Okay, so when your life is in upheaval...

[redqueen]

and you're not sure what to do... or how to cope...

How does one cope?

[Goldmund]

1. Not enough data to execute the requested operation

[redqueen]

2. *sigh*

My sublimation skills are failing me... this is awful.

[Goldmund]

6. So then, don't sublimate

I live my life trying to avoid sublimation. It works pretty good.

Though I wish I was stronger than I am and more succesful at it than I am.

[redqueen]

8. So then...

I guess I'll just go do what I feel like doing, away from my desk, then.

Thanks.

[Goldmund]

10. That's always my advice

though I myself don't always have the balls to follow that advice. But if you do, by all means. :hug:

[redqueen]

11. Thanks again...

had a little cry... feel a lot better. :hug:

[rbnyc]

7. One step at a time...

Try to stay in the present. Remember to breathe. Keep telling yourself that you're okay. Make sure to keep a positive interior monologue. Cut off negative thinking as soon as it starts to crop up. Simply don't allow it. Get down to basics. Try to pick good foods. Try to get enough sleep. You'll find yourself on the other side of this before you know it.

[redqueen]

12. Thanks...

I think I have a handle on things, and then suddenly from out of the blue, a tidal wave of fear washes over me.

I know you're right. Thanks again...

[hfojvt]

37. the only thing we have to fear

is fear itself.

Well, that and physical violence.
And cancer.
Earthquakes.
Floods.
Tornadoes.
Blizzards.
Wage slavery.
Dying alone.

I'm sorry, is this helping at all? Opposite of what the other poster said about sleep. I have found on a few occasions that staying awake all night tends to put things in perspective. At some point, all other problems look small next to the problem of getting some sleep, and that problem is easily solved.

[Richardo]

3. .

:hug:

[redqueen]

13. .

:hug:

[MissMillie]

4. By remembering that

what is supposed to happen, will happen and that the best you can do is the best you can do.

And by finding joy where ever you can.

[redqueen]

14. Thanks much.

I so love this place... so much good advice on this thread.

[MissMillie]

19. good luck, sweetie

:hug:

[mondo joe]

5. Ask Mizz Bronte, of course

You just get a beaten up old copy of Jane Eyre, you flip to a random page, plunk your finger down on the page and read what you find there. That will tell you what to do.

[redqueen]

16. heh

Thanks.

[mondo joe]

22. More seriously - I really would watch a lot of movies or re read a

book that strikes my fancy.

I think it's sort of rohrschach-y - you pick the things in which you see something relevant, even subconsciously, that help bring you to resolution. Which is the same thing I think religion does.

[radwriter0555]

9. Martinis and Tranquilizers, in moderation of course.

This too shall all pass... so you may as well be stupified and relaxed while it passes.

[redqueen]

18. You know...

I have used wine at home... but for some reason they won't let me have wine at work. Silly bosses.

[radwriter0555]

43. those BASTARDS! Then on to CLONAPIN! You CAN use that at work and

honestly, it seriously helps calm you down and focus on the events at hand.. and suddenly... the assholes aren't QUITE as bad as they usually are.

Recommended in small doses. Take the first one at home on a weekend when you're ready for a nap, and after that, life is BEAUTIFUL!

[texas1928]

15. Here's a little song I wrote...

You might want to sing it note for note.

Don't worry... Be Happy...


:P

[redqueen]

20. Oh, God.

Thanks... that really did make me smile. :)

[Southsideirish]

17. Meditate or pray. It works for me. Morning and night, 30 minutes each.

Start out with just a few minutes a session if you aren't used to it. Observe your breath (naturally) just focus on "in' & "out". It calms the mind and body.'
As far as praying, if you can get to a Church its better, very calming and if you pray for a special intention it makes you feel like you are doing something. Just speak from your heart.

[redqueen]

21. Thanks.

[Wapsie B]

23. Long walks help me.

That's why I try to do it everyday. Whatever you're going through you need all your faculties to handle it. I used to use food to try to comfort myself. I still struggle with that one. Positive thinking is something I'm starting to try. I figure it can't hurt. We've all got situations in life to deal with. We just have to find our own personal solution to those problems. But we don't have to do it alone.

:hug:

[redqueen]

24. Thanks...

I might try that tonight. :hug:

[StopTheMorans]

25. i deal with the problems in my life by making fun of U2

[La Lioness Priyanka]

26. i run away to india

[Beaverhausen]

27. Look around and list everything you are grateful for

including having a job, having a home, your health, etc.

When I'm feeling really blue the universe usually reminds me of all I have to be thankful for and that I have managed to get thru all the trials set before me so far.

Also try and see what lessons you have to learn from whatever it is that is happening. That in itself is a big blessing.

:hug:

[Lisa0825]

28. Pick one thing and work on it.

I have a lot going on right now, and am feeling very overwhelmed. But I picked one problem which was within my control, and did something about it. I made a dramatic improvement in that situation, and now I am even starting to think about what to do next. Successfully taking care of ONE THING can make you feel less powerless and more in control, so that you can then try to tackle another hurdle.

:hug:

[Jessica]

29. I ...

shut out the world around me, have a good cry & then indulge in something comforting. I shut off my phone, the television, etc., light some candles, read, take a bath & just simply find my center again. Sometimes being alone with my thoughts & my cat :) is all I need to find solace.

Hope you feel better.

[sniffa]

30. cuz - an awfuL beast of a man assauLted gary sheffieLd

i cope by bitching about it on message boards.

[StopTheMorans]

32. yeah, that poor, defenseless steroid-taking professional athlete

there was nothing he could do :cry:

[Corgigal]

31. adopt a puppy or kitten

they do just cute stuff and then turn around and drive you crazy. It does seem to help with the blues. That is what I did after the last election, I bought myself a corgi puppy.

[Patiod]

34. And now it probably bosses you around

I've been herded by Corgis.

I'm a weinerdog girl myself (although I don't think there's anything much cuter than a corgi puppy)

As to your question, RedQueen - one thing that helps me is having a few boring books next to the nightstand. When I start obsessing or when the anxiety hits, in order to do as a previous poster suggested and shut those thoughts down right away, I make sure I have something right at hand to distract me. Preferably something that will help me go back to sleep, which is particularly important during those times when you wake up at 3am.

Stop that spiral before it starts!! Dont' let your brain go there! (all good suggestions from cognitive therapy...)

[El Fuego]

33. Hang on tight and wait out the storm . . .

And when the storm is over, the sun will be shining and it will be a beautiful new day. :)

It may not seem possible now, but it will happen.

[billyskank]

35. Surrender to it

I find it's the only way.

[hfojvt]

36. keep everybody together, keep everybody warm, and always remember

to keep ridin' the storm out!

[UncleSepp]

38. Organize, prioritize, and budget

Seriously. Write out all the things you have to do, including time to think about things and deal with the personal stuff as well as the bills and work and whatever else, and schedule it out. Budget your time and budget your emotional energy - don't visit the sick family member and also discuss finances with your ex on the same day, for example, and if you have to do something emotionally stressing, plan an emotional uplift to recover from it. Know what you're going to do and when you're going to do it, and then work through it one piece at a time. If the emotional part is getting to be too much, try to pull as much as you can into the rational sphere.

It's like dealing with a hurricane - the weather makes it a bad storm, but how you plan for it will determine a lot of whether it is a disaster or not. :hug: Hope you get through OK.

[Beetwasher]

39. Well, You're Asking The Right Guy, Since The Last Month Was Pretty Insane

First, my fiance's aunt died, with whom she was very close. Her aunt lived in Japan (we're in NY) though, so she couldn't go to the funeral and was pretty upset about it.

The next day I find out my sister in-laws brother committed suicide. She and my brother have a brand new baby and my brother asked me to please come out to LA for the funeral and to help them, since they were both pretty devastated. I did and I'm glad I did, because at the funeral, my dad collapsed, literally as the body is being lowered into the ground. We thought he was dead, no pulse, no breathing, my brother in-law (sisters husband) actually performed CPR (he's an ER doctor) and my dad was rushed to the emergency room. It turned out not be a heart attack but internal bleeding from an ulcer. Further tests found a lymphoma in his stomach. Thankfully, we found out later, it's low-grade and very treatable.

A week later, my drummer died. 35 years old, died suddenly from bacterial meningitis.

Yesterday, my fiance was fired.

So, how do I cope? I dunno. Gotta laugh, I guess.

[flamingyouth]

40. If you find out, could you please share it with the rest of us?

:(

Seriously, the things that help are my cats (including the one who's currently very ill), yoga, meditation and my true love (who is unfortunately 2,000 miles away).

[Bouncy Ball]

41. One minute follows another.

Breathe. Hours pass, days pass. Soon, it passes.

Sometimes all you can do is survive. Get by. Exist. Especially when things are really tough.

[redqueen]

42. Thanks again to all for all your advice.

:grouphug:

[Neecy]

44. Be good to yourself

We often have to be reminded to be good to ourselves, but you need to repeat it like a mantra when you're down. And then do it - whether it's wearing your favorite color to work, watching an old movie, taking a long bath, re-reading your favorite book. It doesn't have to cost anything. Just reinforce that what you're doing is being good to yourself - too often we kick ourselves when we're down.

[nytemare]

45. A few things

I watch a movie like "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Meet Joe Black", I read a book or a story about somebody who has had times that nobody could get through, yet they got through it. Something like the Diary of Anne Frank or Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning".

I embrace the resiliency of Humanity, and just come to realize that I am human, and I am resilient as well.

:hug: