Garding the Canada/United States border

[oneighty]

Today I took up my post on the Canada/United States of American border on the south shore of Lake Erie. I go there just about every day to gard it.

With me I have fresh hot coffee (High Test) with fake cream and real sugar. I usually play Mozart music while garding the border. Lately I have switched to Janis Joplin to pass the time loudly while garding the border.

I am please to announce no Canadian has infiltrated across that portion of the border since I have been garding it.

I did see four hen turkeys there Monday last. I bet they came from Canada.

I think my grandmother might have crossed illegally years ago. Please do not report her.

180

[Plaid Adder]

1. Thought maybe you were up there trying to keep Americans

from fleeing to Canada...

The Plaid Adder

[underpants]

2. Keep up the good work

But to be honest the music just be a tip off to avoid that area thus greatly reducing the number of captures you could potentially have.

[JitterbugPerfume]

5. you arejust doing your civic duty

them canadians just want our jobs---and to marry our innocent daughters

[fob]

3. That is actually a fantastic idea. Can you get a group of people together

and contact a local station to cover you doing your patriotic duty? I think that might point up some hypocracy to those that went south. I realize that there is more illegal immigration through Mexico but why not point out the selectivity of it all?

Perhaps you can stage a "capture" complete with confiscated skates and hockey pucks. :evilgrin:

[achtung_circus]

4. Are you wearing camoflage?

Do you have night vision goggles?
Just how seriously are you taking this?

Or are you (gasp) grandstanding?:popcorn:

[oneighty]

9. No

Often I wear my canary yellow 'U.S. Navy Association of Minemen' jacket. The other day a car pulled up beside me. I did not hear it. Then suddenly my daughter is standing at the window.

"Dad everybody is going to know it is YOU sitting here garding the border. You can see that jacket from a mile away."

So perhaps I will do cameo dress up. I can maybe fool the turkeys too.

180

[barb162]

6. my cousin lives in International Falls, MN right across the river

from Canada. Haven't once heard him saying those canucks are sneaking through. (Water's too cold?)

[oneighty]

10. In 1960

I just got out of the Navy and was recruited into the County Civil Defense Group. Turned out they were actually a militia. They were making plans about stealing boats and food and escaping to Canada in case of war. (To hell with Civil Defense) I suggested they better hope the war starts in the summer because the Lake freezes over in winter time.

"Oh, good thinking." they say.

180

[barb162]

17. I like that story (funny under the circunstances...the days of

fallout shelters. I remember doing drills ( going into the basement) so you'd live through the initial blast, as if you'd be okay or something 5 days later.

[LynneSin]

7. When you catch one will you make that person wear a t-shirt that says:

"Oneighty caught an illegal alien and all I got was this T-shirt."

[sui generis]

8. that was me dressed as one of them turkeys

I was apprehended by some weirdo in a puritan gards costume blasting Janice Joplin; I couldn't think straight!

:evilgrin:

[JitterbugPerfume]

11. uhhhhhh I hate to be a nit picker but

you spelled GUARD wrong


care to tell us why?

hee hee hee I already KNOW

[oneighty]

12. Because

Ms Jitterbug what I say is true.

I gard the border most every day. It is interesing garding the border.

180

[JitterbugPerfume]

13. because

your last name is GARD

[JitterbugPerfume]

14. or is it Dart?

(private joke)

[oneighty]

15. Yes

Garding is what Gard family do do do.

180gard

[Zuni]

16. Damn canadian bastards! Too crafty eh?

I bet they were sneaking in a different place this time with their homosexualist sodomy agenda and their reefer weed. Probably near Seattle, where there are a lot of homosexual drug addict hippie types.

:evilgrin: