Headlines We'd Like To Read, May 15, 2005

[skip fox]

Syria Blames Rice For Iraqi Violence


Powell Writes Tell-All On Neo-Cons, "Traitors to Consciousness"



others????

[Hugin]

1. Breaking News: Fox News cut in BRAC.

I can dream can't I?

[Zuni]

2. Uzbekistanis pissed they live in Uzbekistan

[Zuni]

3. Bush urges new oil drilling, everywhere

[Q3JR4]

4. Um....

G.W.* and Cheney indicted for war crimes.

If we're going to make shit up, we may as well MAKE IT UP.

:P

[skip fox]

5. Fox News Teams Up With Cartoon Network

new type of merger, toon hosts, roundtables with Three Stooges slap-stick humor, Marx Bros. routines for headlines, etc.

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. Jesus returns, puts fundamentalist zealots of all stripes into celestial

time out.

[DrDebug]

7. Bush answers questions about UK memo calls for impeachment are growing n/t

[Zuni]

8. Free sushi being served in Lounge today!! yay

:bounce:

[Zuni]

9. Rumsfeld forced to undergo painful body cavity search

[Zuni]

10. Runaway Bride to be J. Lo's 2008 running mate in Pres election

[skip fox]

11. Bush Still Optimistic on Social Security, Judges, Bolton, Schiavo and WMDs

:toast:

[CBHagman]

12. DC RATS CONSUME BUSH, CHENEY, SPARE LAURA.

"They tasted sort of like chicken," said a participating rat in an interview with DC journalist and activist Mark Plotkin."

[Hugin]

13. Newsweek Magazine apologizes for everything they've ever printed.

But, they're especially sorry for Time Magazine's
Ann Coulter cover.

Hmm... The news is still all about them? I wonder
how many Afghanis have subscriptions anyway?

[skip fox]

14. Powell on Bush: "Human Spam"

:toast:

[mongo]

15. Supreme Court overturns adult obscenity laws.

Municipalities told to treat adult business like any other commercial establishment.

[maveric]

16. "W" creates new cabinet position. Neal Horsely sec. of Animal Husbandry.

[skip fox]

17. Newsweek Vies For Official Newsmagazine of Administration

:toast:

[Guy Fawkes]

18. WISCONSIN CHEESE CAUSES IMMORTALTIY