Top 10 Dog complaints about humans

[wyldwolf]

1. Blaming your farts on me ... not funny ... not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A F***IN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ... stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoo Hoooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

[RetroLounge]

1. LOL!

Been guilty of about half of those...

RL

[A HERETIC I AM]

2. #11 "Stop pissing in the big porcelain water dish!

I'ts handy just after i get up from sleeping on your bed while you're out. SO STOP IT!!

[A HERETIC I AM]

3. #12 " Stop telling people "He/She thinks he's human!"

I KNOW i'm a fucking dog AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY! I can run faster than you and i OBVIOUSLY have a better time than you.

[Demit]

4. Scratch my ears...that's it...mmmm... Hey! Why'd you stop? Why'd you stop?

[Hans Delbrook]

5. You have that huge bag of dog food

yet you dole it out in such small portions! Why? Why? Why must I go hungry all the time? Then you get mad when I try to "forage" for myself!

[Padraig18]

6. LMAO

:P

[kodi]

7. Quit putting Listerine in the toilet bowl to cure my bad breath

.