"Every time an *ssh*l* speaks...."

[IdaBriggs]

A message board on I'm on elsewhere posted the following link -- too good NOT to pass on: http://www.livejournal.com/users/the_numinous_1/112947.html

Ida Comments: ROFLMAO!!! :evilgrin:

(begin)

16 June 2005 @ 03:16 pm
The Truth Shall Set You Free - and Shut You Up
The Setting: Barnes & Noble in Hoboken, just about fifteen minutes ago
The Players: Yours Truly, and a pot-bellied, hirsute stranger of the male persuasion

PotBelly sees me in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section, begins slow circling while throwing meaningful glances at me. After several minutes of being steadily ignored, Potbelly oh-so-casually reaches over and grabs book from shelf, just inches from my face. Yours Truly moves away from his sweaty, hairy hand. Bad move. Or, is it?

PotBelly: "Problem?"

Y.Truly: "No."

pause

PotBelly: "Cause you moved away - you have a problem with me?"

Y.Truly: "I thought I was in your way. I didn't mean to offend you. My apologies."

PotBelly: "You know what offends me?" Glances up and down my body. "Why is every chick who reads science fiction so goddamn fat?"

Y.Truly: "You really want to know? Cause I can tell you."

PotBelly: "Yeah, I wanna know."

Y.Truly: Leans in conspiratorially. "Every time an asshole speaks, a woman gains a pound."

Silence.
___________________________________________________

EDIT: Feel free to link, quote, pass along. I'm rarely this witty, so it's worth spreading it around!

(end)

[meegbear]

1. BWAH-HAHAHAHA!

Good one!

[CottonBear]

2. Perfect response! Good for you!

What an ass. What he said to you was beyond rude. I never can come up with such witty responses on the spot when something like that happens.

What was his response? Enquiring minds want to know. :)

[IdaBriggs]

3. I'd love to take credit, but it wasn't me.

It was the person who posted on the blog or whatever. It was sent to an e-mail list I'm on with the heading "Best. Quote. Ever!" and I thought it was funny enough to share. I want to know what happened next, too! :) Best, Ida

[CottonBear]

4. I'll have to remember that line and use a version of it in the future!

:evilgrin: