Supreme Court Ruling Re Schiavo (Satire)

[REP]

from a usenet post:

"I was sorry for you once. I really was. But that's over. Good freaking
Lord, is THAT over. You batshit nutballs can't even go through an hour
without having a 15-second long 'press conference' that consists of a
one-sentence statement delivered by one person with 57 other people
escorting them to the microphone. You've told us that her skin is
peeling and her lips are bleeding, and then hours later that she's doing
fine. You've told us that all you want to do is to take her home, and
then you've taken the list of addlepated loons who sent you money and
sold it to televangelists.

"You've been turned down by every court in the land except Judge Judy,
and when we've told you no you've come back again and again like we're
as stupid as you are and we're going to change our minds by magic.

"For the sake of motherfucking Jesus Christ, it's 11 o'clock at night,
I've got to hear a whole docket of cases in the morning, I'm trying to
relax with a book and a wine spritzer before going to bed, and you're
back like a whining child who refuses to hear the word N-O. We've HAD
it. William Rehnquist is an ailing old man who needs his rest, and poor
Sandy O'Connor is back on her nerve medicine from all of this. You're a
pain in my flinty New England ass, is what you are, and if you idiots
were on a feeding tube yourselves, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and I would be
pleased to take turns personally pulling it out like we were starting a
goddamn lawn mower. Now go have one of your hourly press conferences,
put your Ben Stiller-assed-lookalike son on Fox News for the 20th time
today, and LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE.

"Respectfully submitted for the Court, Justice David Souter."

(written by Gutterboy)

[grannylib]

1. Hee HEEE!!! Hilarious.

As a Christian, I could do without abusing poor Jesus' name, but that's freakin' hilarious anyway, hee hee!

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. thsi iIS funny

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[Dookus]

3. almost perfect...

but Anthony Kennedy handles their appeals, not Souter. But very, very funny.

[REP]

5. Take It Up With the Piece's Author

It ain't me.

[Technowitch]

4. That's the best laugh I've had all day

Thank you.