Living Will ......Funny! and True!

[BlueJazz]

Living Will

I,________________________(fill in the blank), being of sound mind and
body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of dickhead
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to sit up and ask
for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my parents,
friends and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes
and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the legislature enact a
special law to keep me on any form of life-support machinery. It is my
wish that these boneheads mind their own goddamn business, and pay
attention to the health, education and future of the millions of
Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I
don't care how many right-wing fundamentalist votes they're trying to
scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that
they play politics with someone else's life and leave me the hell
alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade
on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make
his or her existence a living hell.


_________________________________________
Signature
_________________________________________
Witness

[Dookus]

1. I love it

when I filled mine out recently, I wondered if I could name the United States Congress as my Power-of-Attorney for health care. Make the fuckers vote on me.

[HamstersFromHell]

2. You may be onto something there...

keep congress so busy having to vote on every single dying person that they cannot possibly have any time left to legislatively finish fucking up the rest of the country.

:thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. And by a 2/3 majority, too! None of that "simple majority" bullshit

Tell them you want a CLEAR and DEFINITE **MANDATE** for your medical decisions.