How do I find a person I lost? Any DUers run over a kid in 1978?

[Rabrrrrrr]

a long time ago.

All I have are his first name, the city he lived in 25 years ago, and his profession, and, I think, the first initial of last name.

Anyone know how I might find out how to contact this guy?

Anyone have a Fennimore, WI phone book handy?

I'm looking because tomorrow is the 25 year anniversary of the day he ran over me with his semi, and I've long thought I should let him know what I've been up to, as I've often wondered if the accident has haunted and tortured his soul (which I sincerely hope it hasn't, since I healed just fine). He does at least know I lived through it, we had contact a few months after the accident, but we've never had contact since then. I really think he should at least know that, hey, that kid has never thought a bad word about him, his life is great, and all is well and fine and dandy. I just hope he hasn't suffered.

Or perhaps are you on DU now, and remember running over a boy in 1978?

Any help you can offer would be highly and greatly appreciated.

(my parents are dead, and I doubt anyone other than my mother would have remembered the guy's name)

[htuttle]

1. Was an accident report filed?

I don't know if they keep them that long, but last time I checked, I think they still had record of moving violations I got in the early 80's (though the points fell off long ago).

Also, were any newspaper stories filed about it? (police blotter section maybe?)

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Yes on both

At least, so far as I know, I would assume an accident report was filed, though since I've never seen it, I can't guarantee it (but given the largeness of the accident, I'd be damn surprised if it wasn't!).

And there was a newspaper paragraph. I have a copy of it, but it's in storage half a country away... (and my hometown where the accident was is half a country away...)

If I had the dude's last name, it would be hella easier.

[ps1074]

3. You know the date, you know the year, you know the place...

Call the city library and ask them to check it for you in the local newspaper from dd/mm/yyyy about the accident.

Be nice and explain what is it all about. They might tell you the guy's name from the newpaper.

This link might be helpful. At the bottom, there is an email and a phone number.
LINK

Good luck!

[sirshack]

4. Ummm....

...why do you think he wants to be contacted by you? And why are you so intent on contacting him? Frankly, I'd find it a little weird if someone whom I had no other connection to other than a traffic accident tracked me down to make contact again.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. Well, considering the horrific nature of the accident

and the wondering "will he live?" and "will he walk again?", yada yada yada, I think he might like to know.

Smaller accidents, no, but this pretty significant.

For me, if had hit and run over a 12 year old with a semi, busting him up pretty well, and spent time keeping that kid talking until the paramedics arrived, I'd always be thinking, "Whatever happened to that kid? Is he a bitter cripple afraid to go outside? Is he leading a normal life? Is he leading a normal life but full of bitter hatred toward me? Did I bankrupt the parents with later medical care? Is he really Brad Pitt?"

It's possible he isn't thinking about me at all, but I doubt it. I just wonder, and would like to close that door and let him know what happened. Not looking for a relationship, just to let him know all is okay.

[MuseRider]

5. I think he just might

be really interested to know you are fine and hold no bad feelings. I can only imagine how I might feel if I were him. However, I can't imagine he never kept in contact with you, at least once a year to see that you were OK. I would but maybe others would not. Couldn't hurt to find him and it just might help a lot.

[nomatrix]

7. You may have reached others with your quest...

I was moved by your effort to find this person and to let him know you were O.K.
My uncle was opening his car door, when he was struck and thown 50 feet in the air and died instantly. His 10 year old daughter was in the front seat and saw the whole thing. The driver, did stop and though not hurt physically, never recovered.
My family never blamed him, it was an accident. My uncles' daughters, who were 10 & 8 at the time of the accident, went to the hospital to visit that driver after his 2nd suicide attempt. They wanted him to know, as painful as it had been, this man had children he needed to be around for and to keep on living. Unfortunately, he never was able to escape from his feeling of guilt about the tragedy.
Judy, who saw it happen, was paralyzed in her 20's from a back injury. Confined to a wheelchair and blinded from diabetes, she could still make you laugh with her lightning wit, despite her lack of a real life 49.
When I spoke with her last, she confided in me that this was not the life she had hoped to live, feeling like she was a burden. She died 2 weeks later of a heart attack.
Thank you for making me think of her. I got the chance to call her out of the blue before she died, to let her know she was my hero. Whenever there was something I didn't think I was going to get through, I thought of her. Whether it was fixing the roof or the car, she took care of her Mom after her Dad died. Like her Dad, she gave the gift of laughter to everyone she met. You gave me the gift of remembering.
Thank you.

(the hospital might have a record also. Was there a trucking logo on the semi?)

[newyawker99]

17. Hi nomatrix!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Zorba607]

8. bad idea I think

my pops is a train engineer (30+yrs) and having hit someone is among the worst torments I've ever witnessed. Granted, frieght trains don't injure so much as kill, but I know in his case he would rather just forget about it and maintain his sanity. Having the families contact him to tell them they forgive him is no consolation.
toosense

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. well, I'm only doing it because I am perfectly well.

Were I crippled from it, or had any other problem, no way would I contact, and you'd have my full agreement that contacting would be bad (and/or contacting to say "I forgive you" can be pretty nasty, too).

Thankfully, as my doctor told me, I had that accident when I was 12, and at the height of my ability to heal, so I'm fine and dandy. (if you can call it lucky, anyway) :-)

But thanks for the input - you do give me food for thought, anyway.

[amazona]

12. warning: you may be disappointed

If it were me, I wouldn't bother to track down the guy. If he wanted to know what had happened, he would have looked into it long before now.

I have a friend, who is, in many ways, a wonderful human being and a very generous person. To his family and friends. However, when he was 18, he was in an accident where he hit a motorcycle rider and crushed his legs. While I assume that if I had done something like this, I would 1) indeed be haunted by guilt, and 2) be an extremely nervous driver, the blunt fact of the matter is that my friend could not care less about the person he hit and it is as far as he is concerned just about the least important fact of his lifetime. If the man contacted him after all these years, my friend's only thought would be, ho-boy, is he planning to hit me up for money or what is this?

I believe in my friend's case that it is a coping mechanism -- he must drive many 10s of thousands of miles in a year and he cannot be a nervous wreck always thinking that he was once in a serious accident where he crippled another boy. It is actually better for him, if not for the victim, that he basically just blot out the whole experience.

Not everyone deals with tragedy the same way. Many people prefer to forget all about it. I would tend to assume that if this person ran over a 12 year boy and didn't contact the family within a few years to see how he was doing, frankly, he just doesn't care. Sad to say, an event can be a very big deal in our lives, without making any real or lasting impact on others involved in that event.

I am so glad that you have fully recovered and that you have such a generous spirit but it might be better for that spirit if you lavished your kindness on someone else.

[TEXASYANKEE]

9. Good luck.

I think that is a very thoughtful thing you're trying to do. If it were me who ran over a child, I would appreciate hearing from that person and knowing that they are alive and well. I wish you luck and admire your sensibility.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Thanks for your comments,

and suggestions!

Hadn't thought of the library. Will give 'em a shot.

[nuxvomica]

13. Now I understand the point of rating threads

:kick:

[MuseRider]

14. You know...

maybe it is just me but I still think you should try. Maybe he does not care. If so then it should not hurt him, might not make you feel too good but you seem to know this is a possibility. I came upon an accident last summer, got there just seconds after it happened. Car at high speed hit the guard rail under a bridge, flipped and exploded. I ran over, there was one guy there before me. He was so brave. He cut the driver out of the seat belt and managed to pull him out all the while the fire was getting worse and things were exploding. I took care of the guy in the ditch while he tried to rock the car and get the passenger out. He could not and after it was all over all he could do was cry about the passenger who burned alive. I found out a couple of days later that the passenger was dead before his body burned (disected aorta). I would give anything to find the guy and tell him, he was devastated. If there is a possibility your contact might make him feel better or live a little more comfortably I think it is worth the effort. Just my thought.

[Bossy Monkey]

15. Also also

put up a webpage (or put it on page you have up already) with all the information, especially the stuff he would remember like the date and the town where it happened. Several friends from way back and a couple of strangers who happen to share my name have found me through Google searches. You may be surprised; he may find you rather than the other way around. Just remember to submit your site to Google, and put some links on it so the Googlebot will find it. Good luck!

[Rhiannon12866]

16. Well, don't look at me, I certainly wasn't driving back in 1978,

but I cannot imagine that this is something you'd ever forget. I hit a bunny two months ago and I still think about it everyday. I am glad that you are well and I think it would be best for you if you could just put it behind you.

Was this reported in the newspaper? I would think that this was likely and that you could get the man's name from there. If you do learn the man's name, you could get an address and phone number using these sites. I found my best friend from ninth grade, but, of course, I know everything about her from her exact birthdate to her middle name. Good luck!:hi:

U.S. Search
http://www.ussearch.com/wlcs/index.jsp

People Find White Pages
http://www.peoplefind.com/frames/menupages.htm