There is a freaking opossum in my utility closet!!!

[Lone_Star_Dem]

This closet is inside my kitchen. I think it came in on the duct work for the ac/heating system.

It's as big as a cat with a mouthful of VERY sharp and SCARY teeth that he wasn't shy about showing off. He also hissed and charged at me. It's scratching on the door (bi-fold style) now trying to get out! I put a chair against it and ran.

What the heck am I supposed to do, this thing looks mean!

I don't like living in the country anymore... *clicks heels together three times* I wish I were back in the city, I wish I were back in the city, I wish I were back in the city.

[democracyindanger]

1. Fire up the grill

[Lone_Star_Dem]

5. If I thought I could threaten it into leaving, I would!

[democracyindanger]

7. Who's talkin' 'bout threats? I'm talkin' 'bout dinner!

You're in Texas, right? :evilgrin:

[Spinzonner]

2. Open a door (to the outside), Open the closet

and give it a clear path.

You're bigger than it - I presume.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

8. It looked pretty big

The more I'm thinking about it the larger it's getting.

How do I get it to leave and not decide it likes the place and set up camp once the door is open? right now it's trying to chew through the door it sounds like!

[MissB]

3. Call animal control

Or, if you can, barricade that room and just never use it again.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

12. We don't have animal control here

Maybe you're supposed to call the sheriff when something like this happens? I do feel threatened.

[MissB]

13. Call their non-emergency number

Or look for some sort of Critter-Getter in the phone book under pest control.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

23. I can't find any critter getters in the phone book

I'm going to call the sheriff and see if they can direct me in the right direction.

[GOPisEvil]

4. I can only tell you what *I* would do.

Scream like a little girl and call a pest removal expert.

Good luck. :scared:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

Check on the screamed like a little girl

It made it hiss at me! :scared:

I can't find any listings for any kind of pest removal in the phone book!

[GOPisEvil]

18. Seriously, in your case, I'd call the sheriff's office.

Once they stop laughing, they might send someone around or offer a suggestion.

[Blue Diadem]

39. Yep..deputies are used to that kind of stuff.

Most of the time you'll end up laughing at them, but they do try to help.

[amazona]

19. yeah they hiss

If you're a female, there is at least one macho neighbor who would love to help you and impress all the females on your block. I know, sexist, yeah, but we live in this society, might as well work it.

If you're male, I dunno...got a shotgun?

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Lone_Star_Dem]

25. I hadn't thought of the neighbors!

Excellent suggestion! They've lived in the country all their lives, they'll know what to do.

Thanks!

[PassingFair]

45. Phone book expert here...

look under exterminators...

[southlandshari]

6. Oh. my. God.

:rofl:

I'm so sorry - I would be freaking out if I was in your place, but your description of the situation has me laughing so hard I can't breathe!

They are the ugliest creatures in the kingdom. Up close and hissing? Yikes.

Please tell me you made this up. If not, call animal control (do you live inside the city limits of the closest town)?

[Lone_Star_Dem]

20. I wish it weren't true!

It's in there and I think I made it angry when I screamed at it.

No animal control here, we're not even incorporated. I really don't know what to do. :cry:

[southlandshari]

24. Look down at post #15

and if you don't like the advice there, do your own google search on "opossum removal" - there are tons of sites on this very subject! Seems there are some folks that are almost uncommonly interested in possums - you could probably find someone to call (long distance) who would talk you through this.

If you are joking, you got me good. I am sitting here feeling awful for you - I'd go crazy if I found a possum in my house. I believe I would probably have to move.

[hfojvt]

61. it isn't the ugliness so much as it is the size

A couple of times I was in my mobil home in the woods of Wisconsin and heard some animal moving through the leaves. I look out my window, expecting to see a squirrel. Instead I see an animal that is way bigger - a possum!!!
Then again, deer are lots bigger than that and seeing a deer would not bother me.
Still, baby possums are kinda cute. I saw a possum once that was road kill and it had six babies riding on it. Three of the babies were dead as well. I put the other three in an oatmeal jar and took them home with me. Then I called the county game warden. He picked them up two days later when I was about ready to release them.

[MnFats]

9. they're cute little creatures....except..

when they feel trapped or are generally pissed off.then they can be nasty.
get somebody to get it outof the house and seal up that hole.

Possums were short-changed by nature. they have nothing like camoflage and are easy pickings for birds of prey. In my neighborhood, the northern end of their range, they often are missing parts of ears and tail, because they have no fur on their nose, tail or ears and are susceptible to frostbite.

the only advantage nature gave the possum is that they reproduce like mad.

so get it out of your place before it starts having babies...

[iconoclastic cat]

10. Those things thrive in the city, too. I see them in Chicago all the time.

Just call Animal Control. Or, failing that, get a non-lethal trap.

Hey, maybe you can drug it! What do possums eat?
Go here: http://www.whatpossumseat.com

[warrens]

33. agh, they're in Chicago too?

I had to drag my cat away from one when we lived in Florida. They are mean, tough critters.

[TroubleMan]

11. "I call the big one Bitey"

Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here.
Homer: I call the big one 'bitey'





http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season4/monorail.shtml

[mopinko]

14. they look scary, but

they are really very shy and gentle critters. they live on bugs and such. if you have slugs in your garden, they especially love those.
i agree with the poster that said open the door, give him a clear path, and stand back. you might want to encourage him in the right direction with a broom.
btw, they are very common city critters. we have lots of them in chicago.
do find out how it got in, tho. if a possum can get in, all manner of rodents will be coming along shortly.

[southlandshari]

15. Of the 34,400 sites found by google on "opossum removal"...

Here's a bit of potentially helpful information:

http://www.opossumsocietyus.org/frequently_asked_questions.htm

Question: There is an opossum in my house or garage. What do I do?

Answer: First contact your local animal shelter to determine if an officer will assist you. Always make sure the opossum will not be trapped and killed!

An opossum can safely be trapped by leaning an empty, tall kitchen trash can at approximately a 30-45º angle against something the opossum can climb onto such as a stack of books. Place cat food or ripe fruit at the bottom of the trash can. The opossum will be able to climb into the trash can but will be unable to climb or jump out. Immediately take the trash can outside. Tip the can on its side and the opossum will leave when it feels it is safe to do so. This is best done at dusk. If it has to be done during the day then tip the opening towards a dense shrub where the opossum can hide until nightfall.

You can also try to leave a trail of pet food leading to an open door. Observe quietly at a distance. Once it leaves, shut the door. Do not try to push the opossum with a broom. The frightened animal will freeze and not move.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

THANK YOU!

I'm on the phone with my neighbor now, I'll pass this on to him when he gets here.

I can't really picture that opossum "playing possum" if I were to push it with a broom. It seemed more the kind to take it from me and beat me with it. I think it smelled my fear and knew it had the upper hand.

[AlGore-08.com]

59. Yup, we did that to get rid of a 'possum that wandered into my Grandma's

'Possums are natures sanitation engineers. Be happy they're around once yours has finished its visit. :)

[Dr.Phool]

16. Want to borrow my dogs?

They kill those things all the time!

[ChoralScholar]

22. mine too....

Julie, my little possum hunter (7 kills in 2 weeks)



Our possum-hunting discussion thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3214444

[Dr.Phool]

29. My male lab mix averaged at least 1 raccoon a week

for 2 solid years. Plus the opposums. The female, not quite as high, but just as dangerous.

[bilgewaterbill]

40. Whose underwear are on the couch? nt

[ChoralScholar]

41. choir directors don't wear underwear like that!!!!

I never noticed... I think it's a onesie that belongs to my little boy.

[CottonBear]

Fireplace gloves, BBQ tongs, jacket, hat and bandana around your face...

Armor yourself, create a tunnel to the outdoors and release the possum. Grab it with the BBQ implements if required and toss it outside...
Good luck.

[amazona]

17. yeah, they are scary

I believe in the strong neighbor with a pitchfork theory but it might depend on how fast you can bat your eyelashes to make it work.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[freethought]

21. Can you somehow give the animal a way out?

Just some how open up a way he can easily make his way out. The animal is hissing because its cornered and scared. If you give it a way to get out I am sure it will take it.

[sakabatou]

26. "I named the big one 'Bitey'"

[TroubleMan]

31. Great minds think alike....look above.

nt.

[sakabatou]

34. Heh... didn't see it.

[NorthernSpy]

27. possums are almost entirely immune to rabies...

Good to know? This animal is probably not dangerous to you in any sense. Even so, if you absolutely have to handle it, definitely use thick gloves and lots of caution. And consult a doctor if you do happen to get scratched or bitten.

Otherwise, I agree with all those who have suggested simply giving the possum a clear path to the outside.

And please get some screening over your vents! If an opossum can get in, a bat certainly can -- and bats are common (and often unseen!) carriers of rabies.

[BikeWriter]

28. Here's what I would do in this case. Close your doors to the kitchen...

Find a board, cardboard box or other short barricade to contain the possum to the closet. Open the closet door and move the barricade into place. Sit an inverted bucket or small trash can over the top of the possum trapping him beneath it.
Slide the bucket and possum onto a board/ cardboard or whatever's handy. Invert the bucket and carry it outside. Voila!

[warrens]

30. These things are MEAN

They only live for a year. You can wait it out.

[-..__...]

32. Are you certain it's an opossum...

and not one of these?



Corner and capture the little bastard and toss it in the microwave; set on high for about 2 minutes... problem solved.

[bleedingheart]

35. I say get a shotgun if you are up for more remodeling...

[BiggJawn]

36. City???? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I used to see this HUGE one, with 479 teeth in its nasty-ass mouth, strolling down the alley behind my place at 21st and Talbott...

That's 20 blocks from Circle Center Mall...

Smack it with a ballbat. That'll remind it to "play possum", then you wade in and finish the job.

[Vektor]

37. Is there a door in your kitchen that leads to the outside?

Open it up, strap on some protective gear, and herd it out with a dust broom. Please don't hurt it if you can avoid doing so. It really just ended up there by it's own shit luck and yours.

[geomon666]

38. Hehehehe, oh man.

I remember me and my dad battling one of those things in the backyard. It was huge and probably pregnant (no we didn't kill it). Me and him had long sticks and were trying to scare it away. It was like something out of a Harryhausen movie. :D

[southlandshari]

42. Let us know what happens

If you don't, I'll worry all night that you've been eaten by the vicious varmint!

[Renew Deal]

43. Give him a path to leave

After you get your gun.

[bilgewaterbill]

44. Now that you've scared the bejeebers out of the poor thing...

Go back to the door and apologize in your most soothing voice. Tell it that everything will be alright and you are going to help it out of this unfortunate situation. You can build a "tunnel" or "raceway" out of garbage bags that leads to an exit. The 'possum don't know from garbage bags- just that they look like a solid wall. Open the exit door and then open the closet door. Stay outta the way unitl it's outside. Be patient. Good Luck.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

46. **UPDATE** The opossum has left the building!

The neighbor showed up with a .22 rifle! I was glad to see him but what the heck was he thinking? It was inside my house not running across the open range!

After explaining that we wouldn't be shooting guns in the house, :eyes: I suggested the trash can and cat food method. It took a little while for the opossum to go for it but finally it did and it's on it's way to a new home via the neighbor now.

Tomorrow I get to see how much damage it did ripping up my duct and just how it got into the duct in the first place. All I can see now is an exit hole about the size of a softball.

Thanks for all the help! I was one freaked out puppy and you talked me down. :hi:

[GOPisEvil]

47. *whew* That's good.

Can you put something over the hole to keep something else from crawling in?

:)

Edited to say that I'm glad you weren't eaten by that satanic opossum.

Also...shooting a .22 in the house? :wtf:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

48. I wrapped duct tape around the hole

I used an entire roll, I wasn't taking any chances!

It hissed at Paul (neighbor) when he opened the door, too! He even said it was a mean one. Then he went on to tell me horror stories of how they kill cats, chickens and steal small children. I figured out he was teasing me only when he tacked on the part about small children.

I'm glad I survived, too. It was touch and go there for a few minutes when I first saw the thing, I was torn between wetting my pants, having a heart attack or running. Luckily running prevailed. :)

[GOPisEvil]

50. Oh, that's good.

I'd have hated to seen you tied to a stake and dragged back to the opossum evil lair. :D

[Lone_Star_Dem]

52. You dare laugh at me!

I was confronted by an evil beast with razor sharp venom dripping teeth, and you laugh! I see from the post above they live in the city too, you'd had better watch out or I'll send one of his cousins to take care of you. :P

[GOPisEvil]

53. Oh no...I'm laughing WITH you.

I would have a heart attack, wet my pants, THEN run! After I scream like a little girl though. My parents live in the suburbs and they've had an opossum in their out building. I'd rather not have to deal with a critter in my house, thanks. :)

[Lone_Star_Dem]

54. I keep laughing over it now.

I can imagine how I must have looked when I opened the closet and saw it in there. I'm pretty sure I had a Macaulay Culkin moment. :P

I know you're laughing with me. :P Heck, in hindsight the whole thing is pretty funny!

[GOPisEvil]

55. Now I can sleep, safe in the knowledge that the evil opossum plot has been

thwarted!

'night! :hi:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

56. G'night!

Pleasant dreams. :hi:

[southlandshari]

49. Cover up that hole post haste

Use aluminum foil until you've got something more permanent. If a possum could get in, you could have an army of mice and a couple of rats in by morning if you live in the country. At least it isn't winter, when they're all trying to get in. We just got rid of a rat (yuck) in our place a few weeks ago.

Glad you got it out. I was really feeling for you!

:pals:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

51. It's covered

I used an entire roll of duct tape going around and around the duct. Anything trying to eat it's way through that will be worn out before they get past it.

Thanks for all the help, you're advice worked like a charm. :)

[BikeWriter]

57. Thank goodness you're okay! ;-)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

58. Glad he's gone and you're ok!

Possums can carry rabies, so you do have to be careful. I think given the choice of getting rabies treatment or having a .22 hole in my house, I'd choose the hole. Still, I don't have the stomach for shooting animals.

[autorank]

60. It could have been worse...

Time to move to the city!