Mar 27 "Ten Things I Learned From Republicans This Week"

[Glenda]

This is a bit old, and you may not want to dredge up old news. But I couldn't stop laughing. Taken off Craiglist:

http://boston.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/65720361.html

I'll cut out some, so I don't go against the DU rules

++++++++++


Ten Things I Learned From Republicans This Week

1. Terri Schiavo is alert and discussing her wishes

2. A human body without a brain is precious.

3....

4. Anyone with a shaved head and a loose-fitting brown robe can become a spiritual advisor and spokesperson for your meddling in-laws.

5....

6. Christians may make death threats against the relatives of people they dislike.

7. When a CAT scan reveals a brain that looks like soupy sludge reduced to 20% percent of its original volume, do not be fooled. It is merely brain concentrate waiting to be reconstituted by an evangelical rehab specialist.

8. The lowest medical credential one can hold is Board Certified Neurologist. In ascending order from lowest to highest, the relative rankings of other medical credentials are as follows: general surgeon, registered nurse, fired nursing home LPN, incapacitated physician, Mississippi Resident,anyone with a shaved head and a brown robe and, the highest medical credential, Fox News Host.

9. Removing a feeding tube from a person who has been in a vegetative state for 15 years is an act of heinous cruelty and it should be outlawed. Such an act, if inflicted upon an animal, would surely lead to an arrest for animal cruelty. Learning this made me realize that it would be a loving act to take an animal in a vegetative state, insert a permanent feeding tube, an IV drip, dress it in diapers, and leave it lying helpless in the same spot for fifteen years.

10...