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Q: What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
A: George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.
After the Swift Boat Veterans who served with Kerry in Vietnam claimed that Kerry lied about his heroism, the Democrats wanted to make a similar ad attacking Bush, but they couldn't find anyone who served with him.
Q: How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision to stick with that light bulb. People who say that it is burned out are giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.
The reporter asked Colin Powell, "What proof do you have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
He replied, "We kept the receipts."
It appears Bush has a new plan for solving the Social Security crisis:
Influenza.
George W. Bush died and went to the Pearly Gates and met St. Peter who said, "Welcome to the After Life and would you like to go to heaven or to hell?" So Mr. Bush took a look at hell and there was a beautiful country club with an 18-hole golf course and a fine residential neighborhood with lovely lawns and a shopping mall, and then he looked around heaven and found a lot of serious people talking about ethics and mathematics and history and playing
their harps and praising God. "Well," he said, "I never thought I'd say this, but frankly, I'd rather go to hell." So he went and there were people chained to red-hot rocks and screaming. "What happened to the golf course?" said Mr. Bush. "Oh, that was just campaigning," the Devil said. "Now you've voted for us."
There's a Republican dating service, but it's not working that great. Neither date wants to pay.
Q: What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, caring, and well-read?
A: A tourist.
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