Yankee-Red Sox joke

[bif]

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the
Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless
man, wearing a New York Yankee's jersey, was struggling frantically to
free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men
wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into
the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding,
semi-conscious Yankee fan from the water. Then using (autographed Nomar)
baseball bats, the three heroes in red beat the shark to death and hauled
it into the boat also.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you
my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was
some bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but now I have seen
with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has
access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he
doesn't know crap about shark fishing.... how's the bait holding up?"

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. LOL!

I like it!

[Loonman]

2. Four Fans

Four baseball fans, each from a major league city, are climbing a mountain.
On the way to the top, each is arguing about how loyal they are to their team and what they would do for their team.

As the climb progresses, the odds increase. Upon reaching the top, the Mets fan shouts, "This is for the Mets," and hurls himself off the top.

Next the Brave fan yells, "I love Atlanta, this is for the Braves," and hurls himself off the mountain.

Suddenly the Red Sox fan yells "This is for everyone," and pushes the Yankees fan off .

[commander bunnypants]

3. wow

that is a great joke

DDQM

[Caution]

4. LOL

that made my day :) thanks.

[MissMillie]

5. Crime and Punishment

A Boston Red Sox fan, a Chicago Cubs fan and a NY Yankees fan were all
in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the US Army. While off
base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they were sentenced to death!

With the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, "It's my 1st wife's birthday today,
and she has asked me to allow each one of you one wish before your
whipping".

The cubs fan was 1st in line (he had drunk the least), so he
thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The cubs fan was carried away bleeding and crying.

The Yankees fan was up next (he almost finished an entire 5th by
himself), and after watching the scene, said "OK please fix 2 pillows to my back." But even 2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan crying like a baby.

The Red Sox fan was the last up ( he had finished off the crate- given his allegiance, who could blame him), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said "you support the greatest baseball team in the world, your supporters are the best and most loyal fans in all the world. For this you may have 2 wishes"

"Thanks, your most royal highness'" the Red Sox fan replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes". "Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave," said the Sheik. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Shiek asks.. To which the Red Sox fan replied... "Tie the Yankee fan to my back."

[bif]

8. Nice one

n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. LOL!

I love it! I was expecting an anti-red sox ending, so that surprise made it even more humorous.

[WindRavenX]

6. How are the Red Sox like Daylights savings?

Answer: They SPRING ahead and FALL behind
(I know. Lame.)

[underpants]

7. My favorite Pope joke

The Pope is in DC and as his car is pulling away from the curb he says to the driver, "Ya know I never get to drive. Can I drive?"

The driver doesn't know what to say except "Yes of course anything you want"

The Pope floors it and is fishtailing and hauling a** through the city. He runs a red light and a cop pulls him over.

The cop walks up to the driver side window and taps on it with his maglight. The window comes down and the shocked cop sees who it is he looks around the limo and sees the driver sitting in the back.

The cop says, "Uh give me a minute" and walks back to his patrol car.

"Hey chief I pulled someone over but I don't think I can give him a ticket"

"Why not?" asks the chief.

"Well he's REALLY important"

The chief asks "Is it a Senator?"

"No" replies the cop "More important than that"

"Is........is it the President?" asks the chief

"No more important than that"

"Who is more important than the President? Who is it?!?!?" asks the chief

The cop replies "I'm not sure but the POPE is driving him around"

[yankeedem]

9. What's the difference between Yankee franks and Fenway Franks

You can get Yankee franks in October.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Oh, brutal! Brutal!

I love it!

[bif]

13. Good one!

.

[KamaAina]

12. Mom's revenge against the Bronx Bozos

So she's left the place in the East Seventies and has headed off with RepukeMan to the weekend place on the Jersey Shore. (We did get the cats placed, by the way!) They're food shopping down there (cheaper, y'know) when she sees two cardboard cutouts, representing Messrs. Soriano and Giambi, in the aisles.

At this point I asked her how she knew they were cardboard cutouts. They seemed every bit as lifelike as the real McCoys did standing in the batter's box with their bats welded to their shoulders against all those Triple-A prospects. But I digress...

Resisting the urge to draw mustaches on them and maybe blacken a few teeth, Mom went up to the register and asked for a couple of paper bags. She then went back up the aisle and proceeded to cover the Soriano and Giambi heads with said bags, New Orleans Saints-style!!

While this by no means makes up for yet another victory parade in Jebbieland!, to say nothing of the congressional resolution :puke: , it was, you must admit, rather entertaining...

[Loonman]

14. Yankee Jokes

Q: What has 400 feet and 3 teeth?
A: The first row of the bleachers at Yankee Stadium.




Yankee Stamps
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Yankees players on them ...people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.




Yankee Fans on a Bike
Q: If you see a Yankees fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: There's a good chance it's your bicycle.




Yankee fans and Sperm
Q: What do Yankees fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.




Yankees in the Sand
Q: What do you have when 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.




Dead Dog and a Yankee Fan
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Yankees fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

[ArkDem]

15. The joke would be more true to life if the bait

was a Red Sox fan.