What is up with my friend?

[Radical Activist]

She's so odd sometimes. We'll spend a few days in a row hanging out getting along great, and then all of a sudden she won't return my calls for a week. Then she calls up like it was nothing and we hang out frequently until the next time she decides to stop calling. We can along great as far as I can tell. She isn't dating anyone and doesn't have a lot of other friends in this town, like me.

My ego would let me believe she's acting odd because she's attracted to me, but everytime I flirt or make a joke on the square about us getting together she shoots me down pretty quick. What on earth? I wonder if I'm doing something to piss her off or if she's just an odd bird. :shrug:

I really don't have much reason to post this other than thinking out loud...online. I'm not too worried about it and I don't expect anyone to know what's up any more than I do.

[demnan]

1. In my experience

when people act like this they really don't like you. You're just the last resort (been there, done that) Don't waste your time, is all I've got to say.

[Radical Activist]

5. You know, we've known eachother for years

but haevn't always lived in the same place or kept in touch. She has been a last resort friend/date for me before and I think you're probably right. We both treat eachother that way sometimes. Oh well. I'm in a new town and I'll make new friends soon.

[Heidi]

2. Have you asked her

what's up? That's what I'd do.

[Joe Kerr]

3. "Subject field must not be blank"

What's her political affiliation?

[Radical Activist]

4. liberal Dem like me

[WindRavenX]

6. people act batty

You know, I don't know if should say anything but that :P

[fleabert]

7. I have had friends like that.

in fact I have friends that live across the country that won't return my calls for months (not that i call every day or anything, like once every two-three weeks or so) and then when they do call, it's like not a day has passed, and they love me to death. We may talk once a week for a bit, then trail off again.

I think some people are just like that. Whether it is hanging out in person, emailing, or calling, some types of people just need a lot of space. I'd accept that unless they tell you something is wrong, nothing is wrong. Enjoy the time you do spend together and don't take it personally unless they give you a good reason to. :-)

[LSdemocrat]

8. Maybe she puts no significance whatsoever in not getting in touch

That may just be normal for her.

[REP]

9. Sounds Like She Likes You as a Friend and Doesn't Want to Be Hit On

You said then when you flirt with her, she shoots you down. It could be that she likes you well enough as a friend, but you coming on to her makes her uncomfortable, and she wants to make sure she's not giving out any signals that could indicate that she wants to be hit on.

[IChing]

10. I agree

What are the boundaries for each other?

Or have they been discussed
or just insinuated?

[Radical Activist]

12. No, that's not it.

There's no correlation between us not hanging out and me flirting with her on the rare occasions that I do. I'm not harassing her.

[NuttyFluffers]

11. sounds like a lovable flake, just like me!

we're great fun! we hang out, we enliven parties, we drop off the face of the earth periodically for no apparent reason, great fun.

i'd say social butterfly, but you said she's not all that social. introverted social butterfly with fears of commitment (and great fashion sense -- for other people, 'cause lord knows my bank account can't afford those shoes which are to die for, but damn it if you just can't live off of being fabulous... wait... where was i...

umm, have a great time one night and then give 'em a hug or hold hands or ask to kiss her in the moonlight (or swab her tonsils, what do i know?). no risky, no frisky. might as well ask/try, right?

[Radical Activist]

13. Yeah, she may just be flaky.

Not returning phone calls isn't very cool though.