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Do some people think of pets as their actual human children?

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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:03 AM
Original message
Do some people think of pets as their actual human children?
I had a girlfriend like this, once. She bought three dogs and fussed over them incessantly; scolding them, consoling them, spanking them, showering them with love. She talked to them like a mother talks to her own flesh and blood. She pretended to interact with them on an an emotional, human level, including laughing and crying, with one-sided dialogue. She was fantasizing that the dogs were thinking certain things that suited her mood.

It turned out that she really wanted children of her own and the dogs were just surrogates, or replacements, if you will.

I dumped her and she finally had a kid. Now, I think she is fulfilled.

U ever know anybody like that?
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liss681 Donating Member (227 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:04 AM
Response to Original message
1. those kinds of people scare me
:scared:
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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #1
54. I love my pets as much as I would children however
I don't sit there with them and cry and laugh, etc. No point telling them my problems, etc. They are not surrogates for children as I never wanted children and don't particularly like being around them, especially the brats. I love my pets dearly
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:06 AM
Response to Original message
2. I come damn close sometimes....
Especially when I worry about how I'll afford college for five cats. They're all young now, but the day will come.
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:07 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. LOL!
:rofl:
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:08 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. Ha ha!
B-)
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intheflow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:07 AM
Response to Original message
4. I have a friend like this. Here's her "son" Chuck.
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 02:08 AM by intheflow


She is on that cat's case like white on rice. I love her dearly, but god forbid she ever be a real parent. Her kids would be more neurotic than Woody Allen!
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:15 AM
Response to Reply #4
17. you can see the haunted look in his eyes....
He needs some space.
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intheflow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:53 AM
Response to Reply #17
24. That "haunted" look was more a "hunted" look.
I followed him all around the apartment for days to get that shot! LOL!

In reality, his biggest problem with her heaping attention on him is a dramatic shift toward obesity. She has her own eating issues and projects/inflicts them onto the cat.
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liss681 Donating Member (227 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:08 AM
Response to Original message
6. you know what really bothers me about people like that is
when they dress up their pets... it's just wrong!
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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:16 AM
Response to Reply #6
18. some need it ...
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 02:17 AM by fleabert
chihuahua's are desert dogs, not meant for the snow... she doesn't shiver a bit with her coat on...

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madeline_con Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:36 AM
Response to Reply #6
27. " it's just wrong!"
Those stupid little Halloween outfits, and the Santa suits. AARRGGHH!!
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #6
32. I dress up my small dog b/c she is cold natured and
when it is cold outside, she needs it. It is not wrong, as you say.
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liss681 Donating Member (227 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #32
48. no that is not what i meant....
i mean the people who dress them up in costumes... do you really think a dog wants to wear a tutu?! if it's to keep them warm, that is a different story...
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RummyTheDummy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:08 AM
Response to Original message
7. My wife and I come close as well
We have a dog and a cat. We don't know if we want children.
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saracat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:09 AM
Response to Original message
8. Umm, some of us DO interact with our pets.
Both my husband and myself regularly converse with our cats. It is relatively easy to communicate with them if you pay attention. The more you converse with them the more they respond. My husband is actually able to reason with one of our cats and get him to go inside when necessary. It is odd but true.And we have never had children and do not want any. And we don't "pretend " to interact with our animals.We actually DO interact with them. And they are as important to us as any family member.
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:12 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. Yes
I consider my sweet little doggie, Prince, a family member.

B-)
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:13 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. I dare you to try that with an average 16 year old
The more you converse the less they listen. Reasoning? Not likely. :banghead:

If my daughter is lurking... You know I love you sweetie, but you were a little thick at times. :hi:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:14 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. Your daughter lurks on DU?
Cool! Tell her to sign up. :D
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:19 AM
Response to Reply #13
19. I keep telling her to
I think she may have and just wants to forge her own way on DU. She's always talking about what's been posted here and knows quite a bit about the posters.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:00 AM
Response to Reply #19
37. Only 2 more years till she's legal!
w00t!!

:hide:

j/k
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #37
52. Actually she's 18 now
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 01:53 PM by Lone_Star_Dem
I was teasing her about the "bad spell" she went through when she was 16. She's all legal and moving off in about another month now.
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:14 AM
Response to Reply #8
12. I interact with our cats as well....
With asquirt gun and food.....

It's the best behavior modification going....

(But sometimes I feel like the Chinese guys in the original Manchurian Candidate)
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:14 AM
Response to Reply #8
14. Touche'.....
...love your post, and couldn't agree more. Imagine: we as animals actually interacting with other animals to get along and understand each other better! What a novel concept...
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intrepid_wanderer Donating Member (559 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:28 AM
Response to Reply #8
31. Is that so wrong?
Why do so many dislike anyone having an attachment different from their own?
Pets, Children, Computers, Caffeine, Cell Phones...


whatever Cremes your Twinkie Man!

:bounce:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:12 AM
Response to Original message
9. Lucky woman.
Very lucky, indeed.

She's raising a family, and you're sniping at people on DU. Who do you think got the better end of the deal?
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:14 AM
Response to Reply #9
41. Well, that wasn't very nice.
love,

Blue-Jay
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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:15 AM
Response to Original message
15. my dog is a very real part of our family.
and I believe they have emotions and moods, just like we do.

I find it harder to understand people who treat their pets like an afterthought...leaving them outside, chained up, never spending time with them, or only when it suits or interests them. Getting rid of them if they move or if they have a baby, or for any reason for that matter. It is equal (TO ME) to deciding to get rid of a kid after a few years, and getting another...'it just didn't work out', 'she didn't get along with our other child', 'she doesn't behave'... whatever.

I made a commitment to this dog for her entire life, to love her and care for her in any way that she needed. I am lucky that the bargain includes her unending affection and adoration. We should be so lucky to get the same from our human families and friends sometimes.

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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:25 AM
Response to Reply #15
20. That's a sweet pooch you've got there!
I can almost feel it's cold little nose on my face!

I agree with everything you said. I keep my dog inside the house, unless he wants to go out into the backyard (fenced).

I treat him like a King, and he is my best buddy.

B-)
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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:29 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. :-)
I also got my username from her...

she's the bestest ever. I have almost lost her twice (as in she almost died, not misplaced) and I was a basket case. The last time was really close and i was hysterical at the vets office when the took her out of my arms to prep for surgery. I held it together for her, but as soon as she was out of the room...oh man.

she hates it when I cry, she cries too, and licks my tears off my cheeks, she gets kinda frantic about it.
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expatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:15 AM
Response to Original message
16. not as human children, but as adopted feline children....
and I guess my signature is pretty incriminating as to where I stand on the issue. :blush:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:27 AM
Response to Original message
21. I love my cat
but not like that. He has his own life.

Yes, I've known people like that. I don't pass any judgments, though. Each to his or her own.
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Hissyspit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 02:33 AM
Response to Original message
23. You CAN interact with animals on an emotional, human level.
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 02:33 AM by Hissyspit
She may have been pretending to do it, but you can do it. Humans are animals, too, don't forget.
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left is right Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:26 AM
Response to Original message
25. I call my little dog "Bubby"
and refer to him as my daughter's little brother. As in, "take your little brother out for a walk."
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Spinzonner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:34 AM
Response to Original message
26. Has she taught the kid to do tricks yet ?
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 05:49 AM
Response to Original message
28. Dogs are like children.
They needed to be protected and cared for just like your child. My Rottie is my big baby.
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 05:53 AM
Response to Original message
29. now, I don't dress my animals or anything like that
but, my husband and I don't have kids, and I guess in some respect thats how we think of our dogs. We're not "wierd" about it though. My mother calls them her "grandpuppies". I think she really wants some grandkids, and this is her indirect way of saying so.
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sadiesworld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 05:56 AM
Response to Original message
30. Ouch.
Sadie is my dog.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
33. My cat is FAR less annoying than any child could be
and for this, I am thankful
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
34. I've always said my animals are my kids until I
have kids. I don't REALLY treat them like I would my own child, but I love my animals and they get treated very well. There is nothing wrong with talking to and loving your animals. I do want children, but I didn't get my animals to fill a void. I got them b/c I love animals and they make wonderful companions. Studies show that people with animals tend to live longer. When I have children, my animals will still be loved as much, but they will take a back seat to my child.
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El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
35. That would be an insult to my cat.
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 08:58 AM
Response to Original message
36. We call our dogs "kids"
And we do interact with them on an emotional human level, just as they interact with us on an emotional canine level.

My Chow knows when I'm sad. A couple of weeks ago I had a really bad day at work and came home, sat down and cried. She came over to me and softly laid her head in my lap. Then, she walked away, and came back with a bag of dog treats, which she also put in my lap, and sat back with an expectant grin on her face. I'm pretty sure she figured I was vulnerable!

We really don't want children. The dogs are plenty.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
38. I thought of it a different way, I guess.
We're a part of our dog's pack. :shrug:
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:04 AM
Response to Reply #38
39. That's how they view us
We're just funny looking dogs to them.
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Texasgal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:10 AM
Response to Original message
40. My dogs are like my children
I have no desire to have kids. My dogs are my children... and I don't think that's weird at all.
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #40
46. Yeah. *Like* my children...
...but I am careful not to claim that they *are* my kids. They're just as close as I'm likely to come in this life.

If they were kids, I wouldn't leave them kenneled all day while I'm at work. Unless they were very, very bad. :-)

People with kids have greater responsibility, and can form closer bonds with their charges. I just keep domesticated animals who have the animal equivalent of affection for me.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:16 AM
Response to Original message
42. No, my cats are my smarter than my human children
and they don't argue with me.
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jbane Donating Member (668 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 09:27 AM
Response to Original message
43. Yes, but no quite that wierd.
My wife and I are WAY to involved in our cat's lives.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 11:56 AM
Response to Original message
44. Yes, certainly. And it's alright with me.
When I was a child one of our neighbours in San Francisco was an elderly couple who'd been childless. They had two small dogs that they both fussed over as if they were their children. The woman even addressed them as 'son' when she talked to each of them.

If it filled up an empty space in her life and didn't hurt anyone, where's the harm?
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
45. my soon-to-be-ex-brother in law and his wife
have had a succession of obnoxious dogs that are child surrogates.

They are too narcissistic to share their lives with human children, but subconciously have turned their dogs into spoiled rotten, pampered little substitutes that rule their lives far more tyrranically than any child ever would. Funny, really.
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peacebuzzard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
47. I think your ex was psycho; I love my animals, but do not dote
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 12:57 PM by peacebuzzard
incessantly. I do prefer their company to most humans though, primarily because I have an innate necessity for solitude and quiet times when I am not at work. My pets are very quiet and passive home companions which allows me to work in my home office. They also service as doorbells and freaky uninvited guest deterrents.

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PollyH Donating Member (89 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
49. Kid Pets
My two dogs and three cats are members of the family. We treat them with love and respect. They are a constant source of joy and laughter. I think the miracle is that dogs and cats love us ---- I'm not sure most humans deserve it. I decided long ago that having children was a bummer and after seeing the children of friends, family and co-workers, I still feel the same way. I am way happier with my dogs and cats and one husband.

If you don't feel a deep love and respect for cats and dogs, please don't own them. They can do without you.
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youspeakmylanguage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
50. Dogs are MUCH better than human children...
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 01:35 PM by youspeakmylanguage
Human children require constant attention. They scream and cry in restaurants and other public places. They demand all sorts of material goods, especially expensive electronics, designer clothes, and cars in their teenage years. They sometimes grow up to be cocaine addicts and prostitutes, or even conservatives.

Dogs are loving, require more limited attention, and will never reject you. All they require is quality food, routine medical check-ups, flea and heartworm medication, and an occasional bone or rawhide. They will even snuggle with you in the winter to keep warm.

I sometimes wonder if there is a heaven, but only our pets will be admitted and we'll be stuck in some sort of purgatory where they make us do tricks and sleep in cages...
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:25 PM
Response to Reply #50
56. kids also talk to you, hug you, tell you cool stuff
give you lots of pleasure, grow up to ask amazing questions, make you proud. Just a gentle reminder that kids can be very cool.

I had cats for many years and I loved both of them dearly. But I could go away for a week and with kids (well, when they are 16, maybe) you can't do that. Can't say that I liked my cat better than my kid.. though. It's different. :)
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youspeakmylanguage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #56
57. Most of my personal experiences as a kid with other kids was bad...
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 04:36 PM by youspeakmylanguage
...and my limited experiences as an adult with kids (small second cousins) has been bad. They seem to act fine around their parents, but then turn into spiteful little demons when the parents disappear. I don't trust any parent that claims their kids are generally good - kids at a certain range of ages are bad by design. I have great empathy for teachers.

Dogs are angels compared to people. Sorry, but unless I have a drastic change of heart they will always be my only children.

Here is my "kid" - http://tweed.lowrock.net/401/
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #57
58. kids are NOT bad by design
sorry, can't agree with you there. I work with kids and even the most troubled have a spark of delight and good in them. And I have one of my own, and most of the time he is a delightful boy. That attitude might be worth another look.

JMO
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youspeakmylanguage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #58
59. That's my opinion...
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 04:44 PM by youspeakmylanguage
...based on my experiences, which I've admitted are limited.

If I were you, I'd be glad that someone like me who doesn't like kids isn't parenting. That most likely equals one less screwed-up person in this screwed-up world.
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #59
60. fair enough
I just often feel compelled to question negative attitudes about kids, esp. when voiced by people who don't have them.

and for the record, I don't think that the world is that screwed up.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:37 PM
Response to Reply #56
64. Gideon tells me cool stuff too...
It's hard not to think of a creature as your kid, sort of, when he calls you "Mama."

Tucker
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #64
66. sure
when we had the cats, we did think of them as our "kids" in a way. But it is very different. Hard to explain.
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
51. I Know She's A Dog. But I Fuss Over And Pamper Her Like She's A Person...
... I snuggle and comfort her. I play with her. I never EVER hit her. I scold her when necessary. She sleeps with me at night.

I do talk to her... but for her benefit... and she doesn't talk back. We don't have a "dialogue". I can't tell what she's actually thinking, but I can tell (in broad terms) what her mood is.

My mom even refers to Mitzi as her grand-dog.

She's content and spoiled... and that makes me happy.

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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 03:50 PM
Response to Original message
53. One of my animals is like my kid--the other is more like a friend
My rat is an adult animal who doesn't need to be treated like a baby; he functions on an adult level in his ratty world, and I consider him a friend, don't talk down to him, and have more "grown-up" interactions with him.

Gideon, on the other hand, lives in an entirely human world in which he will never be capable of being a fully-functional adult. He has the cognitive abilities of a bright four- or five-year-old human, the temperament of a clingy two-year-old, and the vocabulary of a toddler. I treat him much as I did my human kids when they were toddlers; the kids call him "the flying toddler with pliers on his face."

Tucker
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Mutley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
55. I talk to my dogs.
I don't pretend that they can understand me except for a few choice words (walk, eat, snack, sit, stay, stop peeing on my goddamn floor... you know, the usuals). They're like my children, but not children.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
61. People like that irritate me
They contend that they "love" animals but to me, if they really did, they would recognize that they are animals and view the world through their own unique lens.

I love my cat and I've had many different types of animals over the years - dogs, birds, horses, farm type animals, etc. Each of them I respected as a member of the species they actually were. I would never expect my cat to react to the world as a human - he is a cat. To me, it's insulting to expect him to be anything other than that.

My sister used to treat her cat like a child and she had the most obnoxious and neurotic cat on the face of the earth. I don't think that's fair to an animal.
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LisaL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:24 PM
Response to Original message
62. I do talk to my cats.
Edited on Wed Jul-13-05 07:25 PM by lizzy
But the conversations are usually limited to "good boy" or "bad boy". Or "are you hungry ?". They definitely understand "are you hungry"?

LOL.
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DemGirl7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
63. My sister thinks of her two dogs as her children.
My sister and her husband have no children of their own(she doesn't want any, and her husband has one adult child from a previous marriage) so they treat their two American Eskimo dogs as their kids. Me and my Mom treat them as kids too, heck, we even treat our dog, Cody, a Sheltie, as a kid somewhat too. I know they are dogs, but at the same time, they something more than just pets, they have became part of the family it is like they are really are a relative of sorts.
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welshTerrier2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-13-05 07:49 PM
Response to Original message
65. pets as children ...
my dog is treated like a daughter ... the BP used the phrase "pretended to interact with them on an emotional, human level" ...

there's no pretending about it ...

if we want our pets to understand us on a deep emotional level, and we should, we must be who we are when we're with them ... this is not about pretending; this is about being ...

my dog and i have a very deep, caring emotional relationship ... to demean that by suggested that this is some form of substitute for a "real relationship" just fails to understand the reality ...

actually, i often wonder whether people with kids are secretly longing to be dog owners instead ;-) ...
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