Bring your young children close, I have something to say.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

There is no Santa Claus!

:woohoo:

[Sannum]

1. You have ruined my life!!

:evilgrin:

[Radio_Lady]

14. Hey, I was the six-year-old first grader who told all the Christian kids

that Santa Claus was "YOUR PARENTS"!

I think being a Jewish kid carries some responsibilities, doesn't it?

Don't worry, I got beat up a lot for that comment and others during my growing up years. So now, I'm a Unitarian -- everybody can beat me up equally!

[Sannum]

22. LOL.

I was that evil kid too...

I figured "the secret" out at the age of 5, and faked it for two more years:P.

[Teaser]

2. However, the Belschnikel is real

http://www.ety.com/HRP/walshcomments/belsnickel.htm

[Crazy Guggenheim]

3. What the hell is that?

[Teaser]

4. Weird Pennsylvania Dutch/pseudo pagan tradition

The Belschnikel is some weird pagan survival that's fused with the legend of Saint Nick somehow to produce what amounts to a really mean Santa Claus.

He comes to your house every Christmas season and threatens you with his switch, and when he leaves, drops off a few candies and trinkets to make up for the threats.

Generally, one's neighbors dress as the Belscnikel and will lurk outside a child's window for a few days to frighten the child. Then the parent's let the Belschnikel in some night (Dec 22 maybe?) to actually "threaten" the child.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

5. Merry Christmas! OMG!

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. That reminds me of St.Nickolaus day in Germany .

My ex fiance's mom always left me candy and my ex a switch ;)

[liss681]

9. Okaaay....

that kid looks like he's about to piss his pants!

[Wetzelbill]

19. jeezus, that's going to give me nightmares and I'm 30

[Bossy Monkey]

20. Rather similar to the Santa story in the Netherlands, as related by

David Sedaris in his story "Six to Eight Black Men." Here's a link, though you have to sign up for a free 30-day trial, presumably to Esquire: http://www.keepmedia.com/pubs/Esquire/2002/12/01/139613?extID=10026

The key parts are excerpted here, and you don't have to sign up for anything: http://after-words.org/grim/mtarchives/2002/12/Dec091944.shtml

[WCGreen]

23. That is soo cool

That'll teach the little bastard to hope for toys....

I love it....

This guy should be everywhere, all the time, put a break on all this I want I want I want....

What ever happened to good old fashioned Child Labor......

Rick Sanatorium (Rabid-Penn) thinks it would be just peachy to teach children just who is boss when old Belschnikel comes to show them not to make lightof the most sacrid of chistian holiday....

Oh wait, Jesus was born in the spring and didn;t the pagans worship the solstice.....

Oh never mind......

[micrometer_50]

6. My children assert and maintain

that you are a poopie-head adult.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

8. There's no Easter Bunny either!

[Kathleen04]

10. Bummy??

He exists! Who do you think Matcom's bare-assed smiley is?? ;)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

13. Corrected.

[micrometer_50]

21. When I was 5 or 7 I would fall on the floor

for Red Skelton.

Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.

The toth fairy wants your quarters back.

Edit too may e characters.

[khashka]

11. There is no Santa Claus

because God killed him!

Goodnight, kiddies, sweet dreams....

Khash.

[lapfog_1]

17. More like Jesus killed him

"Santa!! This time we finish it!"

[terrya]

12. Here's more bad news...there's no tooth fairy, either!

So, you can throw those disgusting teeth from under your pillows in the trash, kids!

[Radio_Lady]

16. Aw-w-w, baby teeth are cute! They don't even have any roots!

Just kind of a saw-edge that barely holds them in a child's gums. They're meant to break away when the permanent teeth come in.

I always kept them in a little mesh bag, at least until the children got to be about 18. Then I threw them away, and had to deal with the oral surgeon's bills for removal of WISDOM TEETH.

Now, THOSE got expensive, Tooth Fairy or not!

[lapfog_1]

15. But there is a "Santa Claws"

[Wetzelbill]

18. you sick son of a.....

[WCGreen]

24. BTW, Crazy Guggenheim was my favorite

charactor on the Jackie Gleason show.....

Probably the reason I ended up an Alcoholic, but hey, everyine has to have a role model now......

Oh wait, he was my mentor, that's it my mentor