Bolton vows to use moustache to scare America's foes

[struggle4progress]

Frightening Facial Hair Called Nominee’s Most Potent Weapon John R. Bolton, President Bush’s nominee to be ambassador to the United Nations, told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee today that if confirmed he would use his terrifying moustache to scare America’s foes.

“America needs something scary to frighten our enemies,” said Mr. Bolton, pounding the table with his fist. “As God is my witness, I believe that my moustache is that scary thing.”

While Mr. Bolton has repeatedly stressed his experience in the field of international politics and policy, today he made it very clear that he considers his unnerving facial hair his most potent weapon.

“I dare anyone to look at my upper lip and not quake with fear,” Mr. Bolton said. <snip>

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1110&srch=bolton

[Spinzonner]

1. Definitely Hair Raising

[DoBotherMe]

2. Bwahhhhahahahahaha

:rofl:

To me he looks like this guy

[flordehinojos]

3. i think his moustache makes bolton look like a walrus

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[MADem]

4. I think he looks like Evil Captain Kangaroo on acid, myself n/t

[struggle4progress]

5. goo goo g'joob! eom