Kids! GRrrrrRRrrrr! (Advice appreciated)

[Maddy McCall]

God all this social shit just drives me up that wall. My kid's best friend, who's been kind of distant the past month or so, lied to him and told him that he didn't have a birthday party, but my son found out from other kids that he did, when the other kids asked him why he wasn't at "John's" birthday party.

Kinda hurts my feelings, too, because this kid has been like a part of our family.

I'm taking my son to see Def Leppard in July, and all of the sudden he's trying to be my son's best friend all the time. I'm sure he regrets not inviting my son to his b'day party, now. (And I can't afford to take the extra kid, anyway--but would probably had made sacrifices to take him if he's not lied to my son.)

This shit is infuriating and so complex. How'd I ever make it through adolescence???

(I stay out of my kid's friendships, and I usually let little shit pass, but this one just pissed me off.)


:shrug:

[MuseRider]

1. That kind of crap

is just really hard to take. It continues for a while until your kid all of a sudden does his own WTF? and then they take it from there. Pisses you off doesn't it?

OK, I am going to hijack for just a moment. I was sitting here looking at LBN when I heard this god awful noise outside. 2 Guineas from who knows where were cruising my front yard. I immediately thought of you. I went out and called to them. They would come within 5 feet and then run. I never knew they were so fast. They have been gone and back about 5 times in the last hour or so. I really would like to go snatch them but.......

[Maddy McCall]

2. Get some wild game feed from your feed store...

and start putting it out for them. Then they'll hang out at your place and keep your yard rid of ticks and other bad insects, and even snakes.

:hi:

Yeah, my son had his WTF moment awhile ago, when he said, "I'm sick of John lying to me all the time. He thinks I'm stupid."

Kids.

[MuseRider]

3. Good for your son.

That will make it much easier for the both of you.

I have some wild game feed at the farm, I will bring some home. I like snakes though, :cry: but the ticks are bad this year. Are they OK with predators? They seem pretty darned smart and tough. We have a lot of coyotes and a few bobcats.

[Maddy McCall]

4. They can fly. They'll fly up in a tree or to a housetop...

to get away from a predator.

[MuseRider]

6. Thanks,

Good, I won't worry then. If they belong to someone they can come and get them then, otherwise they can stay here until my husband freaks. He isn't too keen on anything that messes with his agenda (naps) so Shhhhhhhhhhh, we won't tell him I am feeding them. Usually that is how I get things done around here anyway :).

[Maddy McCall]

8. LOL!

Well, the good thing is that they are awesome "watchdogs" and will alert you anytime anything is not right around the house.

:D

[JVS]

5. Wait until both kids are in your house and then confront the little SOB

in front of your son. Demand an explanation!

[Maddy McCall]

7. This is going to sound REALLY shallow of me...

but I have spent so much money and time on this kid. He spent the night at our home EVERY weekend until about a month ago, and then all of the sudden he had other things to do.

His house is crises central, so I never felt that tit-for-tat was important as far as my son never spending the night over there...my kid only spent the night there once.

The kid does lie. I've caught him lying to me several times, but I never said anything. But for him to shut out my son like this just sucks.

Anyway, we hadn't heard for him in a while, until the night of his birthday (after the guests had left), when he called to tell us it was his birthday. I basically thought it was more of a "what are you getting me for my birthday" call.

I haven't talked about any of this in front of my kid, but it just pisses me off to see him be mistreated, especially after our family treating this child like he was one of us.

:(

thanks for letting me rant.

[MuseRider]

9. Not shallow at all.

It is apparent that his parents have not taught him anything about being a good citizen or a good friend. How old are they? I always gave the kids a break until they reached an age or otherwise maturity that I could see that they knew better but made the choice to be assholes. At that point I cut all the ties that I could as a parent and just counciled my kids if they needed it.

[Maddy McCall]

10. Long story.

They have been near divorce several times. She's pretty self-absorbed, and the husband works out of town. Separate lives in the same house, if that makes sense?

But the kid has always been such a sweetie, all faults aside. It hurts my heart because I had grown to love him as one of my own. He even called me Mommy #2...that's how close we were.

And he was my son's very best friend. Very best.

:(

[MuseRider]

11. That certainly complicates the

issue.

Can you forgive his behavior enough to be an influence? He might really respond well if you speak to him. I am just thinking out loud here, I am sure you have tried all of this.

We had a few kids like that whose parents would drop them off and not even be home for 2 or 3 days and we would be stuck with the kid. Loved the kid but that was pretty freaky. He may be learning some really manipulative behavior just to get attention at home and perhaps that was what this was about.

It always hurts, especially when our kids get hurt.

[Maddy McCall]

12. That's pretty much the way it was with him.

Here all weekend.

Yeah, it's probably a learned behavior. And of course I can forgive it. I'm just such a freak about honesty--I don't lie to people, and I HATE being lied to. And I've taught my son not to lie.

My son had been feeling ostracized, like I said, for about a month. His bud not inviting him to the bday party was just the icing on the cake, for him, and for me.

(I had bought the kid two presents, worth about $50 together. My son gave him the smaller present, and now I am stuck with a Darth Vadar Voice Changing Mask. I told my son that his friend would get the second gift when he visits next time. That's probably shitty holding a gift over his head like that, but, dammit!)