A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"

[Cannikin]

[matcom]

1. THAT'S not Ann Coulter

you fucked up the joke

[Cannikin]

3. Thats weird. I really did almost use Coulter

[EstimatedProphet]

2. 2 nuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

[dean_dem]

4. A skeleton walks into a bar...

says, "Bartender, get me a beer and a mop!"

I frickin' love that joke.

[skygazer]

5. A guy and his dog walk into a bar

The bartender says, "Hey, no dogs allowed in here!"

The guy says, "Yeah, but this is a special dog. This dog can talk."

"Sure," the bartender says, "prove it."

So the guy turns to the dog and asks him, "Rover, what do you call the covering on top of a house?"

And the dog says, "Roof!"

"Oh, that's bullshit!" the bartender says. "Get out!"

"No, wait, let me ask him something else," the guy says. "Rover, what's my wife's name?"

And the dog says, "Roof!"

"Okay, now, that's it," yells the bartender. "OUT!"

"C'mon," the guy says. "One more question. Rover, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"

And the dog says, "Roof!"

The bartender slams his fist on the bar and yells, "OUT! And don't come back, ya fucking loony!"

So the guy heads out the door but just before they walk out the dog looks at him and says, "Gee, maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio."

[bvar22]

6. A termite flies into a bar and asks...

"Where is the bartender?"

[Richardo]

9. Pretty sure the punchline is: "Is the bar tender here?"

;-)

[Deja Q]

7. 'Why the long face?' 'because of shrinkage'

:wow:

[yellowcanine]

8. Much better looking than Coulter. I applaud your decision to use an

actual horse. We can see pictures of Ann Coulter anytime, how often do we see a beautiful horse? To imply that Ann Coulter looks like a horse is insulting to horses.

[leftofthedial]

10. Celine Dion walks into a bar, bartender says why the long face?

[UrbScotty]

11. Three guys meet in a bar with a robot bartender.

The robot bartender asks each of them their IQ.

Guy #1 says his is 150. So he and the bot discuss quantum mechanics, the theory of relativity, etc.

Guy #2 gives an IQ of 100. He finds himself discussing the NBA playoffs with the bartender.

Guy #3 says his is 50. To which the robot says...




(wait for it)










(keep waiting)







(here it comes)

"Well, what is it luike to be President?"

[Richardo]

12. The Governor of Louisiana from 1928 to 1932 walks into a bar...

The bartender says: Why the Long face?

[Hobarticus]

17. Cerebral humor...I can dig it....

[Richardo]

20. ;-)

:thumbsup: Hobarticus

[johnnie]

13. Dirty joke

Two pigs fell in the mud
Three came out.

I thought that was funny when I was a wee lad.

[ComerPerro]

14. The horse answers "Never mind that. I'm looking for George W Bush"

"I hear he is very intersted in milking horses"

[ComerPerro]

15. A 3-legged dog walks into a bar and says

"Im looking for the man who shot my paw"

[Hobarticus]

16. Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables...

Bartender says, "don't you be starting anything in here!"

[ronnykmarshall]

18. Man walks into a bar in Scotland w/ an octopus......

he tell everyone in the bar "I'll bet ye 50 pounds that this wee creature can play any musical instrument you put in front of him!"

The bartenders takes him on the bet and leads the octopus over to a piano. The octopus starts banging out "The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" on the keyboards as the whole bar cheers him on. The bartenders pays the man the 50 pounds.

Another guy walks up and hands the octopus an electric guitar. The creature starts playing a guitar riff that rivaled Jimmi Hendrix. The place goes nuts!! Again the man and his octopus are 50 pounds richer.

Finally an elderly Scottish man sets his bagpipes on a table and says "Let's see the wee beast play this?". The octopus slithers over the table and looks at the device with a puzzled look. "Well! Ain't' ye gonna play it?" "Play it?" the octopus replied "I'm trying to figure out how to fuck it!"

[Lerkfish]

19. A gorilla walks into a bar...

shocked, the bartender watches as the gorilla sits down on the bar stool.
"er...ah...what can I get you?" the bartender asks.
the gorilla looks behind the bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender pours the beer and sets it down, and thinks to himself
"hey, its just a gorilla, what does he know?"
so he tells the gorilla "that'll be 25 dollars".
The gorilla hesitates a minute, then reaches into his fur and pulls out the money, slaps it on the table.
No one in the bar says anything out of shock.
Then, the Gorilla drinks the beer and gets up to leave.
"excuse me...uh sir. I'm just wondering...we don't get a lot of gorillas in here"
"I should say NOT, at 25 dollars a beer!"