lawmakers object to fake penis for drug tests

[underpants]

http://story.news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050512/od_nm/health_drugtests_dc

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A life-like prosthetic penis called the Whizzinator and other products promising to help illegal drug users pass urine tests provoked U.S. lawmakers on Wednesday to take legal action with subpoenas of manufacturers.

A congressional subcommittee voted to subpoena the owner of Puck Technology of Signal Hill, California, the company that makes the Whizzinator. The panel also voted to subpoena the owners of Health Choice of New York City and Spectrum Labs of Cincinnati, two companies that lawmakers said also were suspected of selling products aimed at circumventing workplace drug tests.

"These companies seek through deception to make a buck by violating our trust and compromising our security," said Rep. Ed Whitfield, a Kentucky Republican who chairs the House Energy and Commerce Committee's oversight and investigations panel.

The House committee is investigating whether federal legislation is needed to stop companies from making similar products, such as drinks that promise to flush out drug ingredients in urine.

"We're not beating or cheating on drug tests. We are just accelerating the cleansing time," Fichera said.

[KitchenWitch]

1. What is poor Onterrio Smith to do, if they outlaw this stuff?

GRRRRRRRRRR

[GodlessBiker]

2. What are these things? Dildos with a reservoir tip?

[underpants]

3. Um

Google - Whizzinator

hit on PRODUCT button

[GodlessBiker]

11. Do they make a larger model? I want it to be realistic.

[jukes]

4. the House committee

shd be forced to pee in a cup. wonder what the results wd expose?

[tk2kewl]

5. "...companies seek ... to make a buck by violating our trust ..."

"... and compromising our security."

Just following the model set for the by the bushCo:

Haliburton, Enron, et al

[Hobarticus]

6. Meanwhile, military awards bonusses to Haliburton for crappy services

while Congress investigates steroids in baseball and fake penises.

What the hell is the chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee's oversight and investigations panel doing looking into fake penises, with record gas prices on his watch?

:banghead:

[underpants]

9. Commerce

As many Republicans LOVE to point out the Feds vastly expanded their power and reach by using their ability to regulate interstate commerce.

[NorthernSpy]

7. gee, I thought Republicans loved the free market...

You know -- the Free Market that lets people freely buy from and sell to each other whatever goods they desire without interference from Big Bad Government?

:sarcasm:

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

8. To hell with ALL this anti-pot noise

Make no mistake, just like putting Chong in Corcoran, this is a federal crusade against, of all things, MARIJUANA. I thought it was Asscrock's pet peeve, but it turns out to continue under Gonzales.

Why do I say it's about pot? Because pot stays in your system about twenty days, and drugs you REALLY don't want your employees using--coke, heroin, and speed--are mostly undetectable after a couple of days.

If the general population, at least a third of which smokes, and that includes Republicans--if people knew our government was spending money on THIS right now, there would be demonstrations in the streets.

[sniffa]

10. my bro-in-Law owns a wizzinator

he sings its praises.

[Maddy McCall]

12. But couldn't he just hold a cup out under your balcony...

for a lot cheaper than the Whizzinator? :D

[sniffa]

13. if he wants to faiL, sure