Headlines We'd Like to Read, March 31, 2005

[skip fox]

Mourners Channeling Terri Schiavo Complain of Blasphemous Screes

what else?

[rainbow4321]

1. "The media agrees to totally end Terri coverage from here on out" n/t

[Emops]

2. "Rush Limbaugh's Feeding Tube Removed"

[skip fox]

3. Then he should be down to twenty years.

:toast:

[madinmaryland]

4. George W Bush admits to the Nation that he lied about going to War!"

Has offered to step down, and let Al Gore run the government until a rightful president can be elected.

One can dream, at least.

[skip fox]

5. A dream in sparkling technicolor!

}(

[jswordy]

6. Rest in peace, Terry. And may the healing of the living begin. n/t

[LSK]

7. "President Dean announces plan to balance the budget within 2 years."

[Arkana]

8. President Kerry To Withdraw Troops From Iraq

Bush: 'I'm A Complete Moron And I Don't Even Know Why I'm Here...The Other Guy Won Anyway'

Edit: More...

Dick Cheney Discovered Dead For 10 Years, Vice President Actually Cyborg

X-Ray Shows Laura Bush Missing Temporal Lobe

Jenna Bush: I'm Carrying My Daddy's Baby!

Physical Reveals Barbara Bush To Be A 65-Year-Old Man Named Fred

Bush: 'I'm Being Haunted By The Ghost Of Terri Schiavo!'

[skip fox]

12. Sweethearts every one!

:toast:

[Rambis]

9. Christian fundies stop threatening to kill x husband and family

In a show of Christianity followers of God have decided not the threaten to take the life of Terry Schaivo's X husband and his family. " We decided killing him or anyone in his family would be well, not Kosher" said one fundie lunatic.

[skip fox]

10. DA: Bush Sold Drugs to Limbaugh.

ah . . . one can dream

[skip fox]

11. VP's Undisclosed Location: The Hooters in Newark!

:toast:

[skip fox]

13. WH Seeks New Political Advisor Through Want Ads

:toast:

[Left Is Write]

14. Bush Conviced On Multiple Charges; Sentencing To Follow

[texas1928]

15. Diebold machines found to be defective.

Serious security flaw found in the Voting Machines used in the 2004 elections. Also it was found that the RNC used these flaws to change the votes cast. All top leading RNC persons are under investigation for election fraud. All election results have been put on hold. Any laws, that have been passed since the 2004 election are in limbo due to the election being flawed. It seems that the Republican party did not win as many states as first beleived. President Bush and his administration have been taken into custody.

[Zuni]

16. Hannity caught in tryst with mountain goat

[skip fox]

19. Yikes!

:toast:

[bertha katzenengel]

17. I still want to see "Songbirds Raise Funds for Feline Body Armor."

[skip fox]

18. You're right, that IS a good one.

Dr. Szeus (sp?) would approve, as do I.