You Know You're From California When...

[maveric]

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You were born somewhere else.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

Your car has bullet-proof windows.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

Your family tree contains "significant others."

You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

More than clothes come out of the closets.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

Smoking in your office is not optional.

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

All highways into the state say: "no fruits."

All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

The Terminator is your governor

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"

[KitchenWitch]

1. LOL

for real. Once, traveling up the 5, it took us 4 hours to get from San Diego to Laguna Hills!

[democracyindanger]

2. You're paying $3.05 a gallon

[mike_c]

3. hah-- up here in Baja Oregon, aka Humboldt County...

...we've got all the good points and relatively few of the bad. I generally have to drive about four hours south before I can even FIND traffic. The only thing I didn't understand was the thing about pot at the end of your list. What do you mean, illegal?

[hfojvt]

4. barely sprinkling rain?

in SD we used to have "six inch rains" - six drops, six inches apart. I used to laugh in SW Wisconsin because they would give this warning for a T-Storm and they made it sound like it was so severe, and so dangerous, and they would include this warning: "winds up to 50 miles per hour". I would just laugh. In SD that is like a summer breeze, or at least it would not be considered a "severe" storm.

[tyedyeto]

5. Lived there for most of my life and...

You were born somewhere else. Was born and raised there.

You know how to eat an artichoke. Of course.

You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
:evilgrin:

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach. I have never skiied in shorts and have skiied at most Sierra resorts.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
So true.

A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.
Only at my cousin's winery.

The Terminator is your governor. I left before that happend, just wished I could have stayed to vote No to the recall.

[MrScorpio]

6. When your basketball team's ass gets kicked by the Detroit Pistons

[tyedyeto]

7. ??? Thought they (Pistons) are in the playoff with the 76er's right now?

[eridani]

8. You just might be from the Pacific Northwest if you--

Know the differences between Seattle’s Best, Tullys, Torrefazione, and Starbucks.

Every July 1st, it takes half a day to find your sunglasses and sunscreen.

Remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.

Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them.

Know that Boring is a town in Oregon, not just an adjective to describe your job.

Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Willamette and Oregon.

Can point to at least two volcanoes, even with cloud cover.

Say “The mountain is out” when it’s a clear day and you can actually see one.

Have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub within walking distance of your house.

Can name more than 10 kinds of berries and where to get them.

Can name more than 10 beer styles and their hop profiles.

Know more than 10 ways to order a cup of coffee.

Think that truck stops, bowling alleys, bait and tackle shops and dry cleaning stores are perfectly reasonable venues for serving espresso.

When the weather gets above 50 degrees, put on your shorts, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

When the weather gets above 60 degrees, replace your hiking boots with sandals, but leave your socks on.

Think people who use umbrellas (unless it’s raining really, really hard) are wimps or tourists.

Know what to expect if the forecast is "Today's forecast, showers developing into rain. Tomorrow: rain changing to showers.”

Can go skiing after work.

A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.

Live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

Feel guilty throwing an aluminum can in the trash.

Use the term "afternoon sun breaks" and know what it means.

Obey all traffic laws except "keep right unless passing."

Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, even east of the Cascades in August with clear weather forecast.

Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

Hear the word "ferry" and think of boats and long waits.

Know more people who own boats than central air conditioning.

Have ever stood on a deserted street corner in the rain waiting for the light to change.

Consider that if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of altitude, it is a "hill" not a "mountain".

Only honk your car horn if a collision is imminent; never for anything else.

Think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.

In winter, go to work in the dark and go home in the dark, but only have an eight hour day.

Think of swimming as strictly an indoor sport.

Have actually ridden your mountain bike on a mountain.

Know what someone is trying to explain when they tell you “Jesus Christ made Seattle under protest.”

Ever had to drive with your headlights, windshield wipers and sunglasses on at the same time.

[driver8]

9. You measure driving distance in minutes instead of miles...

My brother in law could not get over the fact that everytime he asked me how far someplace was, I answered him in minutes or hours.