I Challenge YOU

[THUNDER HANDS]

Give me a topic and I'll write a four-star, completely rhyming poem about it. Any number of lines you want.

And you thought I only knew sex polls.... :)

So, what's the first topic?

[Drifter]

1. Juggling ...

Cheers
Drifter

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. I shall call this one... "A Ball In The Air"

A ball in the air
My heart in dispair
Tossed up like a woman
With gum in her hair

A circular motion
Describes my devotion
To remaining one with the hands

For if I should fall
I'd feel really small
And be banished from the juggling lands

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. Okay here you go

write about soon to be ex boyfriends .

[THUNDER HANDS]

6. I shall call this one...."On The Way Out"

On the way out you were
That day
You said I looked fat
I'm not, m'kay?

I'm tired of pleasing
Of hacking and wheezing
Through your smoke screen of comments and teasing

You sucked in bed
You gave lousy head
But I'm too nice to wish you dead

So just head down the block
scratching your 2" cock
As for my door, I'm changing the lock

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

8. I like that !

[prolesunited]

3. Glad to see

that you're expanding your horizons. ;-)

Belly button lint

[THUNDER HANDS]

12. I shall call this one....."My Fuzzy Friend"

My fuzzy friend likes my belly
To him it's warm, dark and smelly
Absolutely perfect, like toast and jelly
The first time he saw it he went:
"Woah, Nelly!"

He comes from my shirt
Gets mixed with some dirt
He might not be clean
But I still love the lil' squirt

[GOPisEvil]

4. How about a poem on sex polls?

:spank: Stop everyone - jeez - I was joking! :spank: OK, OK...

Uh, processed cheese products, then. Happy now?!

[ablbodyed]

9. From the boonies....

It's noxious and yellow and comes in a jar
As a Kraft product, it'sthe worst by far
Maybe as lubricant I could use CheezWhiz
But would I ever get to see my....

Ogden Nash on a self-laothing day

[GOPisEvil]

13. Nice!

:thumbsup:

[RobertSeattle]

7. Oranges

And the ryhing must be with "Orange"...

:evilgrin:

[THUNDER HANDS]

15. I shall call this one "The Big O"

The big 'O' visited my girl last night
She let it in, there wasn't a fight
She sucked on its outside and peeled off its skin
She then cut a hole and stuck her tongue in

Yes, she was doing an orange
And yes, I found it quite strange
But that's my girl
The best in the world
Trish
the girl with the orange fetish

[northzax]

10. you pick the subject

butit must use the following words:

plastic.
bread.
fungi.
Ozymandius.
Moose.
Mouse.

[northzax]

14. hello? it's been like ten minutes

and no poem. This game stinks. :)

[northzax]

22. 30 minutes.

still no poem. I'm complaining to the moderators! :evilgrin:

[THUNDER HANDS]

27. I shall call this one..... "Whatever"

My plastic moose was fed some plastic bread
Ozymandius had a mouse
But now it's dead
Killed by the fungi on the plastic bread
Whatever
I said

Whatever
I said

Ozymandius never liked that mouse
He fed it plastic cheese
And one day the mouse got upset
And said "no more, please."

So Ozymandius gave a sheepish grin
And shouted "I heard what you said!"
So from his pocket his hand pulled out
A piece of plastic bread

The mouse took a nibble and keeled right over
His heart it did just stop
The plastic fungi killed him
And ozymandius was arrested by a cop

[northzax]

40. bravo!

a modern classic. discuss.

[CO Liberal]

11. OK - How About a Poem on "Smegma"???

:-)

[THUNDER HANDS]

16. smegma?

as in, what, man juice?

[CO Liberal]

17. Yep

:-)

[THUNDER HANDS]

18. uh..okay...I shall call this one......."Cream of Wheat"

Don't you just love my cream of wheat
Fresh from my loins
Dispensed from my meat

All cloudy and white
It's makes everything right
Whether you shoot it alone in the morning
Or at your girlfriend at night

Quick, grab me a tissue
My cream of wheat is leaking
No wait, got no time
Right now, I'm peaking!

:)

[piece sine]

26. you make these threads safe for Libetines

and for that I salute your poetic valor.

[sexybomber]

47. You, my friend, are a genius

:D

[VelmaD]

29. I hate to be nitpicky...

because your poem was funny...but that ain't what smegma is exactly.

From Webster's Dictionary:
\Smeg"ma\, n. The matter secreted by any of the sebaceous glands. Specifically: (a) The soapy substance covering the skin of newborn infants. (b) The cheesy, sebaceous matter which collects between the glans penis and the foreskin.

[THUNDER HANDS]

30. I did ask for a definition before I wrote the poem.

And since when did you become a smegma expert Velma? ;)

[VelmaD]

32. Yes you did...

and you were given eroneous information. Not your fault AT ALL and I love your "man-juice" poem. Laughed my ass off.

Yup, that's me...your handy expert on all matters related to bodily fluids and your naughty bits. ;-)

[SoFlaJets]

19. OK MR

here's one that's close to your heart;
"The Essential Bruce Springsteen"

[THUNDER HANDS]

23. I shall call this one........"Pride of New Jersey"

He was the pride of New Jersey
This boy named Bruce
From his first penned line:
"Wrapped up like a deuce..."

He wrote novels in rock and roll form
And took the music industry by storm
He saved rock and roll
At least for a few years
And gave hope to working stiffs
While they drowned in their beers

[underpants]

20. Oranges

Go!

[brainshrub]

21. Damn! I was going to ask that!

[THUNDER HANDS]

24. i did that already

Jeez, aren't you people even reading.

:)

[kmla]

25. How about.... a dyslexic Eskimo with his ass on fire.....

...just thought I'd string some completely unrelated obscure adjectives, nouns, and adverbs together...

Time to get to work, dude.

[THUNDER HANDS]

31. I Shall Call This One...."Nanuk's Pain"

Nanuk the eskimo was in quite a bit of pain
His ass did burn and it was driving him insane
He looked for a hospital to make him feel better
But he was dyslexic and couldn't make out a letter

So instead of the E.R. where did he go?
Well you can find him behind his igloo, don't you know?
With his head in his hands and his ass in the snow

[kmla]

33. My applause.....

I didn't think you could do it that fast....

You have my poetic admiration...

[LynneSin]

28. How about a poem for LynneSin's love of Herradura Tequilla

There should be a poem for this great love?

Can you ascribe??

:shrug:

and on edit note: please don't insult the tequilla with lemon and salt - this is top shelf liquor!!

[THUNDER HANDS]

36. I shall call this one...."Drunk in Delaware"

I'm drunk in Delaware
And I don't care
With a bottle of tequilla
And a clip for my hair

My seat at the bar is engraved with my name
Herradura, it says, and that is no game

'Tis my favorite you see - when it's around I'm alive
there is nothing else in this world I would rather embibe

[LynneSin]

39. Thanks Sweetie....

although it's been ages since I've been drunk in Delaware, the poem was great nonetheless.

[SOteric]

34. Let us know

when the poetry starts! - I'm really looking forward to reading some.

;-)

[GOPisEvil]

37. Zing!

:D

[VOX]

35. Try one on the Pickett-Pettigrew advance at Gettysburg, June 3, 1863...

:toast:

[THUNDER HANDS]

38. uh...

Can I get a little background info on that. Please.

:)

[THUNDER HANDS]

41. I shall call this one....."Ride The Pony"

I rode on a pony up over a hill
With a gun in one hand, and in the other a will
We fought for the confederates
Or maybe it was the union
Either way, I'm just here to get paid
prefereably in gold bullion

(note - if I happened to know more about this battle I'd have written more).

[CanuckAmok]

42. Terminator 3 n/t

[THUNDER HANDS]

43. I shall call this one...."Rise of the Wrinkled Machine"

Two machines sent to this world
One a boy and one a girl
The boy had muscles and wasn't no wussy
The girl came buck nekked and you could even see her

What was that?
A crash and a boom
A female terminator has just crashed in the room
Shooting her plasma arm, kicking major ass
Even old Arnold is no match for this lass

But Judgement Day came
And out the critics did lash
But that won't stop Arnold from making another
Terminator 4: the search for more cash

[TXlib]

44. Big-bang nucleosynthesis

[THUNDER HANDS]

45. I call this one........"The Mind Blower"

Gamow, Alpher and Herman
Couldn't speak any German
So they proposed the hot Big Bang
Could do it's thang
And produce all of the elements in the land.

But it was not to be
The was a lack of stable nucei you see
With atomic weights of 5 or 8
Only oxygen and hydrogen were produced
Not great

Burbidge, Burbidge, Fowler and Hoyle
Worked long hours under sweat and toil
On the nucleosynthesis processes that go on in stars
Where the much greater density and longer time scales
Were pounded into their heads like so many rusted nails

He+He+He -> C) to proceed and make the elements heavier for you and me
But BBFH could not produce enough helium, you see
So they settled on something they thought would suffice
Namely, that most helium is produced in the Big Bang but carbon and everything heavier is produced in stars.
Now isn't that nice?

[TXlib]

53. I'm impressed

[northzax]

46. and for your greatest challenge:

George Bush is the Best President Ever. As written by a freeper.

[THUNDER HANDS]

49. I call this one......"Der's Uh Good Prsident"

So he ain't too bright
And he likes to pick a fight
But he's an honest Christian man
Just doing what he can
In this crazy mixed up world
With the liberals and the girls
And the abortions and the gays
And all the other ways
to show the world "Der's uh good prsident"

He disses the U.N.
Turns his back on his old friends
Starts a war
Starves the poor
But keeps us freepers happy

He ain't like Clinton
Thank the lord for that
Why he just pulled a $500 billion deficit
Right out of his hat!

[kyrasdad]

48. gay marriage and the gop

[THUNDER HANDS]

50. I shall call this one...."Gay Marriage and the GOP"

Gay Marriage and the GOP
In...tolerance is the life for me
Don't worry 'bout my lack of money
Just keep oppsing gay marriage, GOP

Rick Santorum says I'm a sinner
But I just like a little sausage dinner
Oh Rick, you make me want to do some punching
Right after I'm done with this carpet munching

I don't understand why they're so upset
Just because Jane makes Jill a little wet
Maybe they'd be happier with rings on their hands
And the booty-shaking tunes of an all-gay wedding band!

[kyrasdad]

52. This is a classic line... should be our rally cry...

"I don't understand why they're so upset
Just because Jane makes Jill a little wet"

[THUNDER HANDS]

51. I'm still taking requests

If anyone wants to challenge me.

:)

[TXlib]

54. mucormycosis

[THUNDER HANDS]

59. I shall call this one....."Evil Veggies"

Evil veggies made me sick
From the bed to the batroom I must run quick
A fungi frequently found in soil
Made me ill, made me toil

At first I thought it was a sinus infection
Then I noticed my graying complexion
mucormycosis, the doctor wrote up
I saw a beer commercial. Some guy said "Wha's up?"

Now I'm a badly broken mess
My immune system is shrinking less and less
My heart, my brain, my lungs, my chest
You've taken my body lord, now take the rest

[TXlib]

55. Why GWB is the best president ever, and the second coming of christ

[THUNDER HANDS]

61. I shall call this one...."Impossible"

sorry, can't do it. Even I'm not that creative.

[tom_paine]

56. Ok, Magic Rat, a poem about meosis (not to be confused with mitosis)

Good luck...

[THUNDER HANDS]

60. I shall call this one....."The Great Divide"

My cells are dividing
They're splitting apart
There's nothing I can do about it
And it's breaking my heart

I blame YOU, Meiosis
You and your process of cell division
Creating your eggs and sperm
Like you have a vision

You divided twice, your nuclear stuff
You think you're hot shit
You think you're tough
Well, go tell it to VelmaD
She likes it rough.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

57. Laura's lipstick

12 lines, please.

[THUNDER HANDS]

58. I shall call this one......"Lips"

Engorged with blood
Ripe with passion
She had her lipstick out
And ready for action

The color was red
The destination, her bed
"Take me now."
She said

For hours they went
No, it was not quick
And she owed it all
To Laura's lipstick

[GoddessOfGuinness]

64. LOL!

Was it a big lipstick?

[KFC]

62. Sandy Duncan's Other Eye

Damn impressive so far.

[THUNDER HANDS]

63. I shall call this....."Sandy Duncan's Other Eye"

Sandy Duncan's other eye
Caught me with another guy
Back behind the football bleachers
Then she went and told the teachers

So I got fingered for being gay
And had no clue as to what to say
The principal said "Come over here and take a seat."
"No fair," I cried. "Jimmy likes my meat."

Sandy Duncan's other eye
Caught me with another guy
Now I've left town and called a mover
And I'm off to live up in Vancouver