Why can't people just say someone has *died*?

[BurtWorm]

Why "passed?" Is this somehow better than "passed away" or "passed on?"

Something about that expression hits me wrong.

PS: On edit, it's the pseudo-delicacy of it. That's what hits me wrong.

[flamingyouth]

I don't know, but I've always found it weird

When the police called and told me my husband was dead, she said, "I'm sorry, but he has passed away..." and I agree about the pseudo-delicacy you're talking about here.

[BurtWorm]

15. It's an uncomfortable subject for people, certainly

especially when they're conveying news to someone affected by someone else's death. Maybe most people prefer not to have the fact of their loss put to them so bluntly. But I might bristle if someone told me my wife had "passed." This seems especially off-base if the "passing" was violent or sudden.

On the other hand, I can sympathize with people who have to bear bad news wanting to find some indirect way of breaking it.

By the way, did I hear that someone drove into a building you own? Talk about getting bad news! I hope no one was hurt and you have good insurance.

[flamingyouth]

20. I would really, dearly hate to the be person who bears bad news

Especially having to do it for a living. It would really get me down.

And yes, a drunk driver plowed through the front of my store (I don't own the building) Tuesday night. We're still tallying the damage, which is substantial, considering it's a china shop and his car was completely in the store.

Thanks for asking. We are in the very early stages of dealing with the insurance co. now; the claim is so large it has to go to a special division or something. :hi:

[BurtWorm]

21. Oy!

Here's some white light:

[flamingyouth]

23. Ah! Thank you!

I feel bathed in it! :D

[iamjoy]

1. We Like To Think...

They are in a better place.
She has passed on to heaven
He has passed away from this mortal life.

Died just sounds like, that's it, there's nothinge else.
A lot of people are uncomfortable with or can't accept that.

[BurtWorm]

4. Well I do accept that. And I wish more people would.

I hate to be cold, but "died" is more descriptive of what happened. "Passed" is an evasion. I'm not planning to "pass."

[ashmanonar]

14. exactly.

i'm not gonna "pass". i'm gonna go out kicking and screaming, being a dirty old man and fooling around with the nurses at the retirement home.

they're gonna have to drag me to hell with pitchforks.

:D

:evilgrin:

[Liberal Veteran]

2. I took a class on thanatology in high school where we discussed this.

It comes down to our fear of death itself that we address it with euphemisms.

[BurtWorm]

22. They offered thanatology classes in your high school?

Far out! :applause:

[Liberal Veteran]

24. What's even more far out is that it was a public school in Georgia.

And it was one of the best classes I ever took either in high school or college.

[BurtWorm]

25. Did you know what the hell it was from the course title?

:o

[Liberal Veteran]

26. Yes. Sorta. We had a course catalog, so there was a brief description.

It was under the subject of "Humanities" as I recall.

[Demit]

3. When I was younger, I disdained the euphemism too

Then when my dad died, and friends' parents died, it seemed to come naturally to my lips. Especially when I would think about my dad, wondering if there was a place where he was now. It's a gentle expression that helps, somehow.

[jswordy]

5. In some cultures within our country, it is disrespectful to speak of...

the dead as having died, and so euphemisms are used. That is the God's honest truth. Some euphemisms are better than others

:shrug:

[Nye Bevan]

6. It's an American thing

Growing up in England nobody used euphemisms. "Grandpa died last night", my mother told me. (We also said "going to the toilet" instead of "using the bathroom").

[jswordy]

7. Oh BTW, my personal fav is "gone to Glory." It's a Southern thang. n/t

[Az]

8. Because we cannot know the state of mind of those we are informing

We simply do not know how others are going to take the death of someone. Death of a loved one is one of the most tramatic events a person can experience. Even the death of someone we may not even be aquainted with can make an impact on people.

For this reason until we know the state of mind of those we are addressing it is customary to parce the information in as lite a way as possible. This means leaving avenues open pertaining to the number of beliefs about what happens after death.

[BurtWorm]

16. As I was saying above, I can sympathize with bearers of bad news.

But no one on DU knows Terri Schiavo personally, and we were all expecting her to die. So why can't people just spill it? She died.

[Benhurst]

9. I agree with you entirely.

As if the person with whom you are talking doesn't know the person is DEAD.

When my parents died, I got so tired of hearing about "God's plan" and my having "lost" them. No, I did not lose them, they DIED. And even if it were "God's plan" (which I doubt since I'm sure He had more important matters at hand than killing off my parents) it was, to say the least, a damn stupid and cruel one.

[Squeech]

10. I say

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

This was the eulogy John Cleese delivered for Graham Chapman. R.I.P.

[crispini]

13. No, did he really?

Wow. I recognize it, but I had no idea he actually gave that as the eulogy. Too. Funny.

[BurtWorm]

19. That certainly makes it clear.

:thumbsup:

'E's not dead, 'e's restin'.

(That must have been some funeral! )

[Lydia Leftcoast]

11. I heard that the expression was invented during the nineteenth century

by the Spiritualists, who enjoyed huge popularity in the latter half of that era.

[skygazer]

12. It bothers me, too

Just as the phrase "put to sleep" bothers me. In my mind, if you tell a kid that his cat is being put to sleep, and he knows darn well it means you're euthanizing it, you stand a good chance of giving him a phobia about going to sleep!

I'm not into being brutal, but I do appreciate honesty. People die. That's a fact. If you believe they're going to a better place, then it should not be something that upsets you to hear it spoken.

Maybe I'm just too logical.

[AntiCoup2K4]

17. Because she died 15 years ago, so they need a different word?

:shrug:

[terrya]

18. I guess it's better than saying someone has "kicked the bucket"

[GreenPartyVoter]

27. I like to think of it as graduating to the next level.. hence, "passed".

Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/liberalchristians.htm