The Great Commode in the Sky

[Sinistrous]

Let me say, I enjoy yard work, or rather, I enjoy the results of working in my yard. My wife and I just finished spreading the four cubic yards of mulch the garden shop dumped in my driveway on Thursday. The place looks incredible! Sometimes I can’t believe that I live here. My yard looks like the kind of place that rich people have – not one owned by a middle class schmuck as I.

Last year, I had a garden shop install a perennial garden in the back yard, including a small fishpond. This year, that garden is gorgeous. Yellow, gold, pink, and purple, highlighting a lush array of hues of green. My pond seems healthy and clean – the shabunkins and koi feed voraciously. My water lily even bloomed the other day.

My lawn looks like an advertisement for a line of lawn products. But don’t ask me what I did to get it that way. All I do is cut it long and mulch everything back into the grass with my mower. OK, I also have a service that applies fertilizer and weed stuff to the lawn.

Of course, over the past several weeks, I have weeded, edged, weeded, pruned, weeded, thinned, weeded, staked-up, weeded, mowed, weeded, fertilized, weeded, trimmed, weeded, sifted, weeded, watered, weeded, and in a long overdue effort, applied a dose of that garden weed preventer.

So what the hell is my problem? Simply, that I have allowed myself to derive pleasure from what I see outside my window. And I even feel a tinge of pride at what I have been able to achieve. My experience is that allowing myself to enjoy a thing or an achievement, or, heaven forfend, feel pride in that achievement is a prelude to disaster. Hence, the title of this piece: I am now waiting for someone to flush that great commode in the sky, and rain shit on me and my little piece of Eden.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

1. As you speak,

the Giant Killer Mutant Crabgrass Snail Slime Mold Strip Smut Fairy Ring is making its way to your house.