Hillbilly Medical Terms

[CO Liberal]

Benign - What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.

Barium - What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan - Searching for the cat.

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.

Colic - A sheep dog.

Coma - A punctuation mark.

D&C - Where Washington is.

Dilate - To live longer than your kids do.

Enema - Not a friend.

Fester - Quicker than someone else.

Fibula - A small lie.

G.I.Series - World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail - What you hang your coat on.

Hospital - The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

Impotent - Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Morbid - A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.

Node - I knew it.

Outpatient - A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear - A fatherhood test.

Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative - A letter carrier.

Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.

Secretion - Hiding something

Seizure - Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Tablet - A small table to change babies on.

Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor - More than one.

Urine - Opposite of mine.

Varicose - Near by

[redsoxliberal]

1. "Varicose - Near by"

CLASSIC! :D