Best Of The Worst Country Western Song Titles

[Neoma]

1. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
2. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
3. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
5. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When I've Been A Liar All My Life?
7. I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
8. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
9. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
10. I Fell In A Pail Of You And Got Love All Over Me
11. I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
12. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
13. I Whanna Whip Your Cow
14. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
15. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
16. I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
17. I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
18. I'm The Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised
19. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
20. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line.
21. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
22. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
23. If My Nose Were Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
24. If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go Find Someone Else Who Will
25. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
26. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
27. My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
28. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
29. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
30. Wife Ran Off WIth My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
31. Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
32. Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
33. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
34. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
35. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
36. She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
37. Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
38. They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
40. When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
41. You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
42. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
43. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
44. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
45. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Hey...How Can I miss You if YOu Won't GO Away

wasn't REALLY country western...more like folk/jazz..Dan Hicks

[Neoma]

2. alright..

[Wapsie B]

3. I remember hearing

song #1. Can't think of who sang it though.

[Hardrada]

4. She's Acting Single And I'm Drinking Doubles

[oregonjen]

5. #3 was sung by John Denver regarding his second wife

whom he divorced. When he sang it in concert, we all knew who he was singing about. #43 is You Done Stomped On My Heart And Mashed That Sucker Flat as I recall :)

[-..__...]

6. "If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me. "

Yeeeeah-Hawahhhh! B-)

[Maccagirl]

7. "Let's Get Drunk and Screw"

We used to sing that at work when the boss called in sick.