Sunday rant - why don't kids play anymore?

[Democrat 4 Ever]

Does anyone remember a time when kids just played? They didn't need a $200.00 electronic game attached to a 32" TV to plug in $50.00 "adventures?" They made their own adventures, learned to make friends and be a friend, understood rules of the games and also, understood that sometimes the need to relax those rules for their baby sister or the neighborhood kid that was "different." That it wasn't nice or fair to exclude and that what goes around comes around so treat people how you wanted to be treated. The golden rule in real life application.

When my kids were younger all the kids in the neighborhood played together and at whatever house they ended up at the other parents could be depended upon to keep an eye out for everyone. And every parent's word was law. You behaved when you were in someone else yard and they behaved in yours. There was always arguments of whether a ball was fair or foul, strike two or three, safe or out but generally everyone got along. I don't ever remember anyone coming to actual blows. By some unseen hand the games just seamlessly shifted to football and basketball in the fall, sledding in the winter and it started all over again come Spring. If only things were that simple again. And it wasn't that long ago!

Kids need to play and today there are less and less spaces available. Parents fuss about kids staying inside and watching TV or playing video games but where can many kids go to play, really play? Everything is subdivided, platted, or fenced. My kids was fortunate enough to live where the neighborhood kids could assemble in the summer. Right after gulping down breakfast, pulling on a pair of shorts and a shirt, cleaning their rooms, off they would run for a full day's adventures. While living in a subdivision with fairly large lots our area backed up to a large old farmstead that was deserted and undeveloped. The owners didn't mind the kids building forts and tree houses, picking flowers, apples, pears or blackberries as long as they didn't damage anything. There was a loose knit game of baseball/softball (depending upon available equipment) going all day long with players shifting in and out as chores (lawn mowing and gardens), vacations and interests varied. Anybody remember tossing a bat to the other team leader and working fist over fist up the bat until you got to the top and decided who got first dibs on picking teams or first at bat? An afternoon could be spent at the city pool only to come back home, gulp down supper and another game of baseball. When it finally got dark there usually was a game of hide and seek with flashlights or catching fireflies. There was only time left for a quick bath and the kids would fall into bed, be out in 15 seconds flat only to have it start all over again the next day. They were brown as little biscuits (politically incorrect now), lean, healthy and generally pretty happy. They didn't look to me to be the entertainment committee. If they got bored my memory doesn't seem to recall too many complaints - the few times they whined about being bored I always found a chore so they learned pretty quickly to amuse themselves. I was available for food, drink, band aids and car rides to the pool and library.

Everything today is organized, "uniformized" and "umpiredized" to where kids don't learn to settle disputes among themselves. Somehow if the baselines aren't painted, no dugouts for their little butts and the tree line is an automatic out because the game has to stop to look for the ball again it doesn't count. And we wonder why kids are overweight, unhealthy and spend entirely too much time worrying about stuff that won't mean a tinker's damn tomorrow. Just my 2¢.

[LynzM]

1. I agree with a lot of this....

It's a combination of TV/Video Games/Computer time, in conjunction with the belief that the world is so much more dangerous, that it's unsafe to let your kids out of your sight. Combine with the idea that if your kid did something that caused harm to another kid, that kid's parents might sue you, and you've got a recipe for keeping kids home, inside, regulated... Meh.

[cornermouse]

2. It was safer back to let them run around the neighborhood then.

I don't think there were as many child predators.

[Southsideirish]

9. Maybe but maybe they just talk about them more now.

We had strange men that would sometimes show up in my neighborhood but the kids knew to avoid them. I picked up a dime once at the local drug store and a guy suddenly appeared (the dime had been a "plant") and asked me if I wanted more dimes. Instinctively I just knew (plus I had been warned not to talk to strangers)and I just scurried away from him.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

38. Yes, I grew up in the 1950s, and there were children abducted and killed

then, too, but it wasn't on the national news 24/7.

We followed a few rules. We had to tell our parents where we were going, we had to go to a place where the parents were home, and we were never to go anywhere with anyone we didn't know. If someone we didn't know tried to get us to go along with them, we were supposed to run home as fast as we could and tell a parent. We had to be home for dinner, and after dinner, we could stay out until the street lights came on.

We basically spent the whole summer outside, playing make-believe games ("pioneers," "explorers," "house"), riding our bicyles round and round the block, or playing traditional kids' games like Red Rover, Freeze Tag, Statuemaker, and Captain May I.

[Left Is Write]

41. We liked to play pioneers too.

I remember sitting in my best friend's backyard with an old saucepan her mother had given us "cooking" over an open fire. We put weeds and grass and acorns and such in the saucepan.

We also liked to play fortuneteller with some old theatrical costumes my grandmother gave us.

[politicat]

56. It's more that it wasn't so mediapathic.

My mother was molested in the early 60's. Several of her friends had various "weirdo" experiences. One of the girls in her neighborhood was abducted, killed and left on the side of the road (probably raped, but forensics wasn't as good then). Mom lived in a small, close-knit farming community in rural Indiana. It happened then and there, too, but no one talked about it, and the news didn't obsess about it.

In fact, according to the FBI, violent crime against children is down. Abductions by strangers are down. Child predators are more likely to be caught now, put in prison and kept there; in the mid-20th century, no one talked about it, so no one went to the cops, so no one went to prison.

Besides: The person most likely to harm a child, according to the CDC and children's advocates all over the country, is a RELATIVE or family friend. It is not a stranger, or a casual acquaintance. It's the person who is trusted to care for a child who is most likely to do that child damage. But the media never covers that, do they? Because if people are afraid of strangers, then people will buy their kids indoor entertainment devices, and make the advertisers happy. But if people are afraid of their own kin, what can they do? Absolutely nothing; in that case, it's better for the kids to go outside and run around the neighborhood.

Of course, it doesn't help that there are so many noise nazis out there, that complain if a child walks down the street, and like as not calls the cops instead of just realizing that once, other people tolerated that noise nazi's childhood behavior, too. Bad manners of that sort cut both ways.

[greymattermom]

3. no one's home

No one is home in those houses anymore. Everyone is out working to pay the bills.

[Bronco69]

4. Thanks for that.

It brings back a lot of memories. :-)

[InvisibleTouch]

5. Good observations.

I'm not so far removed from my own memories of playing as a kid, though I was less of a "team player" and more someone who could always find a way to amuse herself in solitude. I can't relate to kids who complain of boredom, and find it vaguely horrifying that they're unable to entertain themselves these days. We've got a whole generation now that expects its entertainments and amusements to come from outside themselves, from other sources, electronically spoon-fed to them. Imagination, initiative, and independence goes right out the window. It's enough to almost make me feel sorry for the little punks....

[xmas74]

6. Just sent my four year old out to play.

We just moved into town about a month ago. There are many kids in the neighborhood-but she seems to be the only one who is ever outside. We have a decent sized yard w/ a fence. She has a tire swing, a swing set and a sandbox, along w/ skates and a bike. And there is a standing invitation for any of the neighborhood kids to come over to play. I refuse to buy her video games and that is all the kids want to come over to do.

They just don't seem interested in going outside anymore. It's really sad.

[Deja Q]

7. Because we are not a society. We are a nation of

individuals raised not to trust each other, to be nuclear families fighting each other off.

This will ultimately be our undoing.

I was bullied, assaulted, molested, and taunted. Even by people of the time who I'd considered to be my friends. Those who did the acts NEVER got punished.

Lots of people whine about stopping the bullying problem at schools, but nothing ever gets done. Where's the disconnect here?

I've every reason to feel apprehensive around everybody; even friends. I also know what makes a better society. And that's building trust and community. Those TV ads each are a 30 second load of bunk. We don't get to know the people or the situation, just listen in the media how things are going and make decisions based on those biases instead of witnessing things firsthand.

Our country is out of control.

Hillary Clinton once said "it takes a village". Repukes and other anti-social psychopaths laughed. Well, she was right.

And when it crumbles, only those who know how to share and trust can work together to rebuild it. For the "individualism" ideal is impossible to have in a world where resources are scarce; we'd end up eating each other. Dog eat dog. And if you think it's bad now, just you wait.

And when it does, do we help out those who have laughed at us, wrongfully denounced us? Why help them because, odds are that they'll only do it again without a second (or first) thought.

P.S. I nominated your post. :thumbsup:

[xmas74]

8. Absolutely. It does take a village.

If you send your child to school, if you use public roads, if you shop for groceries, if you take your child to the doctor then you are building a village. We are all members.
I never understood why they laughed so hard at that. To me, that makes perfect sense. Unless you do everything yourself, you are a part of a village.

[acmejack]

10. That is the difference between us and them

It is why the cities are blue and the rural red. You the lone "Louis L'Amour type hero. Lone rider, Rugged individualist, etc, etc...

[xmas74]

16. I am rural. I still know that I have to depend on

more than myself in order to survive. The lone individual rarely survives on their own.

[Jade Fox]

18. They laughed at that....

because they saw it as a typical liberal attempt to usurp parental authority
in favor of socially dictated moral and behavioral values. And I don't
recall them laughing so much as being enraged. These are people who
want to be free to hit their children and not have some law stop them or
some psychologist tell them its wrong.

The phrase "It takes a whole village to raise a child" originated in Africa,
I believe, and refers to the fact that raising children in isolation and without
a community to support you doesn't work real well.

[xmas74]

19. And I still never understood.

If they didn't want the "village" mentality, why do they dwell in the suburbs, shop instead of growing their own food, buy their clothing instead of harvesting the cotton(weaving, etc), send their children to upscale private schools, etc.

They live in a village mentality. Why fight it?

[Jade Fox]

23. I alway say: these people should have to live in the world they claim...

they want.

Most of them wouldn't last a week without village support.

[xmas74]

48. True.

I enjoy rural living. I hope to someday buy a house in the country. But I still need my "village" to lay down the roads, offer me electrical hookups, build my home. I still need schools for my child(no plans to homeschool here-I just don't have the patience). I do grow many of my own vegetables, but still need the grocer in town to offer me a decent variety of products in the offseason. I still want to take my child to the doctor, the dentist, the library, etc.
Even during pioneer times people still used products that were produced by someone else(pots and pans, nails, guns, cloth-they even bought their horses from someone else usually to make the trip. And they still tried to make a trip into the nearest town at least once a year). So where do these yahoos get off on becoming irate over a true statement?

[KittyWampus]

37. IMO, There's No Such Thing As "Do Everything Yourself". SOMEBODY

forged the tools, laid the roads etc.

And NATURE serves us all very well.

:)

[xmas74]

47. Exactly.

[ReadTomPaine]

25. Nicely said. (n/t)

[dolo amber]

11. Excellent!

I agree 100%.

From my point of view a lot of why this kind of thing doesn't go on as much today is because you *can't* trust a lot of parents to be there to keep an eye on everyone. And no, I don't mean just because a lot of them have to have 2 incomes to survive...I'm speaking of parents who seem to just not give a shit what goes on under their roofs. I have 14 yr old who has several times been at a friend's, something unforseen happens, and the parents either aren't there (even though I was given the impression they would be) or ARE there and just make the worst judgment calls ever. Examples:

She was out, walking in a field with her friend when she was about 11. She stepped in a hole in the ground, fracturing her ankle. After hobbling back to the friend's house where her FATHER...who was a NURSE...was, he neither called me, or offered any medical treatment. It was over an hour later that my daughter finally got in touch with me. When I picked her up, her ankle looked like a grapefruit.

Went to Sunday evening church services with a friend, whose mother decided she didn't feel like staying...so she left. Had "some guy" (21 yr old guy, mind) who I'd never met, never heard of in my life, give my 13 yr old daughter a ride home. The mother didn't call me...I had to make phone calls trying to track her down when she was late. They didn't get home until about 2 hours after the service because the two girls and said guy were 'out driving around'...

A couple weeks ago, she and her 16 yr old boyfriend were going to take the city bus to the mall, then his mom was to give her a ride home. Well, she apparently picked them up at the mall, but had to be at Bingo and didn't have time to drop my kid off. This story does not end well...she ended up staying, unsupervised, at the boyfriend's house. (Don't judge...circumstances being what they were she just couldn't get home. Trust me.)

The point of all this is...I would never...NEVER have someone else's minor child in my care and just be like "Meh...whatever" like so many parents today are. And this isn't just some unfortunate luck she's had with friends...I hear similar stories far too often.

And y'know what? It's really fuckin' sad.

[LibDemAlways]

12. When I was a kid I'd announce to my

parents that I was going to a friend's house to play, and then I'd disappear for the day. If my friend wasn't home, I'd ride my bike and explore on my own. My parents were never concerned that any harm might befall me, and none ever did.

Today the situation is completely changed. I live in a very safe suburban area, but even here there are registered sex offenders in the neighborhood and the occasional report of a stranger trying to lure a child into a car.

All of the organized activites parents sign their kids for up today are, I think, a response to the changing times. It's simply too risky to allow kids the kind of freedom we enjoyed. It's a damn shame, but it's reality.

And it is interesting that after being ever-vigilent with young children, people adopt a "hands-off" policy with their teen-agers - at just the age where monitering who they are with and what they are doing are extremely important.

[LynzM]

24. But do you think....

That it's really that there are more dangerous people around? Or simply that we're more aware of it? I mean, surely sex offenders are not a new phenomenon, but a registry so we can know exactly who, and how many, is. We hear about all the child kidnappings, all the awful things done to kids, much more. I'm not sure it's going on more than it used to, just that we are so much more aware, and afraid.

Thoughts?

[hfojvt]

27. Right, the stranger trying to lure a kid into a car

would not have been all over the radio and TV in the past. We are paranoid now. When I was a kid about ten my two younger siblings were walking home about a mile from the circus. A lady stopped and asked if we wanted a ride. I did not know who she was so I said we would walk. Found out later, she was our next door neighbor. So I always have been horrible with faces, but the "do not get into cars with strangers" must have been taught even 30 years ago in small town SD.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

39. I think parents basically have no idea of their children's own maturity

If you emphasize that they should never go anywhere with someone they don't know because they are bad people who like to hurt children, or, if you have a registered sex offender in the neighborhood, tell them that they are not supposed to go near that person unless a parent is present, they'll do it.

A little fear goes a long way. When I was in first grade, a third grader told me that "bad men" lurked in the nearby cemetery and that they tried to grab children and tear their clothes off. That was enough to keep me out of the cemetery for the entire time we lived there, even though it would have been a good shortcut to school.

Going back even farther, as a teenager in the 1930s, my mother was followed home from school after staying late for a club meeting by a man driving very slowly and trying to lure her into the car. Fortunately, my grandfather came along in the opposite direction, walking the family dog, and my mom ran to him. The driver sped off.

[Democrat 4 Ever]

28. I feel sure it is because we do have more information. There have

been perverts and evil people throughout history. That said, though, I think we have become a nation of fearful people. We are scared of everything and if we forget for just a few minutes we have someone ready to tell us how horrible things are. Hell, a president ran a campaign based on nothing more than scaring the begeebers out of anyone who would listen. And if we don't toe the line we are going to spend eternity in hell, that every home needs an AK47 to protect themselves from all types of horrors, and that we need to kill the "terrorists" before they kill us even if we have to kill people who mean us no harm at all just to reassure ourselves. Be afraid, be afraid, be afraid and make sure your kids are afraid, too.

Of course, reasonable and sane measures have to be taken to protect ourselves and our children but it seems like we have evolved from the hardy risk taking pioneers who struck out for a new land and a new life into a country of people that are ruled by fear. I can't help but wonder, if this country dissolved into the narrow-minded, religious madness of 16th and 17th Europe (not such a long stretch anymore) how many Americans would have the guts and fortitude to strike out to a new country to build anew? That freedom would mean that much to people. Not sure I could but would like to think there is still some of that American ingenuity, brashness and gumption left to at least put up a good fight.

[Patiod]

29. They were always there

My friend was raped at age 8 in her safe suburb during the "safe" 1960s - her teenaged sister went to retrieve a ball from the roof and left a ladder propped up against the house, and a predator climbed in the teenager's window, bypassed her, and went to the 8-yr-old's room and raped her. A few weeks later, a bunch of kids were outside playing, and the pedophile came by, checking out the group. My friend started to scream, and her dad, who was working in the yard, took off after him. The guy was caught, tried and convicted - my friend had not been his only victim, but she was the only one who recognized him.

A 13-year-old neighbor used to hang out at the local elementary school in the early 70's. There was this creepy guy living in the woods there, and she started having sex with him (she used to tell us it was "her boyfriend"). Her parents found out, and had him arrested for statutory rape (he was also convicted).

I always think about these when I hear people say how much more dangerous things are now. I'm sure this stuff happened, probably at the same rates as now, in the 30's, 40's and 50's as well.

There is a lot more fear now, though. I have walked around my mom's neighborhood with her (recognizable) dog, and once saw a mom run out of the house and grab her toddler up out of the yard because she was so frightened to see a strange woman walking down the sidewalk. Instead of talking to me and finding out who I was, (easy to start a conversation with a dog-walker), she went with the "fortress" mentality, looking at me like I was Chalie Manson.

What is it that has people so terrified now?

[Hello_Kitty]

31. I actually think the problem has decreased somewhat

Though it may not seem that way because there is so much more attention to it. Back in the '70s when I was a kid there were all kinds of creeps that would drive around looking for victims. Most of us knew to avoid them but I'm sure they got more than a few. Older kids molested younger kids all the time and it was either not mentioned or considered 'just playing'. Kids who were abused by relatives rarely told anyone and it usually didn't do any good to anyway. My adult stepbrother exposed himself to me when I was about 6 and I told my dad. I remember my dad not thinking it was a big deal (!)

Today it's taken much more seriously by law enforcement, schools, and the public so the predators are more likely to get caught and hopefully, deterred.

[grace0418]

51. Unfortunately, I think there might be more dangerous

people around. Just look at all the stories people are telling in this thread and on elsewhere on this board. Kids who play video games all day instead of learning the value of friendship and imagination, kids who get overscheduled in santized versions of play where rules are generally suspended and "everyone is a winner," kids who aren't supervised because their parents are either too busy/too lazy/not around, kids for whom instant gratification is a given, kids for whom everything from fashion to music is way oversexualized (and mind you, I'm no prude but seeing five year old girls dressed like tiny hookers is really scary to me), kids who never learn social skills or the golden rule, kids who never learn consequences for their actions because parents threaten to sue schools who dare to discipline them (in Illinois there was a big story about some really awful hazing and the parents of the perpetrators were up in arms that the school wanted to expell their perfect children), kids who fall through the cracks at school because of poverty or undiagnosed learning disabilities...

Do these sound like kids that are going to grow up secure and happy and able to be good people? Sure, kids are incredibly resillient and many probably will turn out okay despite all these things. But I'd be willing to bet that the circumstances described above are or will be responsible for an increase in confused, angry adults who don't know right from wrong and demand instant gratification without considering any consequences, and lack the imagination to express their frustrations in a constructive manner.

Just my $0.02

[LynzM]

53. Good points

I agree about the clothes for kids, too... I'm not a prude either, but kids under, oh, say...12? Should not be dressing like pop stars, IMO. I think there is less raising of kids to be empathetic, able to work things out with others, able to understand and accept consequences of their actions. Whether this translates to more problems already, or just a continued worsening over time, I'm not really sure. I guess we'll find out :(

[Hoping4Change]

64. When I was a kid I had 4 run-ins with real wirdos.

One guy chased us thru a ravine with his privates covered with blood hanging put of his pants. We ran away but and he disappeared only to pop out of the buxhes and I slammed right into him. I had no clue what he was up to. I backed off and we all ran like crazy put of the ravine.


Another time a friend and I were on a ferry going to the Toronto island. I must of been 12. A older man with a white cane asked for out help so we helped him off the ferry when we were away form other people he treid grabbing us and wwe realized he wasnt blind at all. Luckily we got away.

My best friend parents rented out a bedroom to a roomer, an old man. My friend would tell how he'd expose himself to her (she was about 111 or 12 at the time)


In all these instances we never reported these incidents to our parents. I think crap has always happened but at that time never talked about.

[solinvictus]

13. Sticks, green army men, toy guns, and Star Wars..

Those were my source of amusements during the summer. I was lucky to stay with my Granny all summer. She lived in the country and I'd spend days and many nights with her. In the morning, I'd either help her in the garden or cut the grass while the temperature was relatively cool. Then, once the day heated up, I'd go under a huge oak tree and play. I used two old pine stumps to make either forts for army men or starports for my broken stick spaceships.

It was funny, my army men were a mixed bag of green Americans, tan British, tan Japanese, and some gray Germans as well. The Americans were either modern or WW2 era. I used to give the fort, tank, cannon, and helicopter to the Americans and use the remaining forces as guerillas or invaders. At times, I'd trade around at school or buy some extra cannon to give the invaders.

I was an only child, so I used to imagine I was either a French Foreign Legion soldier ( "Beau Geste" played on the local late show a lot), a marooned Rebel pilot or bounty hunter from "Star Wars" (I had an old steel cooler I pretended was an R2 unit), or a member of the French or Yugoslav resistance in WW2. I did have some really cool toy guns as well. My Star Wars blaster rifle looked like a Sten. I also had an old Kadet bolt action toy, a Kentucky rifle cap gun, a musket pistol, a toy M-16, a toy Thompson, and a toy C-96 Broomhandle Mauser. I'm certain my Granny thought I looked amusing sneaking around the woods with my toy pistol, canteen, and binoculars. She even made me a fake pioneer hat and a Russian type fur hat for my "adventures".

While playing with my Star Wars stuff, Boba Fett always had the Millenium Falcon. I loved that figure, considering I saved proofs of purchase and checked the mail for six weeks before I got him.

Imagination is dying and unfortunately, multimedia has been instrumental in doing so. Why think, read, or play when a machine can do it for you? I own a PS2, but I'd bet I've spent maybe 6 hours playing games on it.

You know something, this imaginatitive play, with my Granny, likely saved my life at the time. My parents were in an ugly ugly divorce and drug me into it at every time. Imagination is a great liberator.

[Hardrada]

70. When my parents divorced in sound and fury

I pretended I was a pirate one whole summer and my Grandparents took me in and rescued me.

[DS1]

14. The kids on my block and I used to play manhunt for hours each night

it seemed. We'd go well past dark :shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

15. I know exactly what you mean.

I am fortunate in that I stayed home when my kids were little and they played outside all day. We fenced in the back yard so the little ones were safe from the street and I and the other moms would sometimes sit on the deck drinking iced tea and watching them. They played in the sandbox, on the swingset, in the wading pool, and seemed to have a great time.

I recognize that things are different now, because of the * economy, so many women have to work to help pay the bills. I consider that I was extremely lucky that I didn't have to leave them to do that.

My son and daughter, 12, 8 still play outside a great deal. We bought them a trampoline (with a net) and they love that. It is great exercise and they come in exhausted.

The teenager loves to go to the pool in the community with her friends, and I don't have a problem with that either, because she is supervised there by adults and it is pretty harmless fun.

I think my kids are actually having a pretty idyllic childhood. I hope their lives continue that way.

[trof]

17. I think I'll start a playing academy.

I'll charge outrageous tuition for very limited class sizes.
Admission testing will be highly competitive.
Those with a family income of less that $500,000 annually need not apply.
Parents will know that their offspring's chances in life are totally ruined if they aren't accepted in Trof's Self-Amusement and Group Activities Academy.
;-)

[Democrat 4 Ever]

22. I'm betting you would have a waiting list within a month if you

make it expensive enough and exclusive enough. There are parents who will pay anything if they think they can impress somebody with their little darlings "achievements." We are society of not keeping up with the Joneses but keeping two steps ahead of the Joneses and rubbing their faces in it.

[Pool Hall Ace]

20. Even though my neighborhood has plenty of moms at home,

there isn't a whole lot of play (and it seems everyone has either a swingset or trampoline in the back yard).

I'm aware of some of the kids' schedules, though. Not only are many playing more than one sport, but they also play for their school team, the rec league, and a select traveling league. Add to that their afterschool activities, homework, and trips to places like Sylvan Learning Center, and I can see why they would prefer just to zone out in front of the TV or videogames when they are home.

[alarimer]

21. I feel the same way

Part of it is video games and computers but I think there is a sense that things aren't as safe as before. But I think that is not true. Crimes are reported on the news on a daily basis. Local news is especially bad. Because of modern mass communication we hear about every abduction and incident that makes it seem as if things are more dangerous but I don't believe they actually are. We are more paranoid.
I also think that new neighborhoods in a lot of places are not conducive to outdoor activities. The house occupies nearly the entire lot. There is a small backyard with an enormous fence (gotta protect us from nosy neighbors, don't you know). It isn't conducive to people getting to know their neighbors either. I think that is a major part of the problem too. If neighbors got to know each other, maybe there would be less fear. I realize that every neighborhood isn't like this; this just what I see of the construction around here. It is sterile and bland in other ways too.

[trof]

26. A road trip down nostalgia lane...

I was born in 1941. I think I got my first bike when I was around 8 or 9.
It looked like this:


At first, I was told NOT leave the backyard, and I didn't. When I had worn a dirt track around the perimeter it was decided that I could venture out onto the sidewalk around the block. But I must NOT get off the block, nor ride in the street. I must have ridden around that block a million times.

A few months later, I was allowed to ride my bike to David's house, two blocks away. I was told to GET OFF AND WALK IT across streets, and I did.

Eventually I was allowed to leave the house on my bike with no restrictions. I don't think I have ever had such a feeling of total freedom before or since. I went everywhere. The world, or at least the environs of Birmingham, Alabama, was my oyster. Me and my bunch of 3 or 4 buddies were a roving gang of explorers, looking for adventure.

On one expedition we rode all the way to the L&N rail yards right downtown. Parked our bikes against a fence and hitched rides on yard engines shuttling freight cars back and forth until a yard bull (cop) ran us off. My mother would have sh*t a brick if she had known. Our bikes were right where we left them, no locks, no nuthin'. And we never wore helmets. We would have made fun of anyone who did. I still think they look dumb. I don't remember anybody ever suffering life threatening head injuries, and we sure took our share of spills. Maybe we were just tougher back then. ;-) I digress.

We rode up Red Mountain and played around and up and down the Vulcan statue.

We played Huck and Tom and Injun Joe and Robin Hood and cowboys and Indians in the abandoned iron ore mines below the crest of the mountain. We came home covered in red mud from head to toe and got our asses chewed and were hosed down in the back yard with our clothes on and thought this was the best thing EVER.

Once we found an abandoned mansion with an empty oval swimming pool in back. We rode our bikes into the pool and then around and around, faster and faster, until we were nearly horizontal to the bottom, just like the motorcycle riders in the steel cage at the fair. COOL!

Yeah, it's a shame kids don't know how to play any more.
Thanks for the nostalgia trip.
:hi:

[hfojvt]

34. thanks for telling us about "rosebud"

I was not that adventuresome. The first time I remember going around the block, I ran into a kid who threatened to beat me up. My brother and I and some neighborhood friends used to play alot in our backyard until the day I went out to hit baseballs and my first shot went sailing over the populars at the end of our yard. Our backyard neighbor had a picture window in the back of his house. I was afraid I had hit his house, or would, if I hit any more. So that was the end of backyard baseball. I also stayed inside and did alot of reading, when my brother would let me, or played basketball in our driveway. We also watched alot of TV too - Lassie, Brady Bunch, Gilligan's Island, The Price is Right, Tattletales, and even Star Trek, if I could find it. I was born in '62, so not much in the way of video or computer games.

[trof]

60. My bike's name was "Trigger". I was a Roy Rogers fan.

[City Lights]

30. I agree with what you're saying.

Another issue my kids have to deal with is friends that are over-scheduled. One example is a friend who spends 12 hours each week dancing. The remaining time is spent on homework, music lessons, chores, etc., with little or no time to unwind with friends.

I think organized activities are great, but parents that allow (or force) their kids to "do it all" are doing their children a disservice.

[NV Whino]

32. Because they don't read any more

Their imaginations have atrophied.

[tjdee]

33. I have a little girl, and I don't want her to get snatched.

And I was reading upthread that there is probably the *perception* of there being a lot of pedophiles around as opposed to the *reality* of pedophiles. Which may be true.

But I'm uncomfortable with the idea of her going to someone's house, perhaps to find guns in an unlocked drawer or be alone with dad's friend from work who's visiting, or anything like that.

I kind of laugh when I see that in movies, young kids just out playing with no parents. Times have changed. I also don't leave my front door unlocked, etc.

She's almost 6, though, which is too young for that anyway--and we don't live in an area with any kids her age (they're all 10-12 or 2-3). I do try to get her to "play dates"...

[Democrat 4 Ever]

36. We all have children we don't want snatched. You made it

sound like we didn't watch or care for our children. Of course we did. And at no time did I let my girls spend time in a home that I did not know. They could play in the yard, their friends were always welcomed but playing in the house was off limits. Besides the obvious of who wants 6-7 kids running around the house when there is a perfectly nice outdoors to rip and romp in, you could aways see and hear the kids or call the neighbor and tell them to send the kids home. I hate that term "play date." Like play has to be scheduled. Sorry for the rant.

Now my subdivision would probably be an anomaly nowadays. It was out in the country (kids couldn't walk anywhere except to each other's house), was a dead end with one way in and out of the area and a very active (tho informal) neighborhood association of 20-30 families. We had summer "block" parties, cook outs, Christmas progressive dinners, Halloween, New Year's, etc. (I remember a 50s scavenger hunt as a riot.) So we knew all of the families and they knew us. Maybe that is what missing today, neighborhoods and neighbors. I haven't lived in the subdivision for 15 years now but I still hear and visit with many of my former neighbors and could borrow a cup of sugar from any one of them.

And it did take a village - or at least a decent subdivision - to raise those kids.

[tjdee]

42. I didn't mean to make it sound that way.

Oh, no no. Everyone cares about their kids, and I didn't mean to imply that people were being neglectful or anything like that. I'm sorry if it came across like that.

When I laugh at it in films, I meant older films, and it's usually a "you can't do that anymore, LOL" thing. Some of the things being talked about in this thread, like going out and not coming back till dinner time, etc.... I can't even imagine letting my child do that for the reasons I've stated. But 10, 20, 30 years ago, I probably would have.

It would be different if she had a sibling, and I am a worry wart, I admit that.

I hate the term "play date" too...I use it begrudgingly, LOL.

[Democrat 4 Ever]

54. Sorry, didn't mean to snap. And believe it or not - I was a worry

wart, too. I just knew they were safe close to home. Let's not talk about when they got their driving license! I was sure every trip to the store for a loaf of bread had the potential of being a 70 car pile-up with visions of helicopters, air lifting and emergency rooms. I wasn't quite that bad but it was really hard to let go and let them drive. I knew they were good, responsible kids but also knew there were some total morons on the road with them.

[Left Is Write]

43. I grew up in a neighborhood like that, though it was in the suburbs.

Until 1977, our street backed up to a vast expanse of farmland. I distinctly remember cows coming up to our fence while we were outside playing.

I grew up on a street full of kids. Everyone knew each other. There wasn't a single family from one end of our street to the other (about a mile) that we didn't know. The greater neighborhood surrounding our neighborhood was full of people we knew also through school and clubs and just running around. Whole bands of kids roamed around together on Halloween, trick-or-treating in large groups. Back then (early 70s; I was born in '66) we still got things like homemade popcorn balls and caramel apples for Halloween treats, made by people we knew.

I remember having games of Spud and Hide and Seek that spanned four or five yards at a time.

[KittyWampus]

35. IMO, This Is Where A LOT Of Violence Comes From- TV & Video Games

not really the violence contained in those things but the act of sitting and NOT using your own imagination.

Human beings are creative and, to be healthy, must find a way of expressing their creativity.

Sitting passively watching the fruits of someone else's creativity day in and day out represses our own creative energy.

Eventually, our creative energy WILL find a way to let itself out... only not in positive ways.

[Left Is Write]

44. So far, we have successfully avoided getting any video game

systems. No Nintendo, no Playstation, no Xbox. My teenager has never been into video games, and the younger kids are only five and three. They have reading and math games for the computer, but no actual "video games."

I will hold off on having those in our house for as long as is humanly possible. At this point, my kids still have to rely heavily on their imaginations to play, whether indoors or out, and I'd like to keep it that way as long as I can.

I hope they will love reading as much as I do. I can remember whiling away pleasant afternoons sitting under the willow tree in our yard, going through one or two Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden books at a sitting.

[KarenS]

40. One other thing about 'back then'

there used to be folks out,,, working in their yards, sweeping the porch, tending the flower beds, working on their cars, walking to the corner store and on and on. Folks knew each other too AND they knew whose kid that was,,,, The busy-ness of both parents working outside the home makes for weekends full of housework and errands and not enough of that old fashioned putzing around the yard and keeping half-an-eye on the kids playing,,,,

For better or for worse, things are very different from when I grew up.

[oldcoot]

45. Where would they play?

When I was growing up during the 1970s, my parents were not rich but all our houses had fair-sized backyards. Many houses today are built on postage stamps and kids do not have a place to play other than the street. Many places have also been slow in setting aside land for public parks. If kids had room to play, they would probably take advantage of it.

[RetroLounge]

46. My 2 kids are outside my window now, PLAYING.

So unstroke your broad brush.

Parents who buy them that crap may be a better rant.

RL

[tridim]

49. It might be the uncontrolled and wild teenage boys

Last week I heard a shocking conversation from outside my window. A neighbor's cousin (I think), a 13-14 year old punk kid was talking to the neighborhood 12-13 year old girls. In just a few minutes time he said things like, "Hey little 13 year old, you're hot", "Have you ever had sex?" and "Show me your tits". All he talked about was sex. I was ready to put a stop to it, but the girls ended up running away from the punk before I had the chance. They were scared.

I can't imagine what damage that kind of talk has on teen girls. From what I've observed, teen boys are much more sexual and disrespectful of girls than kids were in the 80's. Of course I thought about sex when I was a teen, but I would never had said something like that punk did.

[leftchick]

50. my two boys play....

They do not own any electronic toys. It is card games, board games and outdoor games for us. They only get tv cartoons on Saturday as well. Just ask them, "I am Mean"! :eyes:

They will love me for it someday. I hope.

[ladjf]

52. The human body wasn't designed to sit still gazing at an

electronic box for eight hours per day. And when you use a machine in ways other than for which it was designed, failure in inevitable.

[El Fuego]

55. When I was a kid...

We played in the woods, built tree forts, fished, and caught toad frogs, snakes and lizards.

I'm glad we didn't have video games.

[48pan]

57. Kids should be limited...

to less than 3 hours of computer/TV time each day. I was teaching students to print mailing labels with MS Access last week. Fully one fifth of my college freshmen didn't know how to address an envelope.

Get them away from electronic devices including cell phones and calculators. These are crutches that keep them from learning to live and communicate effectively. (They can't cook either)

(rant off)

[AgadorSparticus]

58. didn't anyone play league of justice? i remember folding aluminum

foil and taping it to use as wonder woman's power wrist cuffs. we'd run all over the place defending imaginary enemies.

and when my cousins weren't around, i'd get lost in coloring books and markers. i still remember the day my parents got me the crayola big box of crayons. i cherished the silver and gold crayons. only used them on special occasions. lol

maybe with all the talk about fear and terror nowadays, parents are naturally getting protective of their kids. i don't know. but i think it's sad kids aren't pushed to use their imaginations like they used to...

[KittyWampus]

65. Amazing How Precious "Little" Things Like Gold/Silver Crayons Can Be

to a kid.

That's a part of us we shouldn't lose when we get older.

I had a box of found objects that was my treasure chest. :)

[Karenina]

59. My sisters and I saddled up at sunrise

on summer weekends and headed for the woods, usually returning when the sun got too hot. When we were little we were in a village where everyone's mom spoke a different shrill language. International translator: STOP THAT!!! BEHAVE OR I'LL GET MY SWITCH!!! QUIET!!! und so weiter und sofort. We were a tribe of kids and someone was always hovering about... we had a good square mile for our adventures.

MY KIDS were 7 & 9 before they were allowed the a fraction of the freedom I'd enjoyed to roam the terrain, uncover salamanders, chase lightning bugs at 5...

[solinvictus]

62. You're not kidding!

I got the run of the yard and woods at age 5. I used to make ramps and play Evil Knievel with my bicycle.

[gyopsy]

61. Things are fine today

My generation grew up playing many video games. Today, most have outgrown them and have adjusted to normal adult life.

[ikojo]

63. I think the primary reason kids don't have free form play

these days, instead they have "playdates", is due to the culture of fear that exists in the US. Most kids are brought up to fear "strangers" (what most people don't realize is that in a majority of cases kids who are abused are abused by someone they know and are friendly with).

Parents at work tell me that they don't allow their kids outside unless they are outside and the parents don't want to sit outside for long periods of time.

[mahina]

66. Kids are fine. My kids are anyhow.

I used to walk across a valley with horses and cows, cross a stream filled with crayfish and 'opae (little red native Hawaiian shrimps, wash the mud off which was sometimes up to your knees and walk into the classroom. Even if the pasture wasn't UH faculty housing now, I don't think I would let my kid walk through that anymore. Jeez it was great. Apples for the horses. Sunny days with rain and rainbows.
It still smells just the same there, the river runs right next to the houses.
sigh.
My kids are fine, thank god, they read a ton, have fun projects, good kids for friends, they are in better shape than I was physically, emotionally, developmentally. Less drama in their lives.
It would be nice if they had as much open space but we still have the beaches and the mountains thank god.
Thank you for a nice reflective thread.

[Maestro]

67. Just for the record

my kids were outside almost the whole day. We played and played. And yes, band-aids, hugs and kisses were available in large amounts.

[BBradley]

68. I don't think that's true at all.

Kids play outside all the time. I'm 18 years old and remember playing outside with the neighborhood kids all throughout elementary school. I was heavy into video games as well, but still went outside when and played when I got home from school...

Maybe when I'm old I can fantasize about how I had respect for my elders back in my day, and that kids were brimming with imagination, too.

I still see the younger kids outside rollerblading, skateboarding, or playing flashlight tag at night. Just because a new medium for entertainment is gaining prominence doesn't mean old fashioned imagination is dying.

[texas1928]

69. Plus you found out the real world does not have a reset button.

When things get bad. You had to learn how to get out of trouble. Also when you fell down it hurt.

[NYdemocrat089]

71. I remember playing as a child.

I'm 15, so I'm still pretty young, and I remember that we always played outside without technology. Some of my favorite times were when we were outside playing hide and seek or kickball. The only times we were inside was if we couldn't go outside.
Even if we were inside we played. I remember playing school, or house, or doctor.

[shugah]

72. cuz these are the good old days

theeeeeese aaaaaaaaarrrrre the good old days.

there never really have been any "good old days." perceptions of childhood are wonderful selective memories.

about the only thing in your rant i agree with is that kids need to play. but then i disagree with your criteria for "play." what you did and what your kids did - all great good stuff! but do you really think that your definition/expectation of "play" extends across the board?

reality of the day, technology, societal changes ... best thing a parent can do is raise a child to live in the world s/he will be living in...

and that is today's world - no better or worse than any time in the past or the future. just today...when we are raising our children.

[fooj]

73. When we grew up, kids were allowed to be kids!

Now- you can't let them out of your sight! We've created a horrible environment for them. Talk about the "Culture of Fear"...

Peace!

[onager]

74. It was always the same...

When I was a kid in the "safe Sixties"...and in the Buckle On The Bible Belt, upstate South Carolina, no less...a local Methodist preacher went to jail for sexually abusing young boys. He would take them on weekend camping trips and such, and naturally all the parents trusted him.

The local gossip said none of the kids ever reported him, either. But one of them went to a doctor, the doctor noticed strange marks on his private parts, and got the truth out of him.

My mother even talked about this happening in the Forties when she was a little girl, in a VERY small cotton-mill town. There was one local character who would get drunk and expose himself to girls. But everyone knew him by sight, and knew where he hung out (no pun intended)--in the tunnel under a railroad overpass, which was a short cut to the local school.

Every time he did it, the cops would pick him up and toss him in jail until he sobered up. Then he was a model citizen until he went off on his next toot.

[FlaGranny]

75. I'm not sure about kids not playing any more.

My grandkids certainly play. But the toys are different. When I was a little kid (I was quite the tomboy), I used to dream of having toys that would move on their own. Springloaded action didn't cut it with me. I actually dreamed about having toys like that. Now the kids actually have them. When my own kids were small, there were still no remote control devices. We were looking at pictures last night and found one of my oldest son playing with his absolute favorite toy at the age of 3 to 5 - a large set of wooden blocks, which he used to build anything he could imagine. I remember he was also fascinated with huge tractor trailers - the real ones, and after that, toy trucks. When the grandkids obtain possession of a large box, they love to play in it, just like I did when I was their age. Sometimes I think parents forget that everyday things like boxes can be great toys for kids to play with.