Watching the show on NBC about the DaVinci Code. Edit: This is humor.

[texas1928]

And Jesus having kids.

Could you imagine that.

Kid "I can not have drugs, my granddad is omnipresent."

Kid to father "What you think you are god or something."

[politicaholic]

1. Don't you have to prove that Jesus existed first?

Yeesh, this fictional stuff presented as fact gets really disturbing sometimes.

[LiberalFighter]

4. No... you have to prove that Jesus didn't exist

At least that is what the churches would probably demand.

[BlueJazz]

2. What a Pile of Crap.

..And people say American Idol is idiotic.

[texas1928]

3. Well thanks.

I guess my humor was not good enough for you.

[BlueJazz]

6. NO..NO! LOL!..I didn't mean you. ...or your thread.

[BlueJazz]

7. As long as we're talking about Jesus....

"Whooo, Paul..Damn!...I can see my house from up here".

[tammywammy]

5. I like the thought of his siblings

Brother: Mom, Jesus is picking on me
Mom: Well, he's God, so let him do whatever.

[texas1928]

8. Could you imagine his brand of jokes.

Changing the water to wine and getting you drunk. And then having to come home and try and convince your parents you were drinking water.

Or all his hamsters, never dying.

[tammywammy]

9. Hey let's see who can swim fastest across the lake

Hey no fair, Jesus is running on water again.

[texas1928]

10. Well when you eat.

He was always making his the bigger piece. Man that would piss any kid off.

[texas1928]

11. Oh and you can not ground him.

The whole son of God thing. Ground him and you are covered in boils, or have frogs all over the house.

[tammywammy]

12. yeah and the whole "wait till your father gets home" threat doesn't work

n/t

[texas1928]

14. Yeah if something is broken

It is always "The Holy Spirit did it"

[onager]

13. Ever read "The Infancy Narratives?"

The gospel accoring to Jesus as a kid. One of the apocryphal, non-canonical books that got left out of the Official Bible.

It's easy to see why. Some of it reads like Stephen King. Jesus accidentally kills a playmate and brings him back to life, etc.

Now that I think of it, though, it's not really any more unbelievable than most of the Official Stuff.

[hfojvt]

15. I like to run the numbers

Imagine that Jesus has three grandchildren and all generations after that have three grandchildren, so every fifty years there is another set of grandchildren. Like so:
AD 50 - 3
AD 100 - 9
AD 150 - 27
AD 200 - 81
AD 500 - 59,049
AD 1000 - 3,486,784,401

Okay, that is more than world population at the time and we still have another 1000 years to go, and three grandchildren per two generations is a very slow growth rate. My point being, that if Jesus had kids, the number of his descendents would be in the hundreds of millions, if not billions.

As I understand it, Davinci code claims that their number is less than 10,000. That is patently absurd.

[autorank]

16. You are the TIA of this thread! Great post. But, son, you must believe!

Please, don't confuse the deluded with any form of mathematical, statistical, or empirical evidence. It upsets them, and they have trouble sleeping.

:evilgrin:

[onager]

17. Bwah! Thanks, autorank!

:yourock:

That pretty much sums it up.

I'm a history geek, and love the series of "What If?" alternative history books.

In "What If 2," one author posed the question: "What if Pontius Pilate had pardoned Jesus?"

Jesus lives into his nineties--long enough to see his teachings degenerate into fanatical factions bent on converting or killing each other.

Now let's see, how did that differ from what really happened...? :evilgrin:

Oh yeah. IIRC, the Roman state embraces Xianity much earlier. It establishes an "official" church and wipes out all dissenters. The East/West split in the Empire never happens.

Eventually the Roman State/Church combination REALLY dominates the whole world, especially after its navy discovers the Americas...

[autorank]

18. Now we're talking!

I like the Roman navy discovering America. Very interesting to think about. I think the native American's (north and south) would have had a much better deal. Didn't the Romans like to preserve the local structures and plunder a bit rather than wipe them out. How about this, the Roman's discover the Americas and set up their normal local front, taxing operation. They do well but the native Americans adapt quickly to the best elements of Greco-Roman culture. In 200AD, they declare independence and establish a united federation of American (or whatever it's called) states. Eventually, they equal the Romans in power and the two are cautious rivals for world power for the next two thousand years.

:hi:

What's the best 'what if' history book you've read?

[JohnnyBoots]

19. Do you think if someone had burried a copy of

Lord of the Rings in the desert a thousand years ago we'd all be praying to Frodo Baggins?