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What do you think about adoption outside the U.S.

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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:02 PM
Original message
What do you think about adoption outside the U.S.
My neighbors have two children of there own. Today they told me they
are getting ready to adopt a child from Guatemala. This really
seem to bother me and couldn't stop thinking about it.
I think its admirable that they want to adopt but why couldn't it
be a child from the U.S. with so many homeless here?
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democracyindanger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
1. From the little I know on the subject
adopting US children is incredibly hard. I'd bet the majority of people who adopt outside the country have already tried doing so within.
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burrowowl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Apparently Europe and Canada
are adopting US Black male children, as they can't get adopted in the US.
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democracyindanger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. This country sucks.
We don't take care of our own.
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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
2. I can't answer that question, but I can tell you I have 2 relatives
each who adopted children from OS the US. I don't think they were from Guatamala though. I can't remember because both families have had their children for well over 5 years now.

Neither family could have children of their own, and are thrilled with the children they adopted.

One is quite wealthy, so I know it had nothing to do with money! The other is certainly upper middle class, and all has worked out great for them as well.

I'm not sure, but I seem to remember their decision has something to do with being able to adopt a very young child, and the only connections they could find in the US were much older. I guess I can understand their position, in a way. If you can teach a baby to talk, and learn all your cultural, family & religious values, it would sure be easier than to try to re-train an older child and erase their bad memories.
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
4. Perhaps you should pay more attention to your own life and family . . .
. . . rather than sticking your nose in the business and lives of others, making judgments about them, and experiencing negative emotions as a result thereof.
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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. Wow you sure have an attitude problem
Edited on Sat Jul-16-05 11:42 PM by samplegirl
I wasnt aware I was sticking my nose anywhere. These are my neighbors and friends. Whom I adore there little boys.
They were excited about telling me there news. I wasnt passing judgement on them I simply wondered why they would want a child from
another country. Im not familiar with adoption and didnt realize
it was so difficult to adopt and infant here.
So dont be so quick to tell me to stick to my own family. You
sound like a real jerk.
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. I know.
:smoke:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-17-05 01:03 AM
Response to Reply #8
13. Just ignore him.
He gets off on insulting DUers. Never hardly posts outside of the Lounge, and most of his Lounge posts are to insult or demean people.

Sad lonely life he must live.

I appreciate your post. :hug:
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
6. There are pros and cons.
Edited on Sun Jul-17-05 12:00 AM by philosophie_en_rose
It may not be a general feeling, but one couple that I know felt burned after their almost adopted foster child was returned to the birth parents. They're applying for a Chinese child.

A friend from college and her partner are trying to adopt from Guatamala, because they live in Florida.

Adopting children is a serious endeavor that takes a lot of time, money, and energy. I don't think that making US adoptions easier is the answer, but making the process more fair and accessible might be. I don't think it's necessarily right to only want babies or for parents to have rights terminated unfairly. However, I do think that speeding the process along might prevent children from growing up in foster care.


On edit: Just because children are homeless, does not mean that they are available to adopt. In addition, there are plenty of reasons why people might choose to adopt children that are born outside of the US. It's important to realize that your neighbors are doing an amazing thing. Adopting a child - any child - is a gift that deserves support. I assure you that questioning the origin of their children (who by the way will be Americans, if they're adopted by one) probably would hurt your neighbors.
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samplegirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:41 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I agree
as I said I think it is most admirable. I think its very sad that
Adoption is so difficult here in the U.S.
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JohnnyBoots Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-16-05 11:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. bullshit, plenty of poor kids over here
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MarianJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-17-05 12:57 AM
Response to Original message
11. ChicaAzul & I Are Adoptive Parents
We adopted an African American boy who is now 5. For us it was rather easy because our son had an adoptive family lined up and that couple backed out at the hospital after hearing some info about the birth family. Their loss.

One reason it was easy for us was that our boy was THIS CLOSE o going to foster care. We will be celebrating our 5th anniversary as a family very soon. We got him at 3 months old.

We cannot fathom feeling more love fora blood child than for our son. We may try to adopt again, but my age (50) may be a problem. If we do, we would probably go for another African American.

I was VERY reluctant to post this, because in 2+ years as a member of this web site, I've been in exactly ONE flame war, and that was with an individual who, upon seeing that we had an inter-racial adoption (as well, I suspect, as us being a bi-racial couple), sent a link that basically stated that those who adopt children of other races are in fact racist and that those who don't want to be parents should be FORCED to keep their unwanted children :crazy: !

I believe that it is LOVE, as well as blood that makes a family!
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-17-05 01:12 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. Thanks for being the family . . .
that your son needed. No flames from me, and I'm sorry you had that previous crappy experience at DU, MarianJack. :hug:
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MarianJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-17-05 01:23 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. WOW, Heidi!
Your response touched me very much!

ChicaAzul and I would have been, I believe, a happily married couple with or without children. That being said, neither of us can imagine life without our son. He is a truly remarkable little boy (even though I want to THROTTLE him sometimes!).

I think that we're the family we all needed!

I'm very happy for you that you found a loving family, too!

Peace!
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-17-05 01:30 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. And just so you know . . .
I love this part of your profile: "We're all Democrats here! Let's stop attacking each other and start focusing on 2005/06!"
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-17-05 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
12. As an adopted kid . . .
if there'd been no takers in the US when I needed a loving home, I can guaran-dang-tee you that I'd have been happy to have parents of _any_ nationality. That's this adoptee's perspective.
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