Let's play: What's the funniest insult you've ever received?

[chickenscratching]

Mine: I bought a cloak from the Renaissance Fair and the first day I wore it outside someone driving by leaned out their window and yelled: "HALLOWEEN IS OVER!" :eyes:

silly kids. now you.
(i bet no one will respond to this, you punks.)

[On the Road]

1. When I Was in College,

I once saw "Neef is a Vee-Mee" written on the library wall. I think it referred to me -- that was one of my nicknames then. I have no idea what it means, but it always makes me laugh.

[chickenscratching]

11. a vee mee?

i bet they were complimeting you! see, vee mee is a racing horse:
http://infohorse.hrnz.co.nz/cgi-bin/fglccgi.exe/wa/r/rre04x?Arg=15779&Arg=42081
:eyes:

[Demit]

2. When I was 16 a guy said to me "Funny, you don't look smart".

Which was supposed to be a compliment, I think, but I think about it to this day.

[chickenscratching]

12. how does one look smart?

what did you look like when you were 16?

[Demit]

18. Cute (I didn't realize it), really long & shiny hair (it was the 60s)

Sigh.

[bertha katzenengel]

3. "nofatchicks... nofatchicks... *snigger* nofatchicks..." uttered by

two adolescent males while they trailed behind me in a grocery store. I wish I could've thought up something clever to say or do to them, but all I could do was laugh.

[chickenscratching]

4. seriously, people need to come up

with some better insults! jeeez. :eyes:

[bertha katzenengel]

14. Maybe it was a So. Cali. thing, but in the late 80s (I think), "No Fat

Chicks" was a popular phrase on bumper stickers & t-shirts. It was probably used by some early morning screaming DJ. :shrug:

[MrModerate]

5. I once directed a production of "Gammer Gurton's Needle"

. . . A middle-English farce (circa 1575) which I had adapted into modern English. It's really very funny, done right.

My production (I have to admit it) WASN'T "done right."

After opening night, the first reviewer went on and on about how wonderful the adaptation was. Then, he got to the production itself, and he opened a damning critique (most of which was justified) with the deathless phrase:

"Unfortunately directed by <my name.>"

It was the last show I directed for 10 years.

And the kicker was -- the reviewer was frequent DU contributor Bernie Weiner! (Who's clearly gone on to weightier things.)

[chickenscratching]

8. oh weird!

ouch though "unfortunately directed by..." hopefully you didn't let it get to ya.

[sui generis]

10. kewel!

:popcorn:

[Misunderestimator]

20. Sounds like a lovely review I got once...

said "<my name> sounded as if she had never warmed up"... I had bronchitis, so I guess I should be grateful the review wasn't worse than that.

[Goldom]

6. "Why don't you go to (name of Christian school)"

directed at me because I dress.. in real clothes? That apparently they thought were too formal. (A shirt and pants. Ooh, scary.) I didn't say it at the time, but I really wanted to... "...cause I'm Jewish?"

[sui generis]

7. talking to someone who thought I was "one of the saved"

. . . back away in horror, sputtering, "you're . . . .a . . . LIBERAL!"

(Oh my, hide the human babies, I haven't had lunch yet)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

9. Look at my username. (nt)

[murielm99]

24. Every time I see your user name, I think of an incident that

happened when I was in college.

My close friend was the daughter of a Missouri Synod Lutheran pastor. He was sarcastic, intimidating and rigid. She was afraid of him.

He liked me. She said it was because I was married, wore skirts occasionally, and went to church.

He came to pick her up from school at the end of the year, and she was not ready to leave. She was still writing a paper. Nothing was packed. Papers and clothing were strewn around her room.

Naturally, she sent me downstairs to talk to him. I had to keep him distracted, keep him from exploding with impatience.

I kept up one side of a conversation for as long as I could stand it. Excusing myself, I ran upstairs and implored her to come down and speak to her suspicious and restless father. He was ready to start bellowing.

She came downstairs in her cutoffs and sweatshirt. Before she could get a word out of her mouth, he said, "Communist! Atheist! Hippie!"

I fled. But the following year, I made her a t-shirt that said, "Communist! Atheist! Hippie!"

[yewberry]

13. "You kiss the feet of idols."

Told to me on the school bus when I was a kid, because I was Uni-Uni in a Catholic town.

Their proof: they'd seen it in a filmstrip in CCD.
(Remember filmstrips?)

[chickenscratching]

37. oh do I

i loved filmstrips......."and here she is kissing the feet of idols" BEEP!

[LynneSin]

15. Will Pitt has a great story about an insult he got in an elevator

He was wearing a DU tee-shirt and a cheesy First Place Medal Ribbon that he had won. He ran into a repuke on the elevator but WIll can tell the story better than I can

[Rainbowreflect]

16. Tease!

;-)

[Rowdyboy]

17. It was on DU.....A poster who has since been tombstoned called me a

"cocksucker". Since I've been openly gay for many years (my avatar on DU was the "rainbow" flag), I was a little taken aback. My immediate response was to thank him for recognizing one of my strengths and giving me credit for my talents.

[ronnykmarshall]

23. I love that "insult"

My ex-boyfriend used to say "I don't know why they think calling us a 'cocksucker' an insult. It's something I do very well."

Which I would always be a smartass and say "eh?" and make that "so-so" movement with my hand.

[Rowdyboy]

29. When I told the story to my Michael, he just rolled his eyes......

What can I say? :shrug:

[thinkingwoman]

25. ROFL

Great response!

Do you watch Deadwood on HBO? Cocksucker is almost a term of endearment there.

[Rowdyboy]

27. Sadly, I haven't had a chance to see it...

[thinkingwoman]

33. I missed the first season

and had no idea what the fuss was about.

Then I read all the episode summaries and started watching the second season. I am now hooked.

[Zuni]

19. You damned russian monkey

one of my friends called me that when we were drunk and wrestling

[ronnykmarshall]

21. "You're really not cute enough for me."

my responce "Oh thank god, because you were boring the shit out of me."

[fudge stripe cookays]

22. Jell-O Butt

Scrawled on the memo board on my door when I was in college.

Not actually that funny. Pretty mean, actually.
FSC

[flamingyouth]

26. "You're just a pale-faced bag of bones."

I was in fifth grade and very thin and pale. I still laugh about it. :D

[Goathead]

28. Some Bushbot called me an intellectual.

Thought that was quite strange.

[chickenscratching]

32. whoooo

i don't know if you are familiar with the late comedian bill hicks, but he had a skit where he explains this scenario at some southern diner. he's sitting there reading a book and someone looks over at him and says to the other diners: "looks like we got ourselves a READER!"
:eyes:

[ZenLefty]

30. A freeper called me a "BJ excuser"

In reference to the whole Monica & Bill Clinton affair. I guess.

[Goathead]

35. Hey what's wrong with BJs?

I think the world should way more BJs. Guess I'm a BJ excuser too.:eyes:

[Zuni]

40. Now that is awesome

[Neoma]

31. Liberal Wiener

[radwriter0555]

34. A man asked me if I was a republican while he was trying to get me to sign

a petition.

I was VERY insulted and told him that that was a TERRRIBLE thing to suggest and didn't sign his petition...

[chickenscratching]

38. nice one

:rofl:

[demily]

36. Once a "friend"

Told me that when we first met she couldn't concentrate on anything I said because all she could think about was how big my nose was. Okay, my nose is NOT very big at all! Maybe slightly larger than normal. But even if it was really big, why would she say that?? Learn some social skills! :eyes:

[chickenscratching]

39. seriously, some people have no tact

:eyes:

[kick-ass-bob]

41. Not me but my coworker after stating he lived with his g/f

was called a "fornicator" by a freeper type. :eyes:

We couldn't let it end, so we made him a scarlet letter "F" and rushed in his office to tape it on him!
:rofl:

[chickenscratching]

43. 'fornicator'

you damn people, fornicatin' before marriage! sheeesh! :eyes:

:)

[frictionlessO]

42. Got called this the other day for a post that wasn't anything like

this... in fact it was quite a projection.

Im a pagan hedonist type so it made me laugh a good long while. They said this in reference to a rather friendly post where I just gave the poster a bit of their own meds. I was really not mean at all emotional...

"I thought only fundies examined and funneled policy issues in emotional histrionics."


Was my first time being compared to fundies! Which Im sure the poster chose so as not to compare me to freepers (against the rules sorta).

[Solly Mack]

44. Old lady on my nose ring "Honey, would not a cowbell been less painful?"

I died laughing...