Americans seek bodily salvation through Jesus diet

[emad]

Julian Borger in Washington
Thursday May 12, 2005
The Guardian

Man does not live on bread alone, but Americans have become increasingly reliant on doughy carbohydrates in their diet. Now many in a rapidly expanding country are asking: "What Would Jesus Eat?"

That is the title of one of a growing number of Christian diet plans crowding the lifestyle shelves of mainstream bookshops. Other bestsellers include The Maker's Diet, The Hallelujah Diet and Body by God. For the persistently overweight, they hold the promise of spiritual and bodily redemption.

The selling strategies vary. Stephen Arterburn, the host of a Christian radio show and author of Lose it For Life, says: "If you want the world to notice Jesus, it helps to look and live like Jesus. We don't do this so we can look in the mirror and be more attractive. We do it so people can look at us and see Jesus."

Don Colbert, a Florida doctor and author of What Would Jesus Eat?, portrays his book as a way of putting some backbone into weak-willed believers.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1481992,00.html

LOAVES and FISHES anyone? Not to mention gallons of red wine...

[Mizmoon]

1. Mmmmmm .... low-fat manna!

YUM!

[Brooklyn Michael]

10. uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh....

[leftofcool]

2. You mean.......................

if I eat the right things, Jesus will make me skinny??????????????? Hallelujah, I'm crossing over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Left of Cool

[ixion]

3. WWJE

What Would Jesus Eat?

Seriously... these people are like a bunch of little kids. They'll believe any fairy tale they're told.

:rofl:



So does this mean that all these fundies are going to give away all their worldly possessions, grow their hair and beard out, don a robe and go live in the desert?

Just curious.

[emad]

4. The peas of cod....that passeth all understanding?

Also included?

[kedrys]

5. Wait til they find out they have to eat crickets

Oh wait, that was John the Baptist in the desert. Never mind. :evilgrin:

[emad]

6. Crickets and locusts...yummy

[hlthe2b]

7. Like Michael Jackson, heavy on the "Jesus Juice?" !

:evilgrin:
WINOS and Alchoholics redemption?

[Roland99]

8. Well...GMA had an interview people on a "Prayer" diet

I can see where that would actually work.

Prayer is essentially meditation. When one develops hunger pangs, doing some meditation to clear the mind and avoid the emotional binge eating would lead to fewer calories (esp. fewer bad calories) and an overall better state of mind that may lead one to involve in more activities and thereby increasing exercise.

[flvegan]

9. Where Would Jesus Drive Through

I'll have a Hallalujah Meal with a little toy cross inside, and a diet holy water. Oh, and some extra ketchup, please.

Your total is $9.73. Please drive through.

[NorthernSpy]

11. vanity

The selling strategies vary. Stephen Arterburn, the host of a Christian radio show and author of Lose it For Life, says: "If you want the world to notice Jesus, it helps to look and live like Jesus. We don't do this so we can look in the mirror and be more attractive. We do it so people can look at us and see Jesus."

Suppose it's just a coincidence that his idea of "looking like Jesus" also happens to be the same as the reigning cultural standard of physical beauty?

I'll bet anything that this is just ordinary human vanity with a little Jesus thrown in to make it sound holy.

:eyes:

[Atlas Mugged]

12. Hey!

Pass that vinegar-soaked sponge over here! Praise Jebus!

[Rob H.]

13. "I think he said, 'Blessed are the cheese-makers.'"

Sorry, couldn't resist throwing in a little Life of Brian. :P

[msanthrope]

19. Yes, but did he mean just the cheesemakers? Or dairy-product

makers in general?

[jukes]

14. "If you want the world to notice Jesus..."

you shd organize a mass-crucifixion of yourself and other fundy fanatics along prominent roadways.

[underpants]

15. My wife laughed out loud at the local new tease on this

JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE GO FOR A F**KING WALK!! AND HAVE A SALAD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!

How's that for a "Jesus diet"?

[KitchenWitch]

16. Jeebus, I am supposed to LOOK like Jesus

Maybe I should just grow my perimenopausal facial hair, instead of waxing it off!

:rofl:

[Javaman]

17. Does this mean that O'liely was on track with his falafel?

[gavodotcom]

18. People DO realize Jesus died in his thirties, right? (n/t)

[onager]

21. But he only died because...

...he had too much iron in his diet.

[DS1]

20. I wish they'd all skip to the last chapter and get a lot of iron in their

diets :eyes:

Why do I have to be surrounded by FRICKIN IDIOTS!