a cofeeshop you frequent ANYWAY, or if you're an artist or musician, to one of your performances. The point is that you were gonna do it anyway, and she's invited, but NOT necessary.

Ignore the DU female advice about being nice and gentlemanly. Nice guys become the guys that are the "friends". you know, the ones that get to hear female friends complain about how X guy didn't turn out how they wanted them. I used to end up like that a lot (still have a few girls like that), but I never allow women I'm interested in to use me as the "emotional dump" guy.

[Tallison]

41. I don't know, try referring to her as a "Woman" next time

:shrug:

On edit: For anyone who considers this distinction a petty one, "girl" to me dennotes a female who has not yet reached sexual maturity and for whom adult guidance and supervision is more appropriate than the companionship of a lover.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

43. how old are you and the girl?

[rockymountaindem]

45. She's 19 and I'm 18.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

46. aah! teenagers...they are all screwy

[radwriter0555]

49. SHE. LIKES. YOU. AND. IS. NERVOUS. TOO.

Tell her she's really sweet and you want to get to know her better.

It really doesn't have to be this hard.

[hippywife]

60. I agree with this approach.

About 25 years ago, I did almost the same thing this girl did. A guy I worked with asked me to go see fireworks with him and another couple of people we worked with. When we got there, it was like a date for him and I wasn't aware that was what he was thinking when he asked me so I kind of kept my distance the whole evening because it caught me off guard. I still feel bad about it to this day because he was a really sweet guy. Give her another chance.

[tainowarrior]

73. but wait,

you say you regret it NOW (sympathy for the guy), but ended up not giving him your time.

Being the nice guy gets you sympathy/friendzone.

Being the confident, in control guy gets you attraction.

And being confident doesn't mean arrogant or unchivalrous. It just means women don't dominate you and you don't live to worship them. Most men make that mistake. They bend their usual life routines to fit the woman, and end up either being the Boy Toy, Wallet Boy, or Emotional Dump Boy.

You don't want to be those. you want to be "I can't explain it, but I want to be around him" boy.

It's complicated, but basically, be yourself, be confortable in yourself, do your own things, and when you invite people to be around you, it's when you got things to do, not bending to them.

[mac56]

85. So true.

It doesn't mean he should be a prick. It means he should be confident and secure. When a woman falls for a prick, it's often because he's confident and secure in his prickiness. That's what they're attracted to. Then they find out about the prickiness after the fact, and THEN they complain about it to the guys in their friendzone.

[tainowarrior]

88. but still end up f*#cking them

Oh, they'll complain to the friend, but, as long as the guys not overly abusive emotionally or physically, they'll overlook it.

The day I stopped listening to what women said, is the day I figured them out.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that women are second class citizens or that they should be treated unequally. I just don't listen to what they say they want in a man. They all want the same: a confident man which has something going for them, either work, passion, etc. Just something. And usually being funny/conversation is good too.

Men also. Men want a woman who will turn them on sexually, and who is loving/caring to them.

On the real, most men are honest about what they want. Women usually hide it with "I wish he was sweet", "I wish he could do this, or do that". Ever wondered why all the women you wanted ended up with the worse guy for them? Right. Because bad guys don't care about anyone else, and that's what attracted them initially. Later, the fact that's he a bad guy may not keep them.

Be the bad guy to get them, and once you got them, be the good guy to keep them.

[mac56]

89. My best friend used to lament

about all the women he knew who were involved with asshole guys. His question: how come asshole guys get dates in the first place? Not to mention relationships? The women who lament what kinds of pricks their men are said "yes" to them IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[hippywife]

90. What I'm saying is that it seemed to me at the time

that he was wanting too much too fast. We worked at the same place and had friends in common but little interaction prior to that evening we went to the fireworks with other co-workers. I thought it was just a going out with the gang from work thing but he had other ideas. Had we known each other a little better, it might have been different.

I'm just saying that maybe that's what her thinking is because they had no interaction at all before the dancing thing.

[tainowarrior]

92. ohh..

well yeah, I'd agree to that. Women, are like cats, in that sense. You can't spring some new toy or environment on them. You have to acclimate them to it first.

However, if you try to "acclimate" a woman to your presence, she'll get the hint, and either feel you're going to fast or if she's not into you, push you away. Best way is to acclimate h er to your presence by doing what you regularly, by enticing her unconsciously to want to be around you because what you do is exciting and who you are on your own is exciting to her.

The two girlfriends that I had the best luck with both claimed that what attracted them to me was

1) My "the devil may care" attitude toward life, and cocky sense of humor.

2) My intelligence. I've got advanced degrees in Political Science, and know a lot from regular reading on my own.

3) to a lesser extent, my music (I perform regularly).

Basically, I was a guy with things going for him, smart, funny, and confident. That's the greatest formula you can have (well, building yourself physically might help too).

If you look physically good (not arnold schwartzenneger, think Tyrese), you'll attract them initially. If you're cocky, funny, confident, you'll attract in the short-term, and if you got something of more substance to yourself, you'll KEEP them after you got them. The trick is not to use your "KEEP" tactics at the beginning. Let your good body get their eyes, let your confidence and smarts make them go "hey, this guys' different than the others", and then, once they're into you, start letting them know of your artistic, intellectual, cultural, etc. pursuits. That will cement in their eyes that they got a guy that's not your regular bum from the street.

[hippywife]

94. Maybe that works on the really young ones...

you know, future ex-wives types, but not as women get a little older and smarter. Since 18, I've had 3 marriage proposals and one 'let's just live together' thing. The only one I took seriously was the last one and was 38 when I got married. Don't have a clue what kept me from accepting the others except for maybe some good sense I didn't even know I had then and listening to my own gut reactions. Looking back, they were some really smart decisions. At any rate, as we mature, the pure physical is less important than many other factors such as who a man really is and how he treats us.

Bumpy road ahead? I hope not. Both sexes make alot of mistakes in the beginning stages. It helps to hang on for the real thing. The one that makes you feel so comfortable you wonder why you messed around with the others to begin with.

Oh, and MEOW! ;)

[Graf Orlok]

50. I find it immature when a girl/woman plays that game.

If they ever do that to me, I'm turned-off and I usually pursue someone else.

I'm not one to play games. If you can't be direct with me, then bugger off.

[tainowarrior]

74. thank you...

i'm the same way. So many women out there who claim they want something, but really want something else.

No time for them.

[Nikia]

51. She might not be the most extroverted person herself

When I am meeting someone new on any level, I prefer to meet them one on one unless one of my friend knows the person already and makes an effort to help us get to know each other or if I am in a group where everyone is participating in a conversation that I am intersted in. I would have a hard time talking to someone who I barely knew if I were with a few people who seemed to have no interest in talking to that person and that person wasn't making an effort to talk to me. That would feel very awkward to me.
It may have been an especially stressful situation to her if the people who she was with were not close friends, but people who she worried about their opinions of her. I am not saying that there is a reason that she should be ashamed to know you, but she may have worried that you and her group might not get along for whatever reason and that she would get abandoned as a result.
If you want to get to know her, approach her by herself. Always ask someone if it is alright before joining them. If they are with several others who you don't know, be sure to look at them when asking too. Always introduce yourself as well. If you want people to talk to you, talk to them.
That's my advice.

[sakabatou]

52. I don't get it either

Besides, I heav't been in a romantic relationship in almost a decade.

[OneGrassRoot]

56. you must be married.........

JUST KIDDING!!!!! (couldn't resist....;) )

[tainowarrior]

75. LOL..

haha...

I think I'm predisposted to be against marriage. My father divorced. My uncle divorced. my father's two male cousins divorced.

I haven't heard of a marriage that is wonderfully happy. The best ones I know are either "partners" (not really in to each other, but just living together), or both people have to sacrifice much for the commitment.

Why sacrifice? If a woman doesn't want to be with me or can't stand my lifestyle, she can go with the rest of the men.

[sakabatou]

91. That's funny...

But it is kinda weird how a lot of girls turn to me for advice.

[caty]

54. You said that she

ignored you, but did you speak to her while sitting at the table? Maybe she thought you had ignored her.

[Wapsie B]

58. Just don't agonize over every little thing

with someone like this, or any relationship in general. Take it from a guy who's spent years alone while contemplating whether a certain woman wanted to be with me while they ended up getted seriously involved with so many other guys, guys who actually asked them out. Ask her directly whether she would like getting to know each other better. If not, move on. You may be overlooking a woman who's just as nice, just as cute or cuter who'd die to say yes to you. We can't loose sight of the forest for the trees.

[tainowarrior]

80. agreed...

it's a numbers game.

If you're single and not really committed, go to a mall, and flirt with EVERY single cute female employee at stores.

Notice that some will giggle, some will roll eyes, some will be aloof, some will be fun.

Some will be in to you, some won't. But the point is, you had fun flirting, no, so who cares what they thought of it.

If you keep that style up, you'll soon be talking to many women, and the one that will be into you will just inevitably come from the interactions.

Talk to as many women as you can, without fear of what they say, and without catering your speech to them. Be yourself and be confident in your skin. The one that will be into you will be into you because she loves your vibe (you're not another puny "can I please go out with you, Goddess" type of man).

[Dastard Stepchild]

62. She probably didn't know how to negotiate you and her friends...

Since you are a new face, it may have been easier and more comfortable to automatically talk to her pals as opposed to striking up a conversation with someone new in front of her pals. She may have felt awkward... I think I would have. Try catching her one on one. :)

[tainowarrior]

64. you might have misunderstood her intentions..

maybe she was giving you the sympathy dance...you said yourself that you weren't doing anything.

I'm a man, so my advice might not be spot on, but I think women generally are attracted to men who seem to be "happening" all by themselves. If you were just there not doing anything, that doesn't give her much to be attracted to.

[JVS]

70. Wear a zucchini in your pants and all else will fall into place

[tainowarrior]

76. that worked well for the Spinal Tap bass player, right?

hahaha...remember the scene in the airport metal detector?

[JVS]

77. It's like we have armadillos in our trousers!

[Arkana]

78. They speak Venusian and we speak Martian, dude...

they're just not meant to be understood. :)

[tainowarrior]

82. no, they speak Martian, they just act like they speak Venusian..

most women would rather have a man that acts like a man and is themselves. And if a woman tells you they'd rather have a man that'll be their "teddy bear", run. You'll end up being their teddy bear...meaning, just for pleasure at their whim, while some other man steals their attraction.

I have a friend. I'll call him Tony. He's been in three relationships were more dominant women have emotionally abused him and used him as the Wallet, and the Teddy Bear (money and emotional dumping). He takes it because he feels he can't get anything better. In the last relationship, all of his male friends (myself included) recommended he'd kick her out of his apartment (where she paid no rent, but was living anyway), because we found out she was cheating on him with a more "manly" man who attracted her.

She used him for Wallet and Emotional Dumping, and went to get her sexual satisfaction with another man. Classic Loser case.

In that case, those women wanted a Martian, but he acted Venusian. He ended up being used.

[BreweryYardRat]

87. Don't ask me.

I don't understand 'em either.