DU please your input on this

[Andy_Stephenson]

Wonk has been working on a website for me...

We would like your input...tell us what you think.

Thank in Advance

Andy

http://wonk.globalfreepress.com/DU/AndyS/index.html

[TakebackAmerica]

1. Nice site.

Go kick Sam Reed's sorry ASS.

[Andy_Stephenson]

12. Yes Sir!

will do...

[BurtWorm]

2. GBnC, this is a brilliant campaign!

Even if you don't win, I hope to god you get people talking about this issue. Well-written introduction to the issue, too.

[Andy_Stephenson]

13. I may not win...

But the message will!

[alexwcovington]

3. Nice...

A little colour never hurt :P but then campaign sites are too loaded up with red and blue. Still, maybe a nice header graphic...

[Wonk]

6. It's still bare bones on page two. There's more to come.

Suggestions are welcome :-)

[mdmc]

21. How hard is it to contribute on line?

perhaps add a secure page...
a resume...
some pictures of the family...
looks good!

[Don_G]

4. Looks Pretty Good

But why does it open up two different windows on my IE 6/XP OS/Dell 2.8 GHz notebook?

[dreissig]

5. Too Chatty

You need to make your points more concisely and in a bigger font. Nobody's going to read all this.

Navigation is somewhat unclear.

Pic of candidate is good.

[mdmc]

22. I didn't read it all

perhaps voters won't either...

[seaglass]

29. I agree about the text. Maybe bullet points with a paragraph

or a few sentences under each point or at least headline the main ideas with a big bolder font. Maybe add some white space.

[Andy_Stephenson]

7. Yall are the experts...

I am working on my first speech so I will be chacking in...

But knock your selves out! I trust you

Oh how about this copy


"Andy Stephenson is a citizen advocate, grassroots organizer, and successful businessman. He has fought for economic and social justice; for an end to violence against children; and for an investment in healthcare, public education and housing needs. He is a strong supporter of women’s health issues and of their right to choose. Andy also understands the needs of small businessmen; he has earned numerous awards and citations for his work as an entrepreneur.

His reasons for running for Secretary of State are simple: He believes in the sanctity of the vote. He has done research on voting machines similar to the ones being deployed in Washington State and finds them lacking, and the secretary of state position has more influence over voting integrity than any other. The current Washington secretary of state has supported the absence of a paper ballot, secret code and has failed to adequately address questions of security. "All Washington voters need to know that their true vote will be counted and make a difference," says Stephenson.

Or the shorter shorter version:

Andy Stephenson is a citizen advocate who has earned numerous awards and citations for his work as an entrepreneur. He understands the needs of the small business community. Stephenson's reasons for running for Secretary of State are simple: He believes in the sanctity of the vote. The secretary of state position has more influence over voting integrity than any other. The current Washington secretary of state has supported the absence of a paper ballot, secret code and has failed to adequately address questions of security. Stephenson has done research on voting machines like those deployed in Washington State and finds them lacking, and vows to regain all citizen's right to a paper ballot."

[Nevernose]

9. Both of those are excellent (n/t)

n/t

[Andy_Stephenson]

11. My "publicist"

aka Bev Harris...did those from stuff I provided.

[Nevernose]

8. Grammar Police, checking in with Andy

All apologies for going totally psycho-English teacher on you. But you asked for honest input. If I were giving this a letter grade, you would get an A-plus for content; you 've got a simple, well-written, and informed way of getting your messge out. There are, however, soem grammatical errors that a Democrat running for office and making a sales-pitch should probably avoid.

1. I didn't really understand the opening graphic, specifically the "suspect" part at the bottom.

2. Solid, simple layout on the main page. Liked it.

3. Nice picture.

4. If it were me, I would put the title in a bigger font and on two lines.

5. I like the plain white background and the lack of cheesy effects.

6. Last line of the first paragraph ("I wonder if Sam Reed the Current Secretary of State believes the same.") needs either commas or double-hyphens before/after "the current Secretary of State."

7. Same place, "current" shouldn't be capitalized.

8. Third paragraph -- comma after "When we look further..."

9. Same paragraph -- no colon or semi-colon.

10. Same paragraph -- "David Dill, a Stanford University..." and a comma between "public attention" and "says."

11. Same sentence -- close the quote.

12. Fourth paragraph -- is this a quote, and whom does it belong to?

13. Fifth paragraph -- A period is needed between "with another" and "this patch." Two sentences.

14. Sixth paragraph -- after the colon, you're SUPPOSED to use semi-colons, not commas. I never liked the way that looked, though, but the capitals don't look quite right, either. It's not standard, so it's a little distracting. Maybe commas instead of semi-colons, and no caps?

14. What's "the Australian system?"

15. Take out the @ sign and just use the word "at."

[Andy_Stephenson]

10. the last line should be edited out completely.

or I could put the australian system info there.

Thank God I have a psycho English Teacher editing me. I may act like oscar wilde...but I don't write nearly as well.

[greatauntoftriplets]

20. Thanks, Argumentus. I was going to make the same points.

[RebelOne]

23. As a copyeditor, I have discovered a few more changes

could stand to be changed.

1st paragraph
I believe after "Thomas Paine said it best," there should be a colon.

2nd paragraph
First sentence should either be written as "From the office of the Secretary of State's online publication" or " From the Secretary of State office's online publication"

Same paragraph
No comma after " voter mistakes" and a comma after Sam Reed,

3rd paragraph
second line -- after the word "including" a colon

Same paragraph
a comma after says, "I've tried

Same paragraph
lower case computer science

Next to last paragraph
lower case publication

These are just a few, but I haven't really given it a thorough read.

[Andy_Stephenson]

24. OK here is the edited version with all

suggested changes.

I believe the right to a secret secure ballot is the most important right we have. I decided to run for Secretary of State because of that belief. Thomas Paine said it best: "The right of voting for representatives is the primary right by which all other rights are protected. To take away that right is to reduce man to slavery.” I wonder if Sam Reed, the current Secretary of State, believes the same.

From the Secretary of States Office’s online publication we learn, “Electronic voting improves security, reduces the number of voter mistakes and helps insure every citizen the right to a secret ballot," so says Sam Reed, Secretary of State. I guess two out of three isn’t bad.

When we look further, Mr. Reed cites a California study whose veracity has been questioned by a number of prominent computer experts including, Bruce Schneier, founder and chief technology officer of Counterpane Internet Security in San Jose, who says he's ``terrified'' about the prospect of voting with the current lineup of paperless DRE machines. ``Building technology that allows people to untraceably rig the vote seems like a bad idea,'' he says. David Dill, a Stanford University computer science professor who has worked hard to bring this issue to public attention says “I've tried to find out, what kind of testing that goes on in these companies is something we don't know. They won't tell us a thing about their code or what they do to test it”. More on Professor Dill can be found at www.verifiedvoting.org . Ed Felten, Computer science professor at Princeton University calls these machines ``black boxes'' -- opaque to scrutiny and potentially subject, as Schneier notes, to tampering.

I am particularly aggrieved by software companies which are privately owned and refuse to make their code public. Mr. Reed completely overlooks the possibility that tampering capacity can be built into the software in the first place.
Incredibly, this software keeps not one, but two Microsoft Access data tables of voting results. It's like a business keeping two sets of account books. The two tables are notionally identical copies of the votes collated from all polling stations. The software uses the first table for on-demand reports which might uncover alteration of the data --such as spot checks of results from individual polling stations. The second of the two tables is the one used to determine the election result. But the second table can be hacked and altered to produce fake election totals without affecting spot check reports derived from the first table."
Georgia is "hardest hit by the growing Diebold scandal," said Bev Harris, author of Black Box Voting: Ballot-Tampering in the 21st Century. On election night 2002, 67 memory cards with thousands of votes went missing in Fulton County, Harris reports. The loss of memory cards is comparable to lost ballot boxes.
Right before the election in Georgia, an unexamined program 'patch' was hastily installed on the 22,000 Diebold voting machines across the state. A patch inserts a 'program fix' into the existing code.
One of the folders found on the Diebold ftp site was one named 'rob-georgia.' This folder contained patch files that instructed the computer to replace the existing GEMS program with another. This “patch” was not inspected nor certified prior to the 2002 election.
The voters of Washington demand the following safeguards for any electronic system that their tax dollars buy: Random inspection of computer voting machines after the election; Publication of the software code; and Paper 'ballots' given to each voter to inspect upon completion of his voting; to be then deposited in a 'backup' ballot box.

[imax2268]

14. looks great...

one thing though...not to down it or anything...but I would lose the border around the picture on the index page...just add...border="0"...in the image source line...I think that would look cool...the edges on the images will blend into the white background...

And you should put your name of something at the top of the page...

anyway...looks great...Wonk's the man...!

[Wonk]

15. What web browser are you using? nt

[imax2268]

16. IE6

fully updated...

in fact...I always see a blue line around your signature picture...

[Don_G]

18. IE 6

For now...

[dsc]

17. Who is paying for your website

I don't see any standard disclaimers. I don't know your state's laws on this but in Ohio unless you are directly paying for it you need to state "paid for by the Committee to elect Bob Smith, dogcatcher Jack Jones treasurer"

[Wonk]

19. He hasn't paid me a dime, nor does he owe me anything.

I had the idea for the splash page graphic a few days ago and probably would have done it anyway but it also works great for his site so I'll let him use it, and the html for page two only took a few minutes.

For any other details about hosting and whatnot you'll have to ask Andy. I think he's gone to bed for tonight, though.

on edit: the current incarnation of it is on my server, but it'll be moved to his fairly soon.

[bif]

25. How about a white background?

The grey is a tad dull.

[BlueJazz]

26. Slight criticism......

I noticed your front graphic is 53,000+ ....
You might want to compress images as you go or you'll wind up with
a slow-loading page.
It doesn't matter to those of us that have broadband of DSL but
dial-up folks can (and will) go somewhere else if page is loading to slow. :)

A good one is u-lead Pro-Saver....but a lot of others are fine also and free.

[Aristus]

27. Hi, Andy! I like the site!

It's good to put a face to you at last. I plan on dropping by your store next time I'm in Seattle. How often do you work there? Needless to say, you have my vote, but I'd like to make a contribution,as well.

[Wickerman]

28. Looks real good Andy

Give 'em hell! Love the content, might consider have having some teaser paragraphs that link to the complete text as I don't think you'll get most of your audience through the complete text. A line or two statement of each topic point that gives the main idea, then a link to the larger description. Just a thought, I like it, I love that you are running. - and a great site, Wonk!.

[RebelOne]

30. I agree. Looks really great now!

[Snow]

31. I'm looking at it with Opera, and it looks good...

I like the improvements suggested - they, ummmm, improve things considerably. Tin-foil hat time.....there's a large software company in Washington, so I hear - do they have any interest in BBV issues - would they react badly and perhaps surreptiously to your campaign?

[Andy_Stephenson]

32. Who cares if they do?

your vote is too important to really worry about what they think...wouldn't you say?

[Snow]

33. Agree absolutely, completely, and thoroughly

I'm not suggesting you try to make nicey with them, I think they're generally irrelevant to your campaign, etc. But, I think I may not have expressed my point very well. If they have an interest in seeing BBV go forward, they may sneakily come after you - big bucks to your opponent, ninjas sent to beat you up, what-have-you. It's always better to be aware of thes things, eh? That's why I was wondering if they would have an interest.....

[Andy_Stephenson]

34. All I have to say is...

Bring em on