Does anyone else here get high off of conflict?

[jdj]

And I mean high, not a pleasant feeling, but a total adrenaline dump of emotion that lasts 12 hours or more...

I don't think I have a flight instinct, I just fight fight fight no matter what. And then I get this intense high that won't go away and I can't work off, and I can't sleep and it last for hours.

I'm talking about arguing, not physical fighting, more really debating.

[KitchenWitch]

1. yes

The adrenaline just does not die down quick enough when the "discussion" is over.

[Starlight]

2. But it's not a pleasant feeling.

More like I'm really stressed & I feel like I'm going to be sick. :puke:

[KitchenWitch]

4. Yes

very unpleasant. The mind races, the heart pounds, and my tummy does flipflops.

[jdj]

5. I got into it with someone yesterday.

Actually I was arguing with three people, but I don't care, I will take on legions and I won't back down. One of the other people told me they had a migraine all last night and were sick today, which was a consolation (they deserved it).

but I don't think this adrenaline dump is a very safe thing for my body. I checked my blood pressure today at the drug store, and for the first time in my life I am borderline high blood pressure.

[miss_kitty]

yes. i have finally found out how to shut it down so i don't keep myself

awake any more over stupid shit too.

[jdj]

11. please elaborate...please.

I need to know how to do this. mine just completely spirals out of control.

I mean, it's like I have smoked some bad pot or something. It's not a figure of speech "high", it's really what I am for hours after a fight. I mean, I want to go out and beat up people, I feel like superman. (wonder woman actually).

[miss_kitty]

18. OK. Here's what works for me-no drugs involved either

I take a hot bath Or shower, if you prefer, but baths are less stimulating) Hot milk, hot chocolate or chamomile tea-a warm beverage of your choice, with no stimulants (yeah. I know cocoa has some in it, but its soothing to me).

The most important thing though is what I think about. I pretend I have won the biggest lottery, and being a generous person I have to share it with friends and worthy associations. I have to decide if I want a lump sum or yearly installments. Do i want a blind trust? will I put conditions on the giving of the money (like no SUV purchases or rethug donations)? who will I give the money to ? I go through my list of people I'd take care of (My English friends-houses. What kind of housing? where?) Where would I buy a home (or homes)? What would they be like? I cannot tell you how quickly this knocks me out. All the detail-it takes all this piss and vinegar right out of me and I drop off quickly.

When you do it, you have to pick a (non-sexual) fantasy that will override any negative thoughts. I stumbled on to it during my cancer treatment.

What is happening to you is part of the fight or flight limbic brain function, I think.

Good Luck!

[Droopy]

3. Well

I've had times when I've gotten into an argument that weighed on me so heavily that I could not sleep. I can't say that I was really wired, my mind just wouldn't settle. I kept going over the conversation in my head. It was like a movie that would rewind and play over again when it was finished and I was a captive audience.

What brings this up? Have you have had an argument recently?

[jdj]

6. yes.

I have a teacher who is an immigrant who is not all that square on english. I on every test there is at least one badly worded question that he incorrectly scores and then won't back down on no matter what...one day I even brought him two mistakes in the book and he wouldn't acknowlege them or announce it to the class or strike the questions off the test. Then I argue with him ferociously in class (because it's affecting my grade) and these two kiss ass bitches both jump in and defend him, but if they disagree with a question then they go ape shit on him as well. I am about at the end of my rope with them. It's actually quite comical, because one if a liberal and one is a conservative and they both hate each other but they are hateful to anyone else who speaks up in class. It is bizarre, I've never had a class like this. It's weird.

It's really 'triggering my issues' but I think I'm gonna be okay. But I got so high off of the argument (I was arguing against four people) that I was up all night staring at the ceiling.

The thing that sucks is that so many people in the class agree with me, but they are gutless cowards who won't say it out loud. That always has been the case all my life, people pull me aside and say "I feel the same way you do" but they won't stand with me and face the fire. I'm as mad at them as I am at the situation in general.

[miss_kitty]

7. can you go to the dean of the dept

with examples?

[jdj]

9. I'm considering documentation next semester.

I don't know what to do.

We only have one more week, so this semester is done.

This man is Asian, so I think there might be some sexism here.

But the thing is, I think he is adorable, otherwise. I am living in this nightmare hick KKK town and I am so thrilled to be being taught by someone from a different culture.

I am trying the catching flies w. honey vs. vinegar approach in this respect, I went into his office today and asked him to help me "be a better student" and give me study tips. That is a new tactic in my arsenal, because in the past I haven't been an ass kisser, but these people just won't stand together and oppose this bullshit, so they don't deserve my efforts if they are not willing to stand with me. I'm looking out for me. Today he said I had all A's, so far, so I'm praying I do well on the tests next week and I'll be done.

[miss_kitty]

12. well FWIW it sounds like you have a good plan for now

Going to the dean with the right attitude can help the teacher too. Maybe they can arrange to have his tests proofread before they are given, you know, stuff like that...but they won't know anything is wrong, if no one tells them.

[EFerrari]

14. That was really smart and really hard, I bet.

I was a returning student (mid 20s) so I had to get an A in every class to make it into Berkeley. And my drama quotient would just skyrocket around the end of the quarter/semester.

I was the first one to check the posted grades. lol

A week is only a week. Then, you can toss the honey and dance on graves to your heart's desire.

You go!

B.

[Droopy]

8. I understand your frustration and anger

But I don't really have any good advice to give you beyond checking into meditation. It may help you calm yourself after a conflict.

[jdj]

10. I'm recovering addict, I don't do mood altering chemicals of any kind.

so I'm screwed in that respect.

otherwise I'd be popping the xanax and chilling out.

[Droopy]

13. Meditation is not a chemical

It's a breathing excercise developed in the orient many thousands of years ago. Basically what you do is sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight and focus all your attention on your breathing. You don't modify your breathing in any way, but just pay attention to your natural breathing processes. I've heard that it can also help people who are dealing with addiction. It's all about calming the mind.

[jdj]

15. duh, you can see where my mind is tonight!. LOL.

I read that medication.

thanks for pointing out my mistake, I needed a laugh.

Unfortunately, I have pretty severe tinnitus (ringing in the ears) that has been going on for about 9 years, but got really bad just before the start of school, so I quit trying to meditate about 4 years ago, it just is not possible for me right now. I had hoped that getting this degree will help me get a job and insurance so I can take care of some of my health problems, but I don't know what will happen.

[Droopy]

16. Cool

I just thought that you had never heard of meditation. :)

[MrScorpio]

17. That's what GD is for

Those people get up looking for a fight

"Oh you like Raspberry syrup on your pancakes? What are you, some kinda sick bastard? Don't you know that the raspberry cartel had you in their pocket? Think about the poor disadvantaged raspberry pickers that have to toil under a hot sun, without benefits and for slave wages so that you can enjoy your raspberry syrup in the comfort of your own kitchen.

You make me SICK!"

[Liberal In Texas]

19. "The first rule of the Fight Club..."

"Is you don't talk about the Fight Club."




"The second rule of the Fight Club...."

[Runcible Spoon]

20. just about the only reason im on DU

especially at 3 am DRUNK :evilgrin: