Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Equal Time (creationist joke)

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:27 PM
Original message
Equal Time (creationist joke)
Ovulation versus cretinism

Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork.



(Original version by Erkki Aalto, Dept. of Obstetrics, Gynaecology and Stork Science, University of Helsinki)

(English version by Jopi Louko, Institute of Stork Research, University of Alberta)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Goldmund Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. Right on
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Ready4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. I question your dismissal of the "Cabbage Patch" theory.
I feel it's just as valid as these other so-called theories. I demand it be presented to school children as well.

;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Joe_VB Donating Member (336 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
3. That was good....Thanks redqueen!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. My pleasure.
:)

(a little shameless kick for the night crew)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MercutioATC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
4. You're completely wrong, you know.
I pray that you will be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

http://venganza.org/
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Hahahaha...
I love the flying spaghetti monster! :D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MercutioATC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I just got the "WWFSMD?" golf shirt...
Edited on Thu Aug-04-05 12:43 PM by MercutioATC
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Reverend_Smitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. That is one of the funniest sites I've seen in a long time
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster They even have an overview of the whole religion now.

Worshiping spaghetti and dressing like a pirate...now that's a religion I can get behind!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
jilln Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
5. haha, cretinism...
on purpose or a freudian slip?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. I think it's on purpose... it's too perfect.
:D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-04-05 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
10. Oh please
Everybody knows a woman becomes pregnant by swallowing a man's totem. Read "Clan of the Cave Bear"--it's all right there!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue May 07th 2024, 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC