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Just curious. I haven't finished with the first one, legally, but I can't help but wonder about the future.
Other of my family members have demonstrated a disturbing tendency to bounce from one marriage or relationship to another. I tend more toward the monastic and reclusive - songs like I Am A Rock were written for dudes like me - but I really would rather enjoy a spot of the old 'slap-and-tickle' again. And finding that elusive thing called 'love' - the romantic variant thereof - would be just dandy.
But I have to think that I'd be an idiot to get married again any time soon. If ever, for that matter. Maybe some people are just not meant to be married. And the more I think about it, the weirder marriage seems. I don't want to offend anyone who is happily married or who has extremely strong religious (or other) feelings about the inherent sanctity of marriage, but to those of us who do not honestly see it as a literal contract between a couple and a deity or church, but as a personal commitment, isn't it pretty much a matter of us asking for the State's blessing and permission to form a personal relationship? And then when it all goes wrong we can't just say "catch you later," but have to seek the State's permission to split and then pay lawyers to divide everything up and potentially create further discord. Maybe if I had children the equation would make more sense to me, and I'm obviously biased by disillusionment right now.
If I were someone other than me, and me asked me if I should get hitched again soon after a marriage ended, I'd tell me "no way, dude, and stop impersonating me." My reflex would be to just say that I'll never marry again, but I rarely see anything in black-and-white and I voted for the fifth choice below - I'm not discounting marriage, but I won't be kicking down any Vegas wedding chapel doors, either.
And marriage is basically a necessary thing, sometimes, like if one partner has an unwavering belief that they need to be married and you have no intention of letting him or her go (man, tough call) or - perhaps more realistically - if you lived in one country and they in another or if you're both of whatever nationalities and move to another country to live and work, a country in which your unmarried partner is unable to stay for longer than a tourist visa permits or to seek work. I've been there, and I know that some of our fellows - including (thanks to outmoded, stupid restrictions) sapphocrat and foreigncorrespondent - have faced or are facing similar dilemmas. The fact is, if you're involved in a long-term relationship that does not have the State's approval in the form of a marriage certificate, you may basically not able to live together if you end up out of your home country.
And the other thing I'm curious about - for no directly imminent reason (sorry, Salma) - is what kind of experiences DUers who've remarried have had in terms of cooling-off periods. I've actually been functionally single for a fair while now, though I am cursed by just enough respect for the fiery wreck that is my marriage that I won't act single until I've got the formalities taken care of. The thought of being at that point is a bit intimidating, the whole idea of being single again. I'll hopefully be nowhere near as terminally clueless and oblivious to the opposite sex's courtship displays and mating cues as I once was, but I anticipate perhaps still being basically scared s***less at first. I'd love to hear how it's been for others who've gone this way before me, even if you don't say "it'll be okay, dude...you'll be fine." But, please, feel free to say "it'll be okay, dude...you'll be fine."
Anyway, I'd like to hear what you think, both in terms of your feelings about marriage, about remarriage, and about the transition from divorced to swinging bachelor (or bachelorette) studmuffin (or wicked hot fox).
And if you're not yet married but have an opinion, or are currently happily (or otherwise, for that matter) married and have an opinion, or are unable to marry (e.g., you're gay and the laws are f***ed-up) and have an opinion, well, please come on down!
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