"I have a small penis" bumper stcker to secretly put on their SUV's

[Ernesto]

or any other macho-man cars/trucks. How bout it? Anybody marketing such a product?

[Mutley]

1. no but it's a grand idea!

[DistressedAmerican]

38. Now I Am! See Post #11!

[edbermac]

2. What if a woman owns one?

:shrug:

[DinahMoeHum]

5. I don't think I should say it here.

PM me.

[leftofthedial]

23. those "women" also have small penises

[Hell Hath No Fury]

9. My reply to the women...

who drive those gigantic eyesores: "Why didn't you just buy a strap-on?"

[edbermac]

16. Funny and funny...

:rofl: :rofl:

[Seabiscuit]

30. Bumper sticker: "I bought this when I lost my strap-on"

[Throckmorton]

3. But so unfare to us penisly impared people

who drive small cars just the same.

[Kikosexy2]

4. Would be a hoot...

Got one that says "I have a big truck, a big hat, big boots but a small penis"???

[youthere]

6. How about one that says

"I fuck small mammals for fun and profit."

[sui generis]

7. I'll take a dozen - this is Texas after all

land of big hair, big houses, big cars, and litsy bitsy weeners. Seriously, some people here even have stickers on the back of their cars announcing the size of their weeners; as an example:



which means, "I have a red white and blue 4 inch W(eener)"

sign me up

[Drifter]

8. Funny ... but ....

If they catch you and beat the living FUCK out of you ... you deserved it.

I think you are better off keeping your hands off other peoples property, especially if you have any expectation of protecting your own property.

Cheers
Drifter

[Ernesto]

82. Hmmm what kind of SUV do you drive?... nt

[DistressedAmerican]

10. Give Me A Little While And I'll Make Some Up And Post Them To My

Cafepress Store Site. I'll get back to you.

[DistressedAmerican]

11. Here's What I Have Come Up With! If You Are Interested...

What do you think?

I posted it to my cafepress store:
http://www.cafepress.com/distressedgear/609070

[Richard Steele]

52. Here's 2 free ideas if you like:

HONESTY STICKER:



And MAGNIFYING GLASS CALVIN:

[DistressedAmerican]

66. I Like 'em! Funny!

[EvolvedChimp]

63. Brilliant

Quick and to the point. I like it.

[Mutley]

84. absolutely beautiful!

i would definately buy one(if i had money)!

[DistressedAmerican]

85. Glad You Like It! It Is The Thought That Counts!

[Mutley]

97. one day i'll have money

and then I'll buy a bunch!

[Ready4Change]

12. WONDERFUL idea!

But making them magnetic would be better. Less chance of doing harm to someone elsed property that way.

[ghostsofgiants]

13. Didn't George Clooney do that to Brad Pitt's car?

[Aiptasia]

14. Brad Pitt beat you guys to it

Here's proof:

http://www.penis-enlargement-tools.com/articles/data/brad_pitt's_car_bumper_reads_small_penis_onboard.html

[ghostsofgiants]

22. 404'd!!

But yeah, George Clooney did it as a prank.

[zbdent]

15. How about a SPV sticker?

I see a lot of HHs in circles - took a while to realize it was saying they'd been to Hilton Head.

SPV - subtle for Small Penis Vehicle.

[nytemare]

95. SUV=Small Unit Vehicle

:rofl:

[DistressedAmerican]

100. Funny! I'll Make It Shortly And Post!

[nytemare]

101. Cool!

:)

[DistressedAmerican]

103. OK, Sorry For The Delay! Here's One!

I'll work up a plain white on black later. Not much time right now.

I posted this sticker to the DA store Site:

[Shell Beau]

17. Well it would be a good idea, but

what if some of the people need the SUV. Like for instance I have a friend with 5 kids, she drives one and she needs it. But if you know they are just an idiot, then go for it.

[Arugula Latte]

18. In the case of a Hummer, though

NOBODY needs one of those monstrosities.

[Shell Beau]

21. Well of course. Those are for people who do have small

penises (spell ?), so your bumper sticker would actually be true.

[Seabiscuit]

28. That's funny... when I was younger people with 5 kids drove station wagons

NO ONE *needs* an SUV!

[Shell Beau]

31. Well it is a lot more convenient for her, and she went with what

was most affordable for her family. They are strapped for cash, and she went for the cheapest SUV she could find. Trust me, she shopped around. They also use it for pulling her husband's lawn equipment since he does that as a side job. So yes some people do need them.

[Seabiscuit]

34. Basic minivans are cheaper than SUV's and seat more.

E.g., a Toyota Sienna CE minivan starts at a little over $20K. One model seats 7, another seats 8. The small Toyota SUV Highlander begins close to $30K and seats 6 with little to no storage area compared to the minivan.

A Minivan is really a modified station wagon.

An SUV is a modified pickup truck.

If her husband uses their SUV as a substitute for a full sized van or a pickup truck for his work than I can understand it.

But as a practical matter, a minivan is a better bargain than an SUV in general, and gets better gas mileage.

Remember, SUV stands for "Sports Utility Vehicle"

Sports connotes "muscle".

Utility connotes "power".

The name itself is an appeal to the American obsession with size and strength.

If your friend really was cost conscious she could have found a used station wagon for a lot less than a used SUV and which would get better gas mileage, if 5 kids were her only concern. But add the husband into the formula and I understand her decision. I didn't know about that factor when I first posted.

Nothing about the name "Sports Utilitiy Vehicle" suggests carting 5 kids around town.

[Shell Beau]

43. Well I said she shopped around, got the cheapest, most reliable

vehicle she could find. Again it had to accomodate the hubby as well. It wouldn't have been my choice, but it worked for them. Trust me, she would love to save money on the gas, but the hubby needed something that could haul his equipment. They do have a small car and use it as often as they can, trying to save on gas.

I understand that too many people drive SUV's for the hell of it and don't need it. I will likely get one when I have kids, b/c my husband is a landscaper and needs something to haul his equipment around in as well. I will kill two birds with one stone. No need to own a truck if an SUV can tote the kids and pull heavy stuff.

[Seabiscuit]

54. Agreed. That all makes a lot of sense.

But the vast majority of SUV drivers really don't need SUV's. It's some perverse ego thing with them.

Thankfully, sales of SUV's are going down and sales of compact and hybrid cars are going up as the price of gas has risen this year. I'd love to see Hummer go out of business.

I guess the price of gasoline isn't high enough yet to persuade enough Americans to quit wasting it and contributing so heavily to air pollution.

[Shell Beau]

56. I hate seeing Hummers and cannot imagine how

anyone can afford them with the price of gas. They don't even look good to me. But yeah too many people drive SUV's for no good reason. I don't know why anyone would spend that kind of money on gas when you don't have to.

[bullwinkle428]

93. My brother and sister-in-law were making this decision

just last year between a Toyota Highlander and the Sienna minivan and ended up getting the Highlander...what a dumb choice considering their circumstances! I'm not talking about a pair of dopes, either - these are two educated people, who generally are not the types to get caught up in the keeping-up-with-the-Joneses trends. My brother is a family practice physician, and his wife has a law degree, although she now stays at home full time with the kids. They already had one child last year, and were in the process of trying for second one, and she became pregnant shortly after they got the vehicle. I was visiting them a couple of weeks back and my mother was there as well. When we traveled together to go someplace, it was a freaking trainwreck - the kids' two car seats were in the back (middle) seat, and sister-in-law had to shoehorn herself in the far back "rumble" seat...she's actually pretty petite in size - about 5'2" and 115 pounds. I guess they were so obsessed with the "nerdy/geeky" image associated with minivans that they wouldn't buy one - stubborn fools! :evilgrin:

[Seabiscuit]

104. Sad. Really sad. I guess the Highlander appealed to their need for a

"status symbol" in their professions. It certainly is a stylish, somewhat smallish SUV, but *very* espensive for what it offers. And a Sienna is a much better car price-wise and space-wise, but of course a professional uptight about their status/image wouldn't want to drive around colleagues/clients in one of those minivans, which are obviously designed with kids in mind. A Highlander, OTOH, might just fill that ticket to a T.

Why can't they do what I'm doing? Drive a compact/hybrid with their colleagues/clients, and save on gas/be a leader/set an example, then drive a minivan when they're lugging their family places with luggage, baby carriages, etc., etc.?

[skypilot]

19. How about a more gender-neutral message like:

"OVERCOMPENSATING" ?????

[Seabiscuit]

20. How about: "I'm sheeple - I'm into sheep!"

[Seabiscuit]

26. "Mary had a little lamb... and so do I"!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

29. Hi, Seabiscuit!

You are really cooking today! I keep laughing at these posts of yours...Inspired!

Thank you!


:rofl:

[Seabiscuit]

35. Thanks - this stuff just pops off my keyboard - don't ask me how. :)

[The Great Escape]

24. I Saw a Bumper Sticker Once That Said...

"I Wish I Were Rich, Instead of Well Hung."

[CaliforniaPeggy]

27. That is too much!

Made me laugh!

[iconoclastNYC]

25. Gasoline: $2.50/gallon. Hummer H2 : $45,000. Overcompensation: Priceless.

Wouldn't therapy be cheaper?

[Seabiscuit]

36. "25 gallon tank. 8 mpg. Conspicuous consumption: Priceless"

[Redstone]

32. I agree with Drifter; if I saw someone whacking you upside the head

for putting a sticker, magnet, or ANYTHING on their vehicle, I wouldn't rush to your aid.

Keep your opinions off other people's property.

Redstone

[Divameow77]

33. I plan on putting that bumper sticker

(on a magnet of course) on a friends brand new BMW, just for fun. I just hope he drives around for a while before he notices.

[GumboYaYa]

37. I make them myself with exactly that saying.

I use sheets of stickers and print them out by the sheet. When I see an SUV (particularly Hummers), I pop one on the back window.

So far I haven't gotten caught. My wife thinks I am going to get beaten up some day soon, but that is a small price to pay.

[TX-RAT]

44. Possibly, beaten up, possibly shot

Definitely charged and jailed for vandalism.

But what the hell, it's your life.

[GumboYaYa]

45. LMAO, the one thing I have no fear of is being arrested.

I would love the publicity that would come from that. They can arrest me anytime they want.

Sometimes it takes civil disobedience to change the world.

[Redstone]

46. Bullshit. Vandalism is not civil disobedience.

What oppressive government policy are you practicing "civil disobedience" against when you vandalize someone's car?

I don't own an SUV. I don't like SUVs, especially Hummers. But that doesn't give me the right to express my opinions on someone else's property.

Grow up.

Redstone

[GumboYaYa]

90. To me its seems like a much more egregious type of vandalism....

to drive a vehicle that is contributng to the destruction of the natural world that we all enjoy versus putting a small and easily removable sticker on a window to promote a political message designed to make people think about the absurdity of their choices.

Perhaps our priorities are skewed if the right to own destructive property is so vigorously protected even if the exercise of that right endangers everyone else in the world. If you think about the absurdity of someone actually wanting to hurt another person b/c of something being placed on a thing, it really points out how our society values things more than people. To me that is wrong. All of your self proclaimed maturity and vociferous support of property rights is just buying into these misplaced priorities.

[TX-RAT]

88. Then by all means, carry on.

You may get your wish. Although having your wish granted after you've had the shit kicked out of you, or shot dead, is hardly my idea of bliss.

[GreenPartyVoter]

39. Except that I know lots of lefties (myself included) who own SUVs

[DistressedAmerican]

40. The Gender Neutral Option As Suggested Upthread...

Also posted to the store site:
http://www.cafepress.com/distressedgear/609070

[Redstone]

47. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to take back my offer to

help you with your website design.

I know you mean well, but I really can't condone the encouragement of vandalism.

Redstone

[DistressedAmerican]

49. I Just Made The Stickers Available. Never Suggested Their Use.

Not sure that makes me anyworse than a spray paint company.

Sorry to hear that takes you off my friendlies list...
:shrug:

Just for the record - I have never personally stickered anything other than gas pumps, ATM's and fastfood drive throughs!

You may not think those are fair game either. Don't rightly know.

[Redstone]

55. Sorry, but I don't think that ANY property that belongs to someone else

is "fair game."

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I do not believe I have a right to use other people's property without their permission.

We disagree on this subject, and I won't change my mind. There are undoubtedly other things we WILL agree about, and I won't hold our contention on this issue against you.

Redstone

[EvolvedChimp]

80. well how about

"Small Penis Aboard" Then if It's a woman's her boyfriend/husband will feel inadequate.

[Ian David]

91. Here's a few more ideas for you

Selfish
Un-Patriotic
Vehicle



10 Miles/Gallon
2 Soldiers/Day

Patriots drive Hummers to war.
Traitors drive Hummers to the mall.

Hummers are for soldiers, not soccer moms.

Climate Terrorist

I'm killing our troops!

I'm raising your gas prices!

Drill the ANWAR. Kill Bambi. I love my SUV!

What Would Jesus Drive?

Enviornmentalism is for those who won't be Raptured.

Here are some that I've seen elsewhere:

Real soldiers are dying in their Hummers so you can play soldier in yours.

[DistressedAmerican]

94. I Love It! Give Me A Few And I'll Design It Up And Post It!

:toast:

[DistressedAmerican]

96. I Whipped These Up Based On Your Suggestion! What Do You Think?

One Plain White on Black:


Another with some color:

[Ian David]

98. They look good to me! I'm glad you liked the idea!

[DistressedAmerican]

99. I'll Be Getting Myself The Red, White and Blue Version For My Car Today!

Way to pick a fight with half of the vehicles out there! And you don't need to put it on someone else's car. Stick it to ypours and make a statement!

[Mad_Dem_X]

102. "Real soldiers are dying in their Hummers...

so that you can play soldier in yours." I LOVE that one!

[slackmaster]

41. I can't endorse vandalism

Do what you feel you must, but don't expect much sympathy from me if you get arrested or get your ass kicked.

(I drive a humble mid-size SUV, nothing very macho.)

[TX-RAT]

42. Great idea if you like being charged with vandalism.

[Ian David]

92. At least in Mass., it's only vandalism if it's permenant

So, anything that can simply be peeled-off or washed-off with plain water is not considered vandalism-- unless you damage something.

That's why we had to pass a special law against shooting houses with paintballs. Paintballs wash-off in the rain, so they weren't vandalism. But getting your house shot with paintballs was damned annoying, so they had to make a new law.

I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice.

For Sale on Ebay:
Note that some Republican FReeper left on my windshield
Proceeds go to Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays
http://tinyurl.com/8e3zt

[Redstone]

48. How would you people feel if a right-winger put a sticker on your car?

I really thought DUers in general had a bit more respect for other people.

Redstone

[DistressedAmerican]

50. They Have! Yes, It Was Annoyng. I Scraped It Off And Got On With Life.

I uttered a few profanities. But, It wasn't like they threw a brick through my windshield. I'd call it minor harassment at best.

Would I have them arrested over it? No.

Would I beat them up over it? Certainly NO!

[Redstone]

53. But does that justify you doing it to them?

Redstone

[DistressedAmerican]

51. How many people think it is OK to beat someone up for putting

a sticker on your car? I sure as hell do not. But, reading these posts it seems like a lot of you think that would be fair under the circumstances.

What the hell?

It is a freaking sticker. No cause to justify violence!!!

[Redstone]

57. Actually, I do. I would indeed kick the ass of anyone I caught

putting a sticker on my car. (Unless it was a woman. I'd have to be content with vigorous name-calling in that case.)

It's MY car, and NOBODY has a right to vandalize it. It's NOT "just a freaking sticker."

Sorry about that.

Redstone

[DistressedAmerican]

58. You Are Talking About Felony Assault On A Person!!!

For putting a sticker on your CAR! You have to be kidding me! If you care more about cars than people, I don't know what to tell you!

That is THEIR body, and NOBODY has the right to vandalize it!

POSSESSIONS OVER PEOPLE?

Can't Endores Valdalism. But CAN Endorse Violence?

Can't you see how out of wack that is?

[ohiosmith]

59. "Possessions over people" until you own something that you've

worked your ass off to obtain, only to have some chicken shit fuckwad vandalize it. Pity the scumbag I catch messing with my shit.

[Redstone]

60. Concur. I own an expensive car (though not a socially-irresponsible one),

and let's say someone gets in a little hissy-snit because they don't believe people should have nice cars.

What gives them the right to think they should be able to express their opinion by damaging my property?

I don't like SUVs. And I think cars like Vipers are a bit excessive. That's my opinion, which I have every right to. But I do NOT have a right to express my opinion on anyone else's property.

I simply cannot comprehend why people feel they have the right to do so.

It's just simple respect for your fellow human beings to leave their stuff alone. Didn't everyone get taught that in kindergarten?

Redstone

[Eureka]

61. Right on, Redstone n/t

[Redstone]

77. Thanks, mate. Hey, what's it like to live in a place where

a real common expression is "no worries?"

I have to think I'd like a place like that.

Redstone

[Eureka]

81. Sorry I'm late

But we had to go to the pub for lunch.

As if that wasn't an answer to your question....

It's great to live in a place where "no worries" is considered a valid response to just about anything. Really, the vibe over here is very relaxed, and we are pretty egalitarian. For example, I get in trouble when I travel to the US because people call me Sir all the time and I ignore them accidentally, not realising that they are adressing me. No one EVER uses Sir here, we use Mate instead. EG, if you saw someone dropping something in the street you wouldn't say "Excuse me Sir" you would say "Excuse me Mate" Even surnames aren't really used, I've never had a job where I had to address anyone in the organisation by their surname, or met anyone who would prefer I did.

And, if say you met the PM, it would be perfectly acceptable to refer to him with his first name. If he lambasted you for it, like Bush did to a reporter in a press conference last year, his career would be over the following day, it would be completely unacceptable.

From reading your posts, I think you'd love it over here.

[DistressedAmerican]

64. You People Have To Be Kidding Me! That Is Messed Up!!!

I can't believe that crap! Give me a freaking break. Is putting a sticker on your car even going to damage it? NO!

Yet you still think violence is justified? That is sickening.

I hope you realize someday how messed up your value system must be to advocate violence against someone for putting a sticker on your hard earned car. Sick!

I hope I end up on whatever jury tries you for the assualt. I'm pretty sure there is no sticker placing clause in the felony assault statutes...

[ohiosmith]

68. It's a simple concept: Respect the rights and property of others and

you won't risk an ass kicking.

[DistressedAmerican]

70. Spoken Like A True John Wayne Style American!

[ohiosmith]

72. ouch!

[EvolvedChimp]

62. Make them

I'd buy a dozen. We could make you a millionaire.

[DistressedAmerican]

65. I Did. See Posts #11 and 40 For The Design And Details!

[Redstone]

67. Cutting through all the bullshit and rhetoric, a simple statement:

"Nobody has the right to use, damage, or deface someone else's property without the owner's permission."

Agree or disagree?

No dissembling, no rationalizing.

Yes or no?

Stick to the subject.

Redstone

(PS: This is an old common-law concept known as "Trespass to Chattels."

[DistressedAmerican]

69. As Noted Above, It Is Not Something I Do To The Property Of

individuals.

Yes, I do think it is wrong.

If you reread my posts you will never see me arguing that I support such actions. I made the sticker designs that folks suggested. Where they choose to stick them is out of my control. Maybe someone would get one for their own car thinking it was funny?

However, I do not see the moral imperative not to put an Anti-Oil War sticker on a privately owned gas pump. I feel it is completely legit political protest.

Now, will you admit that beating someone up for putting a sticker on your car is totally oit of proportion with the original act?

No dissembling, no rationalizing.

Yes or no?

[ohiosmith]

71. In the immortal words of Jules Winnfield: "Go ahead, I dare ya, I double

dare ya motherfucker."

[Redstone]

76. No, I don't think it's out of proportion.

We won't agree on this point. If you don't want to deal with the reaction, don't deface or damage other people's property.

Further, we won't agree on the idea that a gas-station owner is in any way responsible for an "oil war." bushyboy and his pals are, but not the guy who makes his living selling gas. And, by the way, how is it exactly that putting stickers on the gas pump will help end the war?

And, the "spray paint manufacturer" analogy doesn't apply to the stickers. People said "hey, if we had these things, we'd put them on other people's vehicles," so there's no innocence of intent on your part. The bit about "Maybe someone would get one for their own car thinking it was funny" is a copout, and you know it.

Note to mods: Please don't lock this thread. This is not a flamewar; nobody's calling anyone names. It's a vigorous discussion of ideas.

Redstone

[DistressedAmerican]

79. I Think We Can Both Agree On This Tactic...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3241416

[Redstone]

86. That sounds good. And funny. Yes, we can agree.

Redstone

[DistressedAmerican]

87. Thought So!

:toast:

[Maine-ah]

73. So,

why do you want SUV owners to know you have a small penis?:evilgrin:

[DistressedAmerican]

74. FUNNY! You Wouldn't Think You'd Want To Advertise.

[Ernesto]

83. Please keep up the good work DA

The reactionaries were really freaking out today/night. You got hammered but stood your ground.... You Rock!

[Redstone]

89. Well, if simple respect for other people's property is "reactionary,"

I guess I'm a reactionary. So be it.

Redstone

[ohiosmith]

75. Funny!

:rofl:

[Redstone]

78. Interjected like a true New Englander.

And funny like one.

Redstone