You know you're from Florida when ...

[RagingInMiami]

* You have lived here for more than three years and begin complaining about all these fucking northerners and Latin Americans cluttering up the place.

* You think nothing of using the bicycle or emergency lane to bypass the slow car in front of you, even if he already is traveling 20 miles over the speed limit.

* You live and die -- and will kill -- for either the Miami Hurricanes, the Florida Gators or the Florida State Seminoles.

* You pack a loaded gun in your waistband when driving down to the corner to buy a gallon of milk. You just never know what might happen.

* You scoff at all the outsiders who complain there are "no seasons" in your state. How about fucking tourist season, and snowbird season, and hurricane season and more importantly, football season?

* You feel neglected when two weeks have gone by and there is no mention of Florida in the national news.

* When either you, a family member or a neighbor arrived from Cuba or some other Latin American country with not even a pot to piss in.

* When you can buy a Cuban sandwich, a Jamaican patty, a Colombian arepa and an Argentine empanada all within a two block radius.

* When people talk about the "big one" you automatically know they're talking about Hurricane Andrew.

* When your property value has doubled in the last two years.

* When the last time you wore socks was in 2001 -- and that was cause you got invited to a wedding.

* When you know all the lyrics to every Jimmy Buffet song.

* When you really don't give a fuck about how it's "done up north".

* When you're more afraid of the police than your local crack dealer.

[Dr.Phool]

1. I've been here just over 2 years

And I'm already complainin' about the snowbirds! Go 'Canes!

[RagingInMiami]

3. And you're smack in the middle of Gator Country

[tinfoilinfor2005]

2. when you automatically do the red ant shuffle

when standing in the grass talking to someone (shuffling from one foot to another so a red ant ant won't crawl in your sandal).

[RagingInMiami]

6. Good one

[Ganja Ninja]

4. The second one is Florida all the way. n/t

[lpbk2713]

5. When you're driving and see an out of state car tag

going the same direction as you, you automatically give it an extra two or three car lengths of room (watch out for that left turn from the right lane).