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I'm a 26 y.o. male virgin, ask me anything

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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:09 AM
Original message
I'm a 26 y.o. male virgin, ask me anything
And I'm not a virgin because I *want* to be one... I want to get laid... and I'm not weird or terribly ugly or anything... but I have absolutely no luck with women.

-ll
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Closer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:17 AM
Response to Original message
1. Try men
:-)
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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #1
8. I did, briefly
I have to say they're easier than women. But me not being gay makes it unsustainable as a long-term way of doing things.

-ll
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Liberator_Rev Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
2. Why are you so SELF-absorbed ?
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:19 AM
Response to Original message
3. Why not go to a "professional"?
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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #3
9. I think prostitution is exploitative
where it isn't legal. (It's not exploitative where it's legal, IMHO, but I live far from Nevada.)

-ll
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liberalnurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:24 AM
Response to Original message
4. Well, you can shop for a lassie
at the grocery store or laundry mat.....Look for ones with kids. Of course they should not be married....thats a life hazzard....if you know what I mean.


Single girls with children are a bit more open minded to looking at ones "inner soul" and wallet. You need not be rich, just stable and kind. It goes a long way. At be coy, not insecure ....remember, you are a catch...play that in your head........

Nurses are easy too. I know that from experience. :)
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Closer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:31 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. LOL at Liberalnurse
I think I smell a match shapin up here ;-)
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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:05 AM
Response to Reply #4
10. I'm actually quite attracted to girls with kids
but I'm not sure I'd be doing the right thing by getting involved with them, unless it was a long-term thing. I don't think it can be quite healthy for kids to see their mother dating a string of men. So I'm kind of wary of dating one unless there would be a significant chance of me marrying her. Maybe I'm thinking too much though.

-ll
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SPICYHOT Donating Member (345 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #10
20. danm!
you are too good to be true! if you are virgin and you wanna get laid go to a club
you will find some nice girl that that will go with you to your home.
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La_Serpiente Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
6. You can share this person's experience
Edited on Sat Oct-25-03 10:34 AM by La_Serpiente
http://www.kaleo.org/vnews/display.v/ART/2003/10/10/3f8656f23a42b?in_archive=1

(Taken from my college Newspaper)

Look for attraction not ease

Mayu Arita
Ka Leo Staff Columnist
October 10, 2003


(Beggining of Question) Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me for another guy. It didn't leave me devastated but it did cause me to do a lot of thinking. Up until now, my experiences with women have not exactly been anything to brag about, especially with my abilities to attract them being few. Quite frankly, I'm growing a bit tired at having to sell myself in order to get one. I am beginning to believe that a relationship with a man would be a lot more appealing, and the potential rate of success becomes more attractive as days go by. I'm at a very big crossroads in my life and would really appreciate any help you can give me. Sophomore, Psychology (End of question)

You are in the midst of a decision that can be life changing. I think you have a few things to analyze.

Firstly, have you always had these thoughts about being in a relationship with a man? If these thoughts are new, what triggered it? Are these feelings just temporary reactions to a particular incident? Sometimes when relationships end suddenly because a person found somebody new, the person left behind can feel crushed. This is completely normal because in most cases it may have been unexpected. Feelings of depression and loneliness will arise and self-questioning begins. You start to question what went wrong in the relationship and whether it was something that you did to make him/her leave. Among the questions you ask yourself, you may be wondering where you go from here and what is in store for you in the future.

Before you think about getting into a new relationship, regardless of if it's with a man or a woman, you need time to heal from the last relationship. It is unhealthy to jump into a new relationship because it may just become a rebound.

Secondly, do you really see yourself as emotionally, mentally and physically compatible with another man? Go beyond the fact that you can attract them easier than a woman. Are you attracted to them? Just because your potential for success with men may be easier than women, that is not a good enough reason to start a relationship. If we always ventured into what was easy for us, then that would take away the challenge of life.

Sometimes the road less traveled can be the more exciting one. Who's to say that your next relationship with a man may be successful? All relationships, heterosexual and homosexual, deal with all the same things. There are going to be good and bad times. Some work out and some don't. A cycle of bad relationships could mean something in us needs to change.

Unfortunately, when we first meet people we have interest in, everyone tries to sell him or herself. You want a person to be attracted to you beyond physical aspects. Thus, many of us act "fake" in order to portray our best assets and give a good first impression. That's why after time, we notice certain personality traits that begin to surface and show their true colors.

But by then, we are willing to put up with it because feelings have grown stronger. Whether you date a man or woman, you're going to try to sell yourself to some extent so they want to be in a relationship with you. If through all this, your curiosity has grown and all you think about is getting into a relationship with a man, then try it.. The only way to know how genuine your feelings are may be to try it for yourself. Be prepared to experience some negative criticism from your choice by friends, family and strangers. Regrettably, we still live in a society where homosexuality is not fully accepted. But don't let this stop you.

If this is what you want and you know it will make you happy, then do it. Evidently, your happiness is the most important thing as long as you're not hurting a lot of people in the process. The only way to live is to be who you are.

If you need advice on a problem, e-mail me anonymously at advice@kaleo.org just leave your year and major.


This comic cracked me up.

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Cat Atomic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 10:42 AM
Response to Original message
7. You just need beer.
Clean up, dress casual but stylish. Go to a bar. Have a few beers.

Next thing you know you'll be waking up next to someone you don't want to talk to.

C'est facile.
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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #7
12. I've done that, but I'll try again
I've done that (gone to a bar alone, without buddies, just to pick up chicks) a couple of times. It's somewhat boring when it doesn't work. However it'll be well worth it if it does work. So I'll try it again.

-ll
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Cat Atomic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:25 AM
Response to Reply #12
17. Yeah, it's like fishing.
You might have to sit there awhile before anything nibbles. So to speak.
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NightTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:07 AM
Response to Original message
11. Just remember what Henry Miller wrote...

"It's better to be alone than with someone who doesn't understand you."

Boy, if I didn't learn that lesson the hard way...!
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Breezy du Nord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:16 AM
Response to Original message
13. WHAT, I ask you, is the meaning of life?
Hmm?
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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. Getting laid?
OK, what's the correct answer?
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Breezy du Nord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:20 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. Don't ask me. I'm a high school virgin
I thought 26 yearolds were ENLIGHTENED, dammit!

Oh well. I guess I shouldn't've expected much.
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WildClarySage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
16. My question is, if you're a 26 yr old virgin,
why are you calling yourself "Lucky"?:shrug:
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luckyluke Donating Member (186 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #16
21. Because...
...I'm not a 26 y.o. virgin starving kid in some African country.

(see Kamika's post below for explanation)

-ll
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Kamika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
18. How can you care about that!
When there are millions of starving children in some african country!
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
19. If you're having "no luck" with women
ask a female friend (maybe the wife or girlfriend of one of your male friends) to ask how you come across.

One important fact that I've learned in my life is that women are not good judges of what appeals to men, and men are not good judges of what appeals to women. I have sometimes been surprised to hear men say that so-and-so is hot, because to me she looks perfectly ordinary. I have no idea what it is they're picking up on.

Similarly, I've heard men wonder why some guy always has women fluttering around him, because he's skinny or fat or short or bald or dresses frumpy or has acne, and therefore, according to the male perspective, should be spending Saturday nights alone. Yet I look at the guy and see his sweet smile or hear his delightful sense of humor or notice the devilish glint in his eyes, and I, too, find him attractive.

So ask a female friend for advice. I don't know you, so I can't be your advisor, but I hope there's some platonic woman friend who can tell you what kind of signals you are unconsciously sending out.

I'm speaking from experience. I asked the husband of a friend for advice when my social life was at a standstill, and he told me a lot of things that I never would have thought of on my own--and he was absolutely right.
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Cush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
22. I'm a 26 y.o. male virgin by choice
Edited on Sat Oct-25-03 01:35 PM by Cush
that help any?
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SmileyBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. We're in the same boat, man. I'm 21, same deal.
I really don't have to ask you anything, cause I know everything on what you're going through.

Sorry.:grouphug:
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Feanorcurufinwe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
24. What's your favorite hand lotion?
No, seriously, hang in there. It'll happen.
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NicoleM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
25. Have you tried
personal ads, either placing or responding to one? Not necessarily just for sex. You could say you are an SM seeking LTR. If nothing else is working, maybe it's time to try something new.
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populistmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 03:50 PM
Response to Original message
26. I have no clue or advice
Edited on Sat Oct-25-03 04:01 PM by populistmom
Being a women (and a reasonably cute and nice one), I've had my options open since puberty. Doesn't mean I didn't make my my share of mistakes though along the way. Any nice women out there available to have pity on you and help you out a bit? If not, I'm a firm believer in there's someone for everyone, usually a few someones who'd fit the bill.
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markses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-25-03 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
27. Best college pick-up line
Edited on Sat Oct-25-03 04:04 PM by markses
The best one I ever pulled off was the old classic.

I sidled up to a nice looking lady (ah, Melissa) past 1 on a Saturday night, at one of the college bars. Cool as hell, sidelong glance, in a low tone, damn near a whisper, I said "I wanna fuck you stupid."

Hell, it hit. Was performing said act within the hour! And that was mutual booty call for the better part of my junior year (and once during the next summer, despite both being otherwise engaged at home).

Point being: It's a fucking numbers game, champ. You gotta jump jump jump jump jump. You'll hit eventually. ;-)
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