Internet dating question #1346

[JohnnyCougar]

So, as many of you know, I posted profiles on a couple of internet sites and I got a bunch of interesting replies. This one girl in particular was more interesting than the rest, and we have been exchanging e-mails for about 3 weeks now. She seems interested in me in her responses, and has expresed desire to meet up. But I have not heard from her in 10 days. Should I be looking for someone else? Is 10 days too long to wait for a response?

[hippiechick]

1. Yes

I'm guessing her fingers typed out a check her ass couldn't cash.


Good luck !

[Stephanie]

2. YOU have to contact HER

Are you saying you sent the last email and she did not respond? You have to take the initiative and pursue her if you are interested. You will get nowhere if you are meek. Be aggressive. Why have you waited so long to meet anyway?

*edit* to add - dating is not an equal opportunity sport - men generally have to take more responsibility - if you want to see her you have to let her know - she doesn't feel feminine in pursuing you - you do it!

[JohnnyCougar]

4. Yes...I sent the last e-mail.

To be honest, last week I was in Alabama doing an internship project. But we have been talking about meeting for 3 weeks now, and I haven't heard from her since I got back on Friday. The last time I e-mailed her was last Tuesday.

She did say she was busy with work...but we have really clicked in our e-mail exchanges.

I guess I don't know what to think.

[JohnnyCougar]

22. I think your advice worked...thanks!

[Stephanie]

24. Wooo hooo!

that's excellent!

[Freebird12004]

3. yes

10 days sounds like a 'player' to me

[imenja]

6. she could be busy or have overlooked the email

If he's interested he should send another message or two. If he doesn't hear back, move on.

[JohnnyCougar]

8. Well, she talked about working a hectic schedule

but even with a hectic schedule, I would have gotten back to someone in 10 days.

Maybe I'll send her another e-mail tonight. The thing is, I feel like a stalker sending a second e-mail, but I feel like a jerk if I start talking to another girl that has responded to me and she is still interested. I guess I'll have to ask her.

[imenja]

11. a second email is not stalking

especially when you're a guy. There is a double standard when it comes to these things. If it's on your mind, why not give it another shot? What have you got to lose?

[Freebird12004]

23. If you're really interested - you shouldn't give up

Something could have come up - like a date with one of her other email connections.

Or she may have had real problems that would prevent her from dropping you a quick reply to your emails.

Email dating leaves so many unanswered questions. But I've met interesting people that I would never have met and other way.

[alarimer]

5. This has just happened to me

I was corresponding with an interesting guy but I sent two emails about 10 days ago and got no response to either one so I waited a few days to see if maybe he was out of town or something. I have heard nothing so I figure that he is not interested or had found someone else (or maybe something happened during his flying lesson! I certainly hope that isn't true). So I guess I will write this person off. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[crispini]

7. I would give her one more email...

just a "hi, just wanted to see if you were still interested in meeting for coffee" short and sweet ... and if she still doesn't reply, don't bother. Who knows what goes on in people's lives?

And for pete's sake, don't email back and forth for three weeks next time. That gets old really fast. You should ask her out for coffee after three or four exchanges, max. It's better to get real ASAP...

[JohnnyCougar]

9. I did...after the third e-mail, i asked her to go to lunch with me.

She said that would be a great idea, but we have never been able to get together. And now this.

[crispini]

17. Ah, well, you've got the right idea then.

IMO, one more email wouldn't hurt. You seem to have the right attitude about it anyway. Good for you! :thumbsup: Internet dating is kinda tough.

[jonnyblitz]

10. usually people who post profiles on these sites are responding

and communicating with multiple people so somebody else probably captured her interest over you. a big mistake is to think as though you are the only one whose profile she is responding to.

[JohnnyCougar]

12. She didn't have a profile. It was on craigslist.

Who knows, though. Maybe I just have to be more aggressive.

[jonnyblitz]

14. well..how frequent were the emails until she stopped sending..

were they close together in time frame? I have met lots of people from online back in the day when I was looking around. I automatically call any info on a "people meeting" site a profile. i assume it has to have some info about a person in order to spark interest.

anyways if the initial correspondance was close together in timeframe before this ten day timeframe of no response i would be suspicious but I would probably give her another chance. in the meantime i would look for possible other people.

[JohnnyCougar]

16. Well, I already am looking for others temporarily.

It normally took only a day or two for her to respond before. But craig's list is a site where anyone can respond. You don't need a profile.

The thing is, I don't really want to look for other people, because this gerl seemed pretty cool. Aye...I have to make a decision soon.

[jonnyblitz]

18. then keep trying...for awhile.

it can't hurt!

[imenja]

13. why does this sound like 6th grade?

It's the interest for Christ's sake. It's not like communicating with someone you've already met in real life. You can't have any real interest in a person until you meet them. You're making a lot of assumptions that are very likely not the case. It's possible she's dating someone else, but if that's the case she might respond to his email by saying so. It's also possible that she's had other things on her mind and might be pleased to hear from him again. If one doesn't actually care about meeting the other person, your point of view is perfect, but if he does, there is nothing lost with another email.

[jonnyblitz]

15. as i stated in my next response to him,

based on my vast experience with meeting people online. I now what I do so i assume others might do it, too. no worries. :hi:

[JohnnyCougar]

19. OK, I sent her one last e-mail.

You know, I am not surprised at this at all. I was really impressed with what this girl had to say. Which makes sense...the better I think things are going, the worse they go. All scenarios, all the time.

[Jack Rabbit]

20. Haven't heard in 10 days?

Who's next?

[JohnnyCougar]

21. BINGO...got a response.

Boy, that was quick. As soon as I use imperative sentences, things start to progress more quickly. Instead of "we should go out sometime" I used "give me your number so we can go out sometime" and it worked like clockwork.

Well, that settles that, at least for now!

[crispini]

25. Right on!

See, that's how it works. :thumbsup: Pussyfooting around will get you nowhere in dating. "We should go out sometime" gets the response "sure, why not." Whereas, "How about next Sunday?" will get you a sure-fire Yea or Nay!