I'm cleaning out my bulk mail folder and...

[Not_Giving_Up]

I have some observations.

If I need to enlarge my breasts, then I probably don't need to enlarge my penis.

I don't need Viagra OR Valium, cheap or otherwise, go away!

If I wanted to see teenage (18-20 of course!) lesbians, would I also want to see mature women showing the men how it's done? Not likely.

I've started a folder just for Christian spam. It seems that the God-fearing folk would like to help me get out of debt, refinance my home, and find a mate. So far, there are 55 in that folder, and it's still growing. I plan to reply to them all, as I get around to it, to ask them a few questions. First on the list will be to ask them what denomination they are a part of. I'd also like to know why they can't just be charitable and pay my bills off for me.

I don't want a degree in Criminal Justice, nor do I want to be a cop. I'd love to make money from home, but not ripping other people off. I do not believe that you have money ready to deposit into my account.

I am not alarmed that this is my last chance to claim my prize, or that you are about to remove me from your list (please do!). I never sent you an e-mail, so don't make your spam look like a reply.

Quit using my freaking name in your e-mail titles. This doesn't make me think I know you, and will not prompt me to open mail from you.

I could go on, but I have 658 more e-mails to check (just in the bulk mail).

[shoelace414]

1. how about the housewife

who's %$@#^# of a husband is away this week

[Not_Giving_Up]

2. She's left me alone lately

It's all about the teenage lesbians and mature women now.

[shoelace414]

4. Recently

I've been getting stock alerts.. like one every half hour or so.

it go so annoying I stuck them in my spamassassin rules

[Not_Giving_Up]

3. I forgot a few

Please don't offer to melt away my cellulite. Really, that's not a problem for me.

I don't believe that you will send me a free iPod, laptop, or anything else.

I don't care about Michael Jackson, and I will not vote in your poll.

[jeff30997]

5. You forgot :

Of course I will send 20 000 bucks to a complete stranger in Nigeria.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. So true

Haven't gotten that one in a while...Maybe they know I'm broke.