Kitty Joke

[Bronco69]

Kitty Heaven

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."

The cat says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?"

The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life! And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

[Freebird12004]

1. lovely morning smile

:hi: and thanks!!!

[mom cat]

2. Oldie, but still a goodie.

[displacedtexan]

3. Hilarious!

Coffee on keyboard.

Gotta clean up now.

[B Calm]

4. What happens when Republicans take Viagra?

Their heads get taller...

[Born in the Maze]

5. Easter Joke

I read this today on two different sites:

They're cancelling Easter...

This year?

No, for good. Seems they found the body...

[B Calm]

6. Boss & his Secretary

Boss & his Secretary

The boss stood up to leave his secretary’s office. She says, your barracks door is open. He turns red and zips up his fly. After returning to his office, he thinks to himself, every damn time I see her, she has some smart ass remark to embarrass me. So after a little thought he marches back into her office. He says, just a little bit ago when you noticed my barracks door was open, did you notice the little soldier standing at attention?

She replies, oh hell no, the only thing I seen was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffle bags.