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have any retired folks here had trouble adjusting?

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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:03 AM
Original message
have any retired folks here had trouble adjusting?
Adjusting to retired life, I mean ;-)

My dad retired last year, and he seems to have developed an obsessive need to woodwork. He makes some beautiful things, but jeebus, he spends every waking second from 7 am to around 6 pm making *stuff*. My brothers and I all have at least two freakin' breadboxes each... we also have tons of shelving units, kitchen tables, and cabinets, all lovingly handmade by our dad, who can't seem to stop producing household goods for his kids and other assorted family members.

I didn't really notice how bad it was until I just recently moved closer to home for college. I live in a pretty small apartment, and my dad's basically filled the place with stuff. Last week I mentioned that I was looking into getting a new computer desk, and my dad showed up a few days later with one in the back of his truck.

I know he needs some hobbies and such to fill his time while he's adjusting to not having a schedule during the day, but really... is this healthy? Would it be weird to bring it up and maybe suggest another use for his time?

Writing this from a spankin' new desk,
binaryline ;-)
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Maple Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
1. Get him in business
selling the stuff...before you drown!

The man needs to work and feel useful.
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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:16 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. I've suggested that
and my dad's been weird about it. Besides, my mom has 9 brothers and sisters, so he's been busying himself making gifts for all of them. After he wears out his welcome with my aunts and uncles, I'll suggest the craft show circuit again.

He really does make some handsome things, though. I'd be happier for him if he made a little money from his, um, hobby ;-). Thanks for the suggestion, Maple.
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Friar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
2. get him some research material
on like really old antique designs and shit. Give him a challenge. He's got all these tools and apparently has the skills. Try to find him something that will challenge him and quite probably make some $$. Besides, your Mom is probably glad he's not puttering around the house.
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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:19 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. That's a good idea
I've actually been looking into books for him. Maybe I could get him into, like, exotic scroll working or something. Or maybe that'll just make it worse ;-).

At the very least, it'll result in fewer breadboxes...
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:47 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. I love being retired.
He'll find his equilibrium. Right now, it sounds like he cannot
believe he has his own time and he can indulge himself. Some people
feel that they have to make every minute pay. Not so.
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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 01:59 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. I know that he's excited about retirement
and I also know that he and my mom planned on travelling quite a bit after he retired. It just seems like some of my dad's projects have gotten in the way of their travel plans.

It'll work itself out eventually, I'm sure. I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the need to occupy their normal working hours with a hobby post-retirement.
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DemExpat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 02:14 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Bless his heart! Reminds me of my Dad.......
Here's to retired, 'don't know what to do with themselves but keep busy' Dads.... :toast:

Mine died in 1997....wish I could have some more of his 'handywork' now...

:hi:

DemEx
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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 02:30 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. aw, man, don't make me sad about it ;-)
Maybe that's his purpose with all of this... to make so many items that none of his kids will ever be able to escape his memory :toast:
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Friar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 03:10 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. my Mom
did that with her needlepoint. She was an expert.
A few years before she passed on she asked each of us kids (there are six of us and we were all adults by this time) to pick out some patterns. I chose this one of a vase with flowers. If looks could kill! I didn't realize it at the time but it was the most complicated design she had ever done. I gave it to my daughter.
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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 03:56 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. that's sweet
My grandma (my dad's mom) was big on needlepoint. She was also big on knitting-- I've got afghans out the wazoo right now. Even if I lost heat in my apt., I'd be snug as a bug with all my Granny afghans ;-).

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binaryline Donating Member (409 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 04:00 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Suddenly...
I've realized something about obsessive hobbies passed down thru the generations ;-) D'oh!
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Friar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 02:15 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. tell your Mom to schedule the trip
and then one day confront the old man with his bags packed, the RV fueled and the papers and mail cancelled. He's used to being told where to go and what to do. All us men are. Shh. That's a secret, don't tell.
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MaineDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 06:37 AM
Response to Original message
13. I agree that he'll find balance
It's hard to realize, when first retired, that you don't have to do all you can in your free time. We're used to doing that on weekends and days off.

It takes a while for the "I don't have to do that now; I can do it tomorrow" attitude to click in.

Your dad probably hasn't taken the time to just sit and relax. It'll come.

I'd let him do what he wants. He's earned this time. :)
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cmd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-15-03 06:47 AM
Response to Original message
14. Not for a minute
I'm doing all the things that I love. I have all of you to help me keep my thinking in order. I love it.
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